Three and a half minutes.
Three and a half minutes.
What will Chancellor Mark Nordenberg's legacy be? The building of the Petersen Events Center? The rise of a new business building? The revival of our sports teams? These are all good guesses, but Chancellor Nordenberg will be remembered most by three and a half minutes.
What am I talking about? Last weekend the thirty year old kegstand record was shattered, by none other than the Chancellor of the prestigous University of Pittsburgh, Mark. A Nordenberg, performing under the pseudonym B.R. Drinker. The former record, set in 1973 by the immortal "Great Medulla" of Dublin, Ireland, was considered to be unbreakable. It took the heart and dedication of a champion, and Nordenberg has been training for this for years.
"Nobody seemed to take me seriously, seeing as I was involved in the administration of such a fine school," claimed Nordenberg. "The only option was to create an alter-ego, another name I could keg-stand under."
Since joining the scene in 1990, B.R. Drinker had his doubters, but nobody could doubt his work ethic and dedication. However, it took him ten years just to hit the three minute mark, and many felt like he was too old to contest the record, but he finally silenced his doubters last weekend.
"I really felt this was my last shot," explained Nordenberg. "It was now or never, but there was something in the air that night. I started off well, and once I hit that three minute mark I knew I was home free."
"After achieving this great feat, I will now retire from the sport of keg-standing, there's nothing left for me to do."
A ceremony celebrating this monumental achievement will be held on the Cathedral lawn on February 15th, 2003. All are welcome, and free keg-stand classes will be taught by the Chancellor from three to five in the PM.
- Scotka
Nordenberg's stand.
