What Was That Again ? ! ? ! ? ! ?

What Was That Again?

~Do Lord, Oh Do Lord~

A merry heart doeth good
like a medicine. Pro.17:22

These are actual mistakes that have been found printed in church bulletins. Some are sure to give a chuckle!

  • "Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
  • Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."
  • "Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."
  • "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
  • "Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time."
  • "The peacekeeping meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict."
  • "The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'."
  • "Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get."
  • "Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons."
  • "The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing 'Break Forth into Joy'."
  • "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, 'hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you."
  • "Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help."
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days."
  • "A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow."
  • "At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."
  • "Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."
  • "The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir."
  • "Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
  • "The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel."

  • "For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."
  • "Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered."
  • "Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."
  • "The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility."
  • "Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow."
  • "The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."
  • "This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring along a blanket and be prepared to sin."
  • "Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the fellowship hall after the B.S. is done."
  • "The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning."
  • "Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door."
  • "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."
  • "Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance."
  • "Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes."
  • "The pastor is starting a "Mother's Club" next Sunday evening. All women who would like to become mothers should meet with the pastor in his study."

  • "The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'."

Hope some of these brought a grin to your face!
If you have a cute little item that you'd like to see
included on this page, please send it to me, and I'll
be more than happy to include it! Thank you!

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