Tulsa
is so much better than Ft. Smith
there are so many people carrying
bundles and burdens
and the jail is located right next to
the Sally Ann
so street people warrant not even
a second look while yawning.
three agencies feed:
in the morning, episcopal church,
from 8:30--10. coffee, so hard to find
around here
and friendly people
and sad hungover indians
and niggers
and poor white trash
and obese women timidly
holding hands
with angry young men
with red-rimmed eyes.
sad old white men
looking like the street has
run them down
looking like they were thrown
away
and crawled back out of the
dust bin.
finding a place to sleep
is another thing altogether.
something out of sight
someplace where you won't get seen
and kicked to death
by those same
angry young men
seeking their own incarceration.
it's strange
almost holy
a pilgrimage i am on
here in my late middle age.
last night i slept safe
invisible
on cardboard insulation
short-sleeved
then then longsleeve
then the sweats
then the red-checkered tablecloth
which is the most compact blanket
on my planet.
i awakened to a new day
with angels driving crumpled-fendered cars
and horns blasting rather than trumpets.
i hid the bag
(not a good place, but still looking)
and headed out for
coffee
and frozen peaches
and some kind of goulash
and rolled cigarettes
from top tobacco
and not worrying about much of anything
other than
how am i going to make this work?
it's really none of my business.
the ghost of bukowski
hovers about me
and his right-hand angel
msfuckingallthat
she is here, as well.
need i anything more?
well.....
above notes. good thing is the library is close at hand and has unlimited hours and no sign-up, and it's great. i will not starve, there are places to sleep INSIDE, but for now i prefer sleeping out. inside, they want yr life from 4:30 until sometime in the morning, and freedom is worth more than that to me.
they're having a bluegrass festival downtown for the next couple of days, and that's my (cough, cough) music. shitkicker, here.
Will write more soon, sooner, soonest. Couldn't see yr pic, dammit. Sigh. Do take care, and, yeah, I do owe ya one. As friend to friend. Be nice if you never need that, but will be here for you if and when. For $69 i can get a one-way anywhere, given 2 weeks notice. Heh, heh.
Watch out, America!
Read my poem in the Hold. Gawd, I actually like it and cannot remember writing it. Who saved it for you?
Much lovenlust,
Dickens3x
