"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
Gene Hill
"In dog years, I'm dead."
Unknown
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car,
in case the need should arise
for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Dave Barry
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant
popularity of dogs."
Aldous Huxley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn
around three times before lying down."
Robert Benchley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
Sue Murphy
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't
got the guts to bite people themselves."
August Strindberg
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
Fran Lebowitz
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing
haul -- chicken, pork, half
a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
Rita Rudner
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can.
That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
Joe Weinstein
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
James Thurber
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
Nora Ephron
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog
that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!"
Dr. Tom Cat
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
Edward Abbey
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look
like the dog did it."
Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
Unknown
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
Christopher Morley
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
Holbrook Jackson
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life,his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
Unknown
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt,
and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
John Steinbeck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m sure if he had --- that little black dog,
Knew right from the first he was God,
He needed no proof that Christ was divine,
But worshipped the ground that he trod.
I’m afraid that he hadn’t, because I have read,
How he prayed in the garden alone,
For all of his friends and disciples had fled,
Even Peter, the one called a stone.
Oh, I am sure that that little black dog,
With a heart so tender and warm,
Would never have left him,
To suffer alone.
But creeping right under his arm,
Would have licked those dear fingers,
In agony clasped,
And counting all favors but loss.
When they took him away,
Would have trotted behind,
And followed him,
Right to the cross.
**The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even though I haven't gotten the chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
**I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
**I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
**I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
**I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
**I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
**I will not throw up in the car.
**I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
**I will not lick my human's face after eating animal dung. **"Kitty box crunchies" are not food!
**I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard or house depending on which end processes it first.
**The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
**I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
**I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell him.
**I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
**I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
**When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
**We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
**I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
**The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
**My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
**I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
**I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
**I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
**I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside for more than 2 minutes.
**I will not chase the cat and knock over breakable things in the process.
**I will allow Mom and Dad some room and covers when we go to bed.
