The Official Loss My Only Love

Well its now official i guess. Me and Jen are over. This hurts so bad right now. I hate the thought of losing her or of her dating another guy. i cant handle that. if she tells me shes dating someone i'm gonna block her. thats gonna hurt way too much. but i know its gonna happen. i cant expect a girl like jen to sit around and wait until she loves me again. So i guess we're just gonna be friends which is ok.....i cant lose her as a friend.....but everytime i see her online im gonna hurt and it's gonna take a while to get over it. thats never gonna happen cause i love her too much. now she dont want me to tell her i love her anymore. that totally sucks cause i like people to know how i feel. but shes not comfortable with it. so i've gotta remind myself not to say it.....not to hit on her.....all that stuff. this is gonna be very hard because she means the world to me and i hate not being with her. but i guess the best way to get over it is to move on.....so i think im gonna give katy at work a chance. she's asked me out a few times but because of my love for jen i turned her down. maybe shit'll work with me and katy.....maybe me and jen will fall deeper in love because of this. i hope its the latter cause i want to be with jen more than anything. but i cant change destiny and if its meant to be it will be. so my depression begins and maybe it'll end in a month or so.