Meteor Man: The Destruction of a Hero
Meteor Man: The Destruction of a Hero
It's a sad day in Hollywood as the star of the blockbuster flop, 'Meteor
Man,' had died. I remember idolizing the african-american star of this
inner-city hero flick back when it was released in 1993. However the vices
of Hollywood is what brought this hero to his down fall. Yes, Robert
Townsend, a promising up and coming actor/director decided to live a life of
alcoholism. However, his exploits with alcohol haven't just been recent.
During the shooting of the film Meteor Man, Townsend was notorius for
picking fights with co-stars James Earl Jones and Bill Cosby. Jones recalls
a time when Townsend came in one night after a poor day on the set, drunk
off his ass and mischief on his mind. Jones says that Townsend continually
pleaded with him saying 'You're not my father! My father was a great
Jedi-Knight, and you aren't him!' This of course referring to Jones' days as
the voice of Darth Vader in the epic Star Wars Trilogy. Cosby was also
terrorized by the Meteor Man. Our hero awoke Cosby at 4 am one morning in
his trailor, begging him to appear on a cameo of his hit tv sit-com, The
Cosby Show. 'He was constantly saying that he should appear in an episode
of the show, as Theo Huxtable's long lost twin brother, who comes in and has
an affair with Claire (Phylicia Rashaad),' Cosby remembers. After Cosy
informed him that the Cosby Show had been off the air for a year, it's said
that Townsend, who directed the film, threatened to fire Cosby from the job,
but the producers wouldn't let it happen because without Cosby, the film was
sure to crasy and burn. When Jones and Cosby were told of Townsend's death,
they both bowed their heads and weeped openly. Not because of Townsend's
death, but because they had taken part in such a low quality film.
Townsend had a brief stint in '96-'97 with heroin, but decided that it just
wasn't the same as his beloved firewater. He has spent the past five years
being a regular member at Alcoholics Anonymous, but has never abandoned his
life as an alcoholic.
Townsend's addiction finally caught up with him early Thursday morning as he
came stumbling out of a bar at 3:45 am. He was walking down the street to
his inner-city tenemant housing, and out of the corner of his eye caught
what appeared to be a couple of gang-members assaulting a group of young
women. Townsend, completely intoxicated, wasted no time in changing into
his Meteor Man gear (which was never bought at auction) and running towards
what he believed to be members of the gang 'The Golden Lords.' He figured
the Lords were causing havoc once again in his nice clean city. When he
eventually caught up to the assailants, they turned out to not be the hated
gang that he destroyed while playing in his movie as the crime fighting
super-hero, but some mothers ushering their adolescent sons home from a
basketball game from the nearby YMCA. However, this didn't stop him.
Seeing that the youths had on baskeball jerseys that said 'Our Lady of
Saints Lords' (obviously the name of a catholic church league basketball
team), Townsend ripped the kids away from their mothers, and proceeded to
beat each one to a bloody pulp. After he was finished, blood and
non-pubescent boys scattered the hard paved alley. He told the women that
they were safe from the Lords. The mothers, distressed at seeing a grown
man in a superhero costume, started screaming for help, not only for
themselves, but for their young boys who were beaten to the ground.
Townsend, realizing his mistake, took off towards the street where he could
easily escape. Rather than waiting for the cross-walk sign, he decided to
just use Meteor Man's power of flight, and take off up over the nearest
building. Of course, the real life Robert Townsend can't fly, and he ended
up diving out into the street where he was immediately crushed and killed by
a car of gang members who were just about to make a hit on a nearby rival
gang. At 3:57 in the AM, on Thursday, November 21st, the Meteor Man was
dead. However, so we don't end up on a bad note, the car carrying the gang
members eventually crashed and blew up due to the tremendous blow from
Townsend's body.
Robert Townsend, while being an alcoholic for much of his life, always tried
to do the right thing, and never forgot his roots as a true super-hero.
Even though he chose the wrong pah in life, and the end results were tragic;
whereever he is now, he is no doubt very proud of his accomplishments on and
off the screen. We too should be very proud of Robert and what he did with
his life. There surely will never be another Meteor Man. At least we hope
not.
- Styles
R.I.P. Robert Townsend
