Waking the Dead
by Budgiebird

Classification- Humor / Nonsensical fanfic
Archives- Just please let me know first!
Rating- PG-13 for language
Spoilers- A bit of DeadAlive and TINH
Summary- A strange suggestion may lead to the ultimate cure.
Disclaimer- Sadly, these characters are not mine, and never will be. *sob!*
Feedback- Tentatively accepted (for this story) at Budgiebird88@yahoo.com
Note- My father - yes, my father - gave me the idea for this story, and since I had gone through a very trying day of math, my mind went berserk, and this story popped out!!

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John Doggett looked around the church. He couldn't believe that he was actually at Fox Mulder's funeral. After all of the months of searching, this is where everyone wound up.

He looked over at Scully, who was sitting next to him, still as a statue. The funeral began. Doggett felt himself slowly drifting off as the priest droned on and on and on.............

His eyes popped back open however, when he heard the funeral song. "It Was Our Day?" he asked in puzzlement, referring to the song. He looked up at the choir's balcony. Sure enough, there were four girls dressed all in denim standing up there.

"B*witched? What the hell???" he muttered. Scully whacked him on the arm to quiet him. He turned toward her.

"Uh, am I still dreamin', or are B*witched actually up in the choir balcony singin'?" he asked. Scully gave him a small smile.

"You aren't dreaming." she said. Doggett raised his eyebrows.

"Well then, you might as well have Œem sing We Four Girls. That's loud enough to wake the dead."

At his comment, Scullyıs eyes lit up. Doggett gave her a weird look.

"Uh, Agent Scully, why are you wearin' those glasses that the Gunmen bought that lit up so that you wouldn't bang into things in the dark?"

Scully reached up and took off the glasses.

"Oh. I guess I brought the wrong ones. Oh well."

She put the glasses away, and then practically jumped on Doggett, hugging him.

"Agent Doggett, you're a genius!!! How can I ever thank you??" she exclaimed. She then pushed past him and ran up to the choir balcony.

Skinner moved over to Doggett's side,
"Uh, Agent Doggett, what is Agent Scully doing?"
Doggett shook his head.

"I think I might know. If I'm right, I'm becomin' very scared."

Just as Doggett had guessed, the beginning notes of We Four Girls began to play. He slapped his forehead as the music started at full blast.

"Oh shit. She took me seriously!!" he moaned. Skinner didn't hear him. He was too busy watching the priest start to Irish dance in front of the coffin. The people in the crowd had begun to sing along.

"This whole place has become B*witched." Skinner muttered. Doggett whacked him upside the head.

"Funny sir."
"Thank you Agent."

As the song ended, a strange noise could be heard. It sounded almost like a knocking. Doggett finally noticed the coffin lid. It was lifting up. Slowly, it inched up and up and up until..........

"Mulder!!!" everyone shouted. Mulder popped up from the coffin.

"What'd I miss?" he demanded. Doggett looked at Skinner.

"This is damn weird." he stated. Skinner nodded. Scully ran up to the front and gave Mulder a huge hug. She then turned to Doggett and Skinner and beckoned them over. She hugged each of them in turn.

"Doggett, you were right!! And now we four girls are definitely here to stay!"

The three men looked at each other. Finally, Mulder pointed out the obvious. "Uh, Scully, we aren't girls."

"Oh yeah. Right..." Scully muttered. B*witched chose that moment to start up another song, and everyone danced merrily into the sunset.

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