Yeah I'm a Fuck Up

Yeah.....as u can see from the title.....im a fuck up. i fuck everything up. i mess up all day at work.....then i get online and hurt the only girl i truly love. why do i do this? what is in my head that makes me fuck everything good in my life. i got upset cause Jen told me not to say i love her and i put something about it in my journal and now shes all mad at me cause she thinks im making things sound worse than they are so i get sympathy. thats not it at all.....i just got dumped by the girl i love and now i cant even say i love her anymore cause it makes her uncomfortable. thats bullshit but there's nothin i can do. this hurts and i need somewhere to vent but shes so sensitive about shit like that. it seems i always piss someone off that i care about. im either too depressive or too boring or just not right for that person.....it sucks. i hate my life.....why do things always gotta be like this with me? why do i have to fuck everything up all the time? why me?