Before I begin I want to say that this webpage is not here to condemn the body of Christ, but to help those within it that are struggling with depression or other emotional issues.
That being said, there is no denying that many christians sit week after week in their church congregations and suffer silently because of the church's lack of understanding or compassion in regards to emotional issues. I want to offer a place of support to those who may not have one. You will find my personal story below.
As hard as this is to tell publicly, it may help others.
As far back as I can remember, as least as far as my teen years go, I struggled with fear and depression. It was hard not knowing where to turn, I had become a christian while listening to christian radio but no one in my family was a christian so I wasn't sure what to do! After several years of wandering, I recommitted my life to God and found a church home. You would think that would have gone a long way towards ending my depression, but it didn't! I loved my church and the people in it were very special to me, but I never opened up to them much about what was really going on with me. I had heard so many sermons about how there were too many christians that went around with long faces and what a bad witness that was, I was scared to death to be honest and be rejected! I had experienced enough rejection and and verbal abuse to last me a lifetime, I didn't want anymore. So, I went to church every time the doors were opened, so to speak, got involved and tried to be a good christian.
Despite how alone I felt and how much I wanted to really connect with people at my church, I kept the pain inside for years. Finally it all got to much for me, I became deeply and clinically depressed with overwhelming anxiety. I called up my christian counselor just a few hours after meeting with her for the first time and was hysterical, saying I just wanted to die! I ended up spending a week in a local crisis center. I could not believe that this was happening to me, but was was even harder to believe was that not one pastor from my church came to see me! I was hurt! I called to ask why and was told that they didn't know I was allowed visitors there so I explained that I was and gave the visiting hours. After that phone call I fully expected to receive a visit from one of my pastors, but never did. I did get a note and copy of a christian magazine dropped off from one of them, but that was it! After being released from the crisis center, I returned to my church for services a few times. I was told that one pastor, the one who left the note and magazine for me, had come at the wrong time and wasn't allowed in, and the next night another pastor came up and went to the wrong door and it was locked, so when no one came in or out after awhile, he left.
This was the most disappointing experience of my life! I understand that things happen and people will let you down even when they don't mean to, but when I needed my church the most, they weren't there for me. Had my "illness" been physical and I been in a local hospital I know someone would have been there praying with me. Suddenly the church that had been so important to me for many years looked different to me and I wasn't sure what to do. I stayed away from church for a few months but eventually I did return to my church and I am glad I did! Forgiveness is always a healing choice.
Well, I know that was kind of long, but that is my story and its what lead me to start this webpage. I knew I could not be the only one needing a place of caring and support. If you do too, read on!
There are two ways you can join us, either on our message board or our yahoogroups email list. Feel free to be a part of both if you like!
To join our message board, just click on the button below to be taken to it. After that just click on Register Your Free Account, follow the instructions and you're in!
To join our yahoogroups email discussion group just enter your email address in the box below!
Please feel free to stop by and visit us anytime and email me with any questions or comments!
