He says/she says: on shopping
By Chris King

Shopping: the dreaded eight letter word. While some men claim to utterly dread going shopping, I have this hunch that a lot of guys are more indifferent to the experience than anything. At least that's where I am. I mean, if you asked me my opinion on the subject, I'd probably be like, "Uhh…shopping? I don't know, I don't really go shopping all that much, and when I do, you know, I just…buy stuff."

In general, I shop when I have to shop. It takes too much effort to go at any other time. It seems to me to be unnecessary to shop when you don't have to, and especially to shop when you know you're not going to buy anything. I mean, what's the point? When possible, I try to shop by myself, because for one thing, I am the only one who knows what I am looking for. If you go shopping with someone else, you always have to cater to what they are looking for, and how much time they want to spend in the mall.

Shopping with girls is, well, painful. It hurts. I suppose one could liken it to running a marathon. You run up and down the mall, in and out of weird little shops and back and forth from department store to department store. And what are we buying? Who knows? I don't think she even knows. The only good thing I can think of about shopping with girls is the eating. Shopping always includes eating when it comes to girls. Whether it is at the food court or the Olive Garden or wherever, there is some reward that comes for putting up with all the antics of the female shopper.

As I said before, I usually like to shop alone. However, shopping with other people is fine by me as long as they adhere to a few conditions. First, they have to be aware of the time, and not spend too much time in any one store. They should have good taste, and be able to helpfully advise me in my purchases. They should know what to buy, and where to buy it. They should be able to have fun, but not horseplay. And finally, a good shopping buddy would have a good overall attitude, and be easy to work with. Is that too much to ask for?

By Rachel Smith

Shopping: a woman's favorite pastime. No, that is not the dictionary definition, although it could pass as one. Sure, there are guys who don't mind shopping, but very few will make a day of it. Really, a lady's natural instinct to shop is a good thing. I think ladies are often falsely accused for wanting a credit card just to buy another pair of shoes. It's not like that at all. Shopping takes skills. Have you ever noticed that the minute a guy walks into the mall his energy is completely drained? Yet he can play a basketball game for hours and never tire. A woman, on the other hand, has enough stamina to do both. She can spend an afternoon shopping and still be able to participate in an evening of intramural basketball.

I always enjoy taking my older brother, Mike, to Wal-Mart. He hates the place. There were seven kids in my family growing up, so when Mom said, "Let's go to Wal-Mart and buy school clothes," I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Of course, Mom had to work hard, making sure everyone got the same number of pants, shirts and shoes as the other siblings. Unfortunately, those long hours of shopping didn't do Mike any justice. To this day, he claims that he becomes physically sick when he walks into a Wal-Mart. I suppose if I had been him, forced to wait while my Mom found matching hair ties, barrettes, socks and jewelry for all three of my sisters, I would feel a little queasy myself. So don't worry ladies-if your man is impatient when shopping, it's nothing against you. More than likely, he is just a Wal-Mart shopping victim.

Despite the fact that I am a girl and I like to shop, I have to admit that as I get older, my desire to hunt out all the best clothing stores fades. In fact, my shopping time has dwindled drastically from five hours to two at the most. You'd think I was a guy shopping for a baseball hat or something! But I guarantee you that if faced with that situation, I will find the best baseball hat for the lowest price. And while I'm on that subject, what is it with guys and their baseball hats? They don't really shade that much sun, but they wear them for years! I've seen guys with hats that are faded, torn and so decayed by time they could practically be dissolved in water. Their hat is their best bud, you know. Women may like to shop, but at least we don't marry our clothes.

If I had to choose an ideal shopping partner, I would have to pick my sister or my mother, because they were there with me in the good old Wal-Mart days. I would prefer to be with them when I am in a mad rush to find the perfect outfit for a special occasion. Frankly, if you haven't experienced going to the mall an hour before it closes, finding the very thing you need, paying for it as the registers are being shut down, and being the last person to walk out of the mall, then I just don't think you could cut it.

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