Terror has finally struck the streets of Pittsburgh...
Terror has finally struck the streets of Pittsburgh...
In these modern days of highly competitive sports, it is not uncommon to read about a riot breaking out in a far off city or college campus after a huge win for their respective teams, however nobody could have predicted that the horror could strike home here in quiet Western Pennsylvania.
"It spread like a wildfire," claimed student Xiao Chun Shi. "Nobody saw it coming, nobody had any warning. It was chaos."
We are referring, of course, to the horrible riot that broke out after the Carnegie Mellon men's basketball team upset La Roche in a close eight point victory. The Tartans, which aren't considered a basketball powerhouse, outmuscled their opponents with Matt Kaitz scoring 16 points in the paint. With one minute left, the fans started going nuts, as victory had been secured. After that, it was anarchy.
"I've never seen anything like it," claimed Chief of CMU Police Creig Doyle. "The kids here are usually so calm, and foreign. Most of them don't even know what basketball is, not that they would leave their computers to watch the game anyway."
Witnesses say that as many as twelve to thirteen crazed fans took to the streets, pushing over trash cans, throwing snowballs at cars, and even ridiculed the away team as they were getting onto their bus. It was a warzone.
This scene of chaos lasted for a good fifteen to twenty minutes. The rioters were apparently spooked, however, when a fed-up passerby slapped a hooligan who would not let her pass. Wanting to avoid any further violence, the gang dispersed, but not before tens of dollars of damage were inflicted.
"We do not condone actions of this sort at our institution," CMU President Jared Cohon explained. "Those responsible will be found and held accountable. We will do everything in our power to prevent this from ever happening again."
Luckily, there were minimal injuries in this tragic event. The student that was slapped was admitted to the First Aid station for hurt feelings, but released.
- Scotka
CMU students pitch snowballs as the riot grows more intense.
** An after-note on the CMU-LaRoche game:
La Roche's Cliff Foster scored only two points despite playing for thirty minutes. This has been attributed to the fact that he has a baby.
