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Chapter Five: Taking Stock
Or, "We are so screwed..."
*Xander*
"I sometimes like things that aren't good for me." - Xander
This is my fault. I was stupid. Trusted a vampire. What happened to my good old "Demons bad" philosophy? I'm a dunce. A brainless twit. Spike saves my life a few times, tells me he loves me, takes care of me, gives me hot demony sex and I automatically assume he's good...I should be shot repeatedly. I finished bandaging Riley's leg and sighed, staring at the first aid kit that I'd found in the kitchen. "When you wake up and are all coherent again, Ri, you can kick my ass, k?" He slept on, no doubt dreaming of Buffy or something equally good and happy. Why can't I date a normal human-person?
I looked around the room, avoiding looking at Spike who stood sulking and smoking on the balcony outside the lounge. Oz was finally sleeping, curled up on one of the beds Spike'd dragged in, looking small and defenseless, despite the story he'd told. Thanks to him, there was another bandaged figure sleeping on the next bed over. Jonathan had suffered a broken arm, but he'd be dead if not for Oz's wolfing out and biting their attackers. Apparently Aliens are highly allergic to a werewolf's bite. They'd fled with their prize after the first one imploded.
Riley was sleeping on the bed in front of me, as yet unaware of his girlfriends kidnapping. That was a thought I wanted to avoid... Buffy bagged by the blue beasties from the big black beyond.I sighed and flopped down on the couch that had been shoved into the corner to accomodate the total of four beds and five unconcious people. I scrubbed at my face in my hands and scratched at my itchy scalp. I still hadn't managed a shower.
I wanted desperately to go clean up, just so I could concentrate properly but I was afraid that the moment I left, Spike would start playing with sharp things again, but this time on Willow or Tara. I couldn't trust him and I didn't know how I was going to stay sane like I was. I looked around, begging for someone to appear and tell me what to do. But no one appeared. The injured slept, the vampire smoked, and I remained on my own. And itchy, dammit! I growled in frustration and got up to pace. I couldn't think properly with the crusty alien blood and dirt twitching my skin and Buffy was gone and maybe dead. Giles and Angel and Wes and Gunn and Wills were all gone and I had no clue what to do and Spike just stood there, beyond the sliding glass doors, smoking and staring at the outside world while I freaked out and wasn't he supposed to love me? I was pacing in the small amount of room there was to pace in between beds and trying not to pull my hair out.
"Hey man, you okay?" Oz's sleepy voice asked, stopping me mid-pace. I turned to look at him.
"Not exactly no..." I said with a slightly hysterical giggle. He looked so childish with his bed-hair and blurry eyes. "Can you...keep an eye on things for a minute...I need to go break something." Oz raised an eyebrow at that and nodded. I was outta there in a second.
Once I was out of the room and safely in the now demon-free bathroom, I felt a little less twitchy. I quickly stripped and climbed into the shower and slid to the bottom to sit under the scalding fall of water. I watched mindlessly as swirls of blue, brown, black, and blood red circled the drain.
After a few minutes of that, I took a deep breath and started to take stock. "Willow it missing. Buffy is missing or dead. Riley is out of commision. Jonathan is out. Tara is weak. Spike is..." My throat choked closed on a sob. After a moment of deep breaths I continued. "We've got Oz, Spike, and me." I took another deep breath. Be a man, Xander. At that moment I probably would've kissed Angel if he'd have just shown up and started bossing me around until I wanted to stake him.
I finally dragged myself to my feet and turned the water to scalding and started scrubbing at myself with the little hotel soaps. I tried not to think serious thoughts while I worked at my short hair with two little bottles full of hotel shampoo. When I was finally clean enough, I dragged my soggy ass out of the shower and dried off, wrapping a towel around my waist. I stood at the sink in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror.
I looked like shit. Dark circles surrounded my bloodshot eyes, my face had grown a fierce forest of stubble, and the look of despair didn't help none. I smirked at myself. "I looked like I've been through a war. Fancy that." I frowned at my reflection. Something was off. It took a moment before I figure out what. My scars were gone. My body was perfect. Not a scratch on it. All the scars from wounds sustained in childhood or fighting demons with Buffy were gone. I frowned. Only one mark remained visible on my entire body and that was the gash I'd sustained in the explosion of L.A.
I ran light fingertips over the wound that was now merely a circle of raised pink tissue. Anya's body-switch had all but healed it. But why had it healed this one when everything else on my body had been swept clean? I pouted. All those years of fighting and being trounced by vicious beasties and I had all of one battle-scar to show for it. I could just see myself showing off at the beach. "Yeah, ladies...this one I got while in mortal combat with some deadly building materials..."I snorted. "And my boyfriend took most the damage anyway...aren't I manly?" I sighed and fell silent, remembering how shocked I was to see Spike standing over me, protecting me with his body.
I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, sinking out of sight of the mirror as I went. "Alright Xan, what're we doing about Spike?" I ran fingers through my hair while I tried to think. "So he's a soulless demon. He has no concept of right or wrong. He thinks the suffering of others is funny. The chip isn't controlling him completely." I listed the bad. "He's really sexy. He claims he loves me. He protects me and provides for me. He listens to me whine like a little girl and he really hot. I already said that. Um..." I gave up coherent thought for a minute and settled for knocking the back of my head against the wall repeatedly until I was rudely interrupted by the one who induced the brain squishing in the first place.
*Spike*
"Look at you. Shaking, terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb." - Spike
"Open the soddin' door, we need to chat." I growled at the bathroom door after knocking on it loudly.
"Do you have a gun?" He called back. I scowled.
"No. Open the bloody door!" There was a noise of movement from the other side then his voice came back.
"Go get one."
"What?"
"Go get a gun."
"What for?" I stared at the door, confused.
"I'm gonna shoot myself and stake you, then I'll shoot Oz and Jon, and Tara and Willow and Riley...maybe not in that order...and then we can all go to our respective homes in heaven or hell." A slightly disturbing giggle followed that announcement. "You think Buffy's already up there, waiting for us? She'll be mad at me for going to hell with you but I don't think they let murderers in upstairs. Maybe she can visit us...they prolly have one of those rooms with the windows and phones that they have in prison. She'll come to visit us in Limbo and we'll whine and bitch about how raunchy the food is in hell and she'll be all glowy and pretty..." I pulled the door open regardless of the lock.
My boy was standing leaning on the sink, staring at the mirror with a glazed look in his eyes that suggested that he was already seeing the Slayer glowing on the other side of the glass. I ignored the unrecognizable feeling in my belly at the thought of the Slayer being dead and focussed instead on the look in Xan's eyes. He looked lost. Broken. It was worse than when he'd snapped over being a girl.
"Xan-" He shooked himself violently and turned to face me.
"We are so screwed..." He told me in utter seriousness. I shrugged.
"Been screwed worse. Just have to regroup is all." I reassured him absently. "Get all yer ducks in a line an' all that." He gave me a weird look.
"Are you a duck, Spike? Or are you one of those mean guys that shoot the ducks?" I blinked. Sometimes the kid's brain went in loopy circles that I doubt even Dru could comprehend.
"I'm neither, sweets." He frowned and pushed his fingers through his wet hair, starting to look a little less freaked.
"I need to trust you Spike or my brain is going to implode before we can stop the baddies." He said after a deep breath. I winced. I'd harbored a small hope that he'd forgotten about our little spat in the light of his freaking out.
"Don't know how you're goin' to manage that, kitten. 'm a soulless demon." I mumbled a little bitterly.
"Do you really love me, Spike?" He asked out of nowhere. I blinked up at him. He held my gaze steadily, demanding the truth. I cursed under my breath.
"Against my better judgement, yes." I told him. Why did the git always make me act like a nancy boy? He nodded.
"Prove it. Until we beat the aliens, or they beat us, I want you to pretend to be a duck." Eh? A duck? He wants me to quack? He rolled his eyes at my expression and sighed. "Don't do anything that I wouldn't do."
I thought about it for a moment. I could go as I was. Be me and keep trying to be as evil as possible. Or I could do as I originally planned back in that Sunnydale cemetery. I could be good for my boy. I sighed. Just how much was I expected to sacrifice for a good shag? The git hasn't even put out in the past fourty-eight hours! I scowled at him as he waited expectantly.
"On one condition." I began. He frowned.
"Your love it conditional? How romantic." He snorted. I took a deep calming breath.
"My love is as yet unreciprocated and therefore conditional until further notice so shut your gob and listen you whiney li'l shit." His eyes kinda bugged out a little.
"Wow Spike...those were some big words..." He snarked. I cursed the chip. The git really needed to be smacked. I growled at him and he shut his mouth.
"One condition. Sex. When I want it, how I want it." He blinked at me.
"But..."
"Thats my condition. Take it or leave it." Please take it? Pleeeeeaaaase? He scowled at me.
"Fine. But only at appropriate times. I'm not screwing you when I need to be saving the world or something." I nodded once.
"Right then. Get out. I want a shower and the Wolf needed help changing his bandages. Don't enjoy it too much though..." I shoved him out of the bathroom and shut the door on his sputtering face. Turning to the mirror I grinned evilly at my lack of reflection. I've met some mean ducks in my time...almost lost my finger to one when I was a boy
*Willow Wall Walker*
(AAAAH! I did it again!)"I don't have a pulse. so technically I don't have a heart."-Angel
"Mission accomplished! I kick soooo much butt!" I cheered with an abbreviated version of the snoopy dance. After much fleeing and spying and guessing, I'd somehow managed to sneak on board a shuttle-type thing that was leaving the wreckage of the ship I'd killed. With any luck, I was headed straight for the mother-ship and once I got there, who knew how much useful intel I'd be able to gather!
I settled down on the floor between two different compartments of the shuttle, hoping that no one would see me and tried to relax enough to take a nap. It was strange. I was tired. How was I tired? I didn't have a physical body. Wherever my body was it was most likely sleeping anyway so why were my metaphysical eyelids drooping? I frowned. And how am I able to give myself a headache thinking about it when I don't have a physical head? ARGH!
I sighed and started counting little blue color swirlies on the bulkheads around me.
Radioactive Flowers live
HERE .