Breakthrough.
Infinity is there. Light is there. And the wind that
tears off the covers, exposing the planes. Emptiness.
Eternity. Power. Here – the shadow of reality filled
with ghosts.
1.
Just to walk. Walk on the ice, paying attention to
nothing. To whisper words that have no sense and are
slowly taken away by the wind. To feel the space
without feeling fear of waking up. Solitude. It is
the only thing that still exists. This strange,
intense solitude, transforming into the sound of
waves, eternal, immense, so far from you. Step. One
more step. Inhale. Exhale…Slide. You can touch the
air. It is cool and gentle. You can squeeze it in your
hand, and watch how it slowly flows down between your
fingers like jelly. Again and again. Like that pain
that fascinates. There is nothing. There is only this
space, empty. The Space. You exist. You do not. You
see your hands, but even they are an illusion.
Everything is…a dream. Maybe you should wake up (or
fall asleep?)…Who is dreaming about whom? Do I dream
of you? Or it is you who sees me in your dream? What
am I asking this for? Shadows…. Night or day…not the
night and not the day. Memory that does not exist. You
are me. And there is no ‘us’. Step. Permanent wind.
You can look straight. Or you can fly and watch
yourself. Fly and watch….
There is nothing there, and yet this emptiness is
filled with itself, and there is no higher happiness
than feeling it. At first on the surface, and then
inside….And when you become empty, your life starts to
be intense, because it is nothing than the game of the
shadows, not more than that, and nothing except for
emptiness matters. You can leave this farce in any
moment, but it gives you so many insights, so many
meetings, so many happy and unhappy moments…. You flow
with this current of your life, without forgetting
that you are not a part of it anymore, that you are
free. Freedom! The most controversial notion. After
you understand its meaning there will be no secret of
the Universe left outside of your view. It is a chance
to have a chance to resolve all of them.
And now I am standing on the balcony and looking on
the night city again. Mystical trees, the wind,
shadows, the sky, dark and blue, playing with the
nuances of black and orange – red in the East…. The
city is empty. I lift up and fly down. The air, this
cool mass is covering my body, allowing me to continue
my journey into the reality. I fly in the city, and a
feeling is bothering me. The city is Empty. The world
and me – we exist, and we are left alone. Feels so
strange….
There is Truth in this solitude. You are alone when
you are born, and you die lone. When you are there,
alone, nothing matters. Life, what you usually call
“life” is nothing. It is just a place where you held
your numerous battles. Not more than this. It is the
school, where everyone learns what he wants to learn:
one learns to feel pity for himself, to indulge in his
imaginary sufferings or happiness, the other learns to
fight for freedom. Life is your path to there, life is
not the result itself, it does not matter. The only
thing you should do is to live it and be impeccable in
living.
