Go on now, do it…. That maddening whisper, so seductive and silky it played on my mind like an enchantress. So enthralled I was….
Leave me alone! It was a desperate plea from a frightened and tormented child. Silence. It was silent. My body shook with an uninhibited desire. I could do it…. Strangely white diamonds gushed forth from my eyes, dropping in steady streams down my chin and over the side of my legs. Fingers moved in amazement at this act. Touching a fragment of crystal it was immediately crushed into the rivulets of water. Tears. I was crying. A sob escaped and with a shake of my body I clutched tighter. My body felt as if it were dying. I was dying.
Taking a good sized shaving razor I held it between my thumb and index finger in my right hand. Sharp, it glistened in the light. A smile through dead eyes. A quick, accurate, movement over soft skin, pressing deep. Crimson specks flecked the razor now, sparkled on the blade. Hot flowing life rushed down my forearm in wet ribbons. Sweet, stinging physical pain. Frayed nerves and intense throbbing in my arm. The razor fell from pale fingers to the ground, such a small silver object it was that caught my eye. It was held in an intense gaze. Dried tears were now coated with the fresh liquid snaking around my hand.
Standing up I felt the cut, felt it burn as the deep red stain washed over my digits and splashed on the dead object. Cold metal was given a drop of life, precious life in a red tear drop.
Another cold metal object lay before me. Sleek in design and quick to end one’s life in a mere instant. Only one bullet slept soundly in the weapon now, but soon it would make a new home.
Empty. An empty smile touched my lips. Were these my lips? Was this my soul being thrown into a tormented maelstrom? It was. It was.
Hollow. A hollow laugh caressed my throat as I felt strangely peaceful. And ending to an unfit beginning. My life? Nothing more than a speck of dirt on the hand of the world.
A voice commanded me, or perhaps it was my own that echoed in my head. The gun weighed heavily in my pallor skinned hand. The voices cheered with joy. Cheered for my day of reckoning was near. I could almost attain peace. My soul wept bitterly and my body responded once more. A fluid of crystals scraped my face in searing streams. A moment had passed. The last of my soul had finally been extracted, eradicated, from this pitiful being. Water fell to the floor. Blood dripped beside it.
A glance and a numbed, dead, body answered with what was thought to be surprise. It was a phone on the hook lying there. My finger squeezed tighter on the trigger.
The phone. Tighter it pressed, almost there. No….My friend. Was that hope I felt just now? No, no, no! I had to complete this! Talk to your friend. Go, Call them. The phone. It was almost time for the bullet to awake from the depths of slumber. The phone. My friend. The trigger. The bullet.
Choose!! A scream. My voice.
Click.
