In this hard, cold, cruel world, too often a poor, unsuspecting adolescent girl's self-confidence and self-worth is shattered when she is confronted with the fact that she can't lose an extra ten pounds. Some people laugh at her... they ridicule her and shove her face in her blubber like one might put a dog's face to it's own excrement when it shits on the floor--to train it. Even worse, liberal femi-nazis stoop so low as to tell the girl to be happy with herself, she doesn't need to lose weight. BULL SHIT. I'm here to show you my weight loss system that's guarenteed to work EVERY TIME.
Following my strict regiment, you should be weight free INSTANTLY.
1)Take off that backpack. Most can carry up to seven pounds of weight, which yr back is not too thrilled about. Lose the load, and yr back will thank you.
2)Wear lighter shoes. While I'm not a big fan of endorsing companies (especially ones that have moved their factories to Mexico...) I recommend Converse. They feel like Moccasins. Even better, get a pair of REAL moccasins, and you'll feel like your feet are full of feathers.
3)Wear less clothing. Hell, just go naked.
4)Dance more. Especially at Sleater-Kinney shows. Dancing makes you feel like you're floating.
5)Fall in love Get the phrase "Cloud Nine..." You always feel floaty and spacy when yr in love, and kissing makes you feel giddy, and happy. This is my favorite step.
Weight Loss System Guarenteed to Work...NOW!!!
