Keesha was staring intently at her plate and water glass making sure
that she wasn't going to make a huge mistake and knock something over.
Carefully she picked up her water glass and took a small sip. Just as
carefully, she placed it back on the table. She wiped her mouth with
her napkin and started to pick at her food.
She knew that Zac was forcing himself to be polite. She couldn't help
but wonder if her deafness was taking it's toll on him, and that he was
getting too uncomfortable to be around her. She thought for a moment.
'He didn't seem to change until after I washed my hands tonight.' She
thought a little bit more and then her eyes widened.
'Washed my hands!!' She mentally screamed. 'The scars!!'
Soon Keesha felt her stomach do flips and nausea hit her hard. Really
hard. She clutched her stomach with one hand and she reached for her
water glass with the other. Her sweater raised up slightly around her
wrist and she caught Zac staring at it. Keesha lost her train of
thought and saw her glass tip over. She tried to catch it but only
succeeding in drenching Isaac. Who was sitting next to her.
Isaac and Keesha both stood up quickly. Isaac in shock and trying to
escape anymore water that can land on him. Keesha in total
embarrassment. She blushed an unnatural shade of red. No human had
ever been as red as she was at that instant. Her eyes filled with tears
and she ran into the kitchen blinded by her tears that she refused to
let spill over.
Isaac was trying unsuccessfully to dry his shirt with his cloth
napkin. He followed after Keesha thinking that she might be okay by
now. At least he had hoped so.
Keesha let a few tears fall before she rapidly wiped them away. She
was shaking badly and she was trying desperately to stop. Clutching
onto a chair for support she felt the chair start to move under her
violent shakes. Slowly she sank into the chair and hung her head in her
hands. Trying to calm down after an episode like that was almost
impossible.
Then she felt someone's hand land on her shoulder. She jumped out of
the chair quickly. Knocking it over and causing Isaac to jump back in
surprise.
"It's all right. No one's hurt." She saw Isaac's lips say as he
picked the chair up. "Are you okay?" He asked sitting her back down in
the chair.
Keesha let herself be put back in the chair. She looked away. She
felt her face burning up again. "I'm a total klutz and I'm sorry." She
mumbled.
Isaac tapped her shoulder but she refused to look at him. He tapped
her shoulder again. And she still refused to look at him. She stared
blankly at the wall. Waiting for him to leave. He didn't.
Sighing heavily and still facing the wall she decided that she would
talk to him. "You should go and finish your meal, Isaac. I've already
ruined it for myself. No need for me to ruin it for you too." she
stated as she continued to stare at the wall.
Again he tapped her shoulder and again she refused to look at him.
She was afraid that he'd laugh at her.
Isaac was getting very frustrated because she wouldn't look him in the
face so that he could talk to her. Finally he got down and sat in front
of her. "Keesha, I need to tell you something." He said looking her in
the eye.
She started to turn away from him when he grabbed her wrist. He made
her look at him. "Look it's just water. I wash my clothes in it. It's
not going to hurt my shirt." He said giving her a small smile.
Keesha shook her head. "That's not the problem." She replied.
"Then what is the problem?" He asked concerned.
"I'm a klutz!! I'm deaf!! I destroyed everyone's meal because I'm a
klutz and I couldn't hear anyone screaming to me that I was going to
knock my glass over!!" She said exasperated.
Isaac looked at her drawn back by her sudden outburst of words. "Is
that what you think happened?"
Keesha nodded. "That is what happened." She strained.
"No, it's not." Isaac said shaking his head. "No one was shouting at
you. No one's meal was ruined. All that happened was something that
happens at every meal at our house. Someone's glass always gets knocked
over. Zac's and Mackie's mainly. But everyone knocks their glasses
over sometimes." He said loosening his grip on her wrists a little.
Shaking her head furiously she replied. "I don't. I can't make a
mistake like that. You don't understand how perfect you have to be when
you have a handicap. You have to be perfect making up for the thing
that you don't have." She explained.
"You are too hard on yourself, Keesha. No one expects you to be
perfect. No one's perfect. And those who try and make themselves
perfect miss out on a lot of things in life." Isaac said shrugging.
"Like a good pasta dinner that's waiting in the next room." He
suggested wriggling his eyebrows up and down. "Besides everyone has a
handicap. We have Zac. And we don't try to be perfect." He said
trying to make her laugh.
And she did. "I'm sorry about spilling my glass. And you're missing
you meal." Keesha said smiling slightly.
"Come on. Come with me. It'll be fun. All you need to do is relax a
little bit, and everything will go smoothly." He said standing up.
He helped her up also and when she struggled against him her sleeves
raised up slightly. Not a lot. But enough to see her scars.
Isaac let out a small cry of shock. He raised the sleeves up higher,
much against her protest. "What's up with these?" He asked looking
into her eyes again. Instead of concern she thought that she saw a
flicker of anger.
She thrust her sleeves back down and started to walk away. "We really
should get back to our meal, Isaac. They probably think that something
is really wrong with me."
When Keesha returned to the table no one stared at her awkwardly or
accused her of ruining their meal. All that had changed was that her
water glass got refilled and Isaac's napkin covered the wet spot on the
table. She resumed eating and this time she concentrated even harder on
not making anymore mistakes.
Isaac had returned a few minutes later and was trying to get her
attention all through the rest of the meal. Keesha just ignored him.
She didn't want to be questioned about her scars. Because she couldn't
explain them. She didn't know much about them. Except for the fact
that something bad had happened and that she had gotten the scars from
it. What had happened, she didn't know. And no one seemed willing to
tell her. 'Left in silence.' She thought to herself.
'Again.'
-Later that night still
at Hanson's house-
Zac waited until after he knew his parents were asleep, but before
Isaac and Taylor fell asleep. "Guy's what happens if you see something
that you shouldn't have? And you don't know if you should tell someone
or not?" He asked as he stared at the ceiling.
"Like what?" Isaac asked interested.
"Like I said, you don't know if you should tell someone or not." Zac
repeated.
Taylor smiled down at Zac. "Why don't you tell us, and we'll tell you
if you should tell someone." He suggested.
Isaac tried to stifle a laugh.
Zac looked at Taylor angrily. "Tay, I'm twelve. Not two." He
replied bitterly.
"Sorry. Well, was it something dangerous?" Taylor asked.
"At one time. Probably a long time ago." Zac replied quietly as he
stared out the window.
"Was this life threatening?" Isaac asked knowing what Zac was getting
at.
Zac snapped his head up and looked at Isaac. He looked at him
wondering if Isaac knew what he knew. "Maybe." He responded.
Isaac looked at Zac and ran his finger across his wrist and tapped his
ears.
Wide eyed, Zac nodded his head slowly. Then he rolled over in his
bed.
Taylor looked at Zac. "Why are you all of a sudden quiet, Zac? I
thought you wanted to know about what you saw?" He questioned.
Zac faced Taylor again. He hated leaving his brother in the dark.
But he didn't know if it was his place to tell him about Keesha and her
scars. Loyalty and love for his brother won over. "When I went to go
get Keesha for dinner, I saw her washing her hands."
"Yeah?" Taylor asked. "What's so life threatening about that?"
He sighed. "Keesha had scars across her wrists. And up and down her
arms too. They were pretty long and they looked like they were deep
when it happened." Zac explained slowly.
"Whoa." Taylor said holding up his hand. "Are you saying that you
think you saw scars across Keesha's wrists and up and down her arms?
Thinking that she might have tried suicide?" He asked.
Zac stared at Taylor. "I do not think that I saw scars, Tay. I know
that I saw scars! And yes, I think that she attempted suicide. And by
the looks of it she failed at it!!" He said angrily
