October 31, 2003

Just in time for Halloween, Alternet brings us some scary news stories that should make your hair stand on end more than any slasher flick. The Bush administration is apparently choosing not to do anything to protect the nations vulnerable chemical factories against terrorist plots, leaving potentially millions of people vulnerable to toxic gas exposure should such an attack occur. Thanks, Georgie, nice to know you're looking out for your citizens' best interests! The Bush administration is also behind a gross abuse of power in it's unwarranted, and IMHO, completely unconstitutional Justice Dept. prosecution of Greenpeace in response to a peaceful protest conducted by some of its members. According to Alternet, "last year, two Greenpeace activists climbed aboard a ship carrying Amazon mahogany wood. They held a banner that said 'President Bush: Stop Illegal Logging.'" Greenpeace's ship, MV Esperanza, is currently anchored miles offshore of Miami; Miami's port is refusing to allow it entry because of the federal prosecution. So, instead of stocking up on supplies and educating the public about the destruction of Brazilian rainforests, the ship is stuck in limbo offshore because George Bush is a spoiled, hypersensitive brat. Seriously, I think he's the most thin-skinned President we've ever had; anyone who questions his policies has their patriotism questioned, and if you dare to aim a protest at him, he has his cronies in the Justice Dept bring you up on charges. Speaking of which, Holly Hand at the Street News Service wrote an amusing letter to leave in her home for any Federal agents that may decide, on a whim, to search her home without notice or a warrant (which they apparently can do, thanks to the new USA Patriot Act). It's hilarious!

Quote for the Day: "I think it would be a good idea."--Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization

Scary Quote for the Day: "When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."--Ann Coulter

October 30, 2003

Just for fun...
The Ultimate Halloween Party Soundtrack

1. "Mother"--Danzig
2. "VooDoo"--Godsmack
3. "Dragula"--Rob Zombie
4. "Ironman"--Black Sabbath
5. "Enter Sandman"--Metallica
6. "Symphony of Destruction"--Megadeth
7. "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor"--Drowning Pool
8. "Closer"--Nine Inch Nails
9. "Feed My Frankenstein"--Alice Cooper
10. "Sober"--Tool
11. "Iron Head"--Rob Zombie featuring Ozzy Osbourne
12. "Killing in the Name"--Rage Against the Machine
13. "When Worlds Collide"--Powerman 5000
14. "Living Dead Girl"--Rob Zombie
15. "Space Lord"--Monster Magnet
16. "Beautiful People"--Marilyn Manson
17. "Head Like a Hole"--Nine Inch Nails
18. "No More Tears"--Ozzy Osbourne
19. "Bad Religion"--Godsmack
20. "Harvester of Sorrow"--Metallica

Quote for the Day: "What the American people are going to see, should I get the nomination, is a Democrat who is not afraid to be a Democrat again."--Howard Dean

Idiotic Quote for the Day"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."--Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

October 17, 2003

Last weekend I bought Al Franken and Michael Moore's new books, "Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right" and "Dude, Where's My Country?" respectively. I'm currently reading Franken's book, which is excellent so far. For you Michael Moore fans out there, he also has an article in the October 30th issue of Rolling Stone magazine about George W. Bush's connections with Osama Bin Ladin and the Saudi's. I'll admit I haven't read it yet, but I'm looking forward to it. Also, he will be speaking at Eastern Michigan University's Convocation Center on Friday, October 31st, at 7 pm. The event is free to the public, and will be followed by a booksigning.

Speaking of Fox News, a new study has shown that regular viewers of Fox News Channel are more likely to be misinformed about the war in Iraq than people who get their news from other sources. Somehow, I'm not that surprised, given some of their employees' propensities to lie (*cough* Bill O'Reilly *cough*).

Quote for the Day: "We all need some therapy, because someone came along and said that liberal means 'soft on crime. Soft on drugs. Soft on communism. Soft on defense. And we're gonna tax you back to the stone age because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to.' And instead of saying, 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave-it-to-Beaver-trip-back-to-the-fifties!' we cowered in the corner and said, 'Please, don't hurt me.' No more."--Bruno Gianelli, President Bartlett's campaign manager on "The West Wing," (season 3).

Idiotic Quote for the Day: On Islamic extremists: "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." -- Right Wing Wacko Barbie, er, I mean, Ann Coulter

October 9, 2003

Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than
Republican

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This week's candidate for the Stella Awards, the mother of a man who killed several co-workers before turning the gun on himself, wants worker's compensation for his death, because it happened at work. Seriously, is no one responsible for their own actions anymore? In other news, the House of Representatives has voted to scrap a law that requires wounded soldiers to pay for their own meals while recovering from their wounds. Who says Congressmen don't care about the little guy? Finally, the Cavern nightclub in Liverpool, England, where the Beatles began their career, is slated to become a chain, ala the Hard Rock Cafe. The site draws hundreds of thousands of Beatles pilgrims per year, but somehow I don't think a copycat club in, say, Florida would have quite the same value; if the Beatles never set foot on that site, what would be the point?

Quote for the Day: "It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."--Mahatma Gandhi

Idiotic Quote for the Day: "I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."--George Bush (Sr.--obviously the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!)

Website of the Day: The Whitehouse.org parody site, which is made to look like an official Whitehouse press website, features hilarious press releases, fake ads, etc. I especially like the Homeland Security Alert codes, ranging from Stupor (green) to Chaos (red).

October 7, 2003

In the bizarre news story of the day, a teacher in Morocco throws two pupils out the window. Damn, and I thought my teachers were strict!

David Letterman's Top Ten List from the other night:

Top Ten Items On Rush Limbaugh's To-Do List
10. Apologize for racist remarks by explaining he was high on illegal painkillers
9. Pat down friends and family to see who's wearing a wire
8. Announce his candidacy for governor of California
7. End pill addiction -- get back to sandwich addiction
6. Search desperately for some way to blame the Clintons
5. Make moves on soon-to-be-single Halle Berry
4. Tell Donovan McNabb derogatory remarks were part of new season of "'d"
3. Brunch with Robert Downey Jr.
2. Dinner with Trent Lott
1. Check job listings for pompous blowhard

Quotes for the Day: Since we're all probably sick to death of hearing about that election out west, I thought the following political quotes seemed appropriate:

"Anyone who is capable of getting himself into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job."--Douglas Adams

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."--Ronald Reagan

"Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed."--Mao Tse-Tung

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'."--Larry Hardiman

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."--Henry Cate VII

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."--Ernest Benn

"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything."--Frank Dane

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."--Nikita Khrushchev

"I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'"--Oscar Levant

"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."--Henry Kissinger

"Suppose you were an idiot. Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."--Mark Twain

Idiotic Quotes for the Day:
"Inbreeding is how we get championship horses."--Carl Gunter, Louisiana state representative, explaining why he was fighting a proposed antiabortion bill that allowed abortion in cases of incest.

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."--Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman (Usually the driver??? What kind of f*cked up Stephen King cars do they have in England, anyway?)

"SUPREME COURT REULES THAT MURDERERS SHALL NOT BE ELECTROCUTED TWICE FOR THE SAME CRIME."--Cleveland Daily News, Headline (Well, I should hope not--talk about the proverbial beating a dead horse!)

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