"Journal"
In Loving Memory of
Alberta Batease Haskins,
my mother, who died at
age 39 of breast cancer.
Feb 14, 2002 Discovered by accident lump in
upper right of right breast
Feb 15, 2002 Called my GYN for an appointment.
Feb 25, 2002 Manual exam by my GYN, lump confirmed.
Referred to surgeon.
Feb 28, 2002 Mammogram both breasts, sonogram right
breast, chest xray.
Mar 06, 2002 Surgeon confirms its breast cancer.
Size of lump 3 centimeters. Stage 2.
Mar 07, 2002 Pre-op bloodwork, and physical by my
GP for ok for surgery.
Mar 12, 2002 Lumpectomy at 10:00 a.m., home by
1:30 p.m.
Mar 22, 2002 Surgeon confirms its cancer, aggressive
rather than hormonal.
Did not get a clean perimeter from dye
test, referred to Oncologist.
Mar 26, 2002 Initial mtg with Oncologist to discuss
options for further surgery. Cat scan
scheduled. Appointment with another
surgeon made.
Apr 04, 2002 Visiting nurse took more blood work, left
lab slips and drinks for scan.
Apr 08, 2002 My 59th birthday, cat scan at a different
hospital. And the surprise of my life
when an old friend from 42 years ago called
the hospital to cheer me on. *Smiling*
Apr 16, 2002 Met new surgeon, discussed options, surgery
scheduled for modified radical. Results of
cat scan "normal", but taking whole breast
and nodes under arm.
Apr 23, 2002 Hospital for Pre-Op tests, chest x-ray,
blood work, EKG and orientation.
Apr 29, 2002 Note from Lorrie's Daughter-
I got home at 7:00 pm.
Lorrie went in surgery and she did well
The surgery took about an hour and a half.
Lorrie is sore , but that is to be expected.
Lorrie is all ok and doing well.
Thank God she is ok .
The Dr said she might be home tomorrow
I want to thank you for all your support and prayers.
Apr 30, 2002 Note from Lorrie's Daughter-
Lorrie is doing good.She is sore, but they
are giving her meds to ease the pain.If she
is doing better today then she might be home tomorrow.
I will keep you all up dated .
May 01, 2002 Note from Lorrie's Daughter-
My mom is suposed to come home today. She is tired
and sore. I will let you all know when she is home.
I also will let you know how she is doing once she
is home. I will be going to her house and keeping
in touch with her on the phone daily. I will keep
you all updated.
May 02, 2002 Yes I am home, in much pain. They took the zip
out of me. But they think they got it all. Hard
to type so this is short. Have developed blisters
across my back from bandage. Apparently I am allergic
or have delicate skin.
I rec'd another surprise when an old school chum of 41 years
ago showed up at the hospital. She and I spent a couple of
hours "catching up" and it was grand to see her again.
May 07, 2002 The dr took the drain out today. The report
on the biopsy showed the perimeter of the
breast wall is clean. The dr got all of
the cancer. Out of 27 nodes removed from
under the arm, one showed cancer cells. The
staples come out next week, at which time
scheduling for chemo therapy begins.
May 08, 2002 Today is my "operation blues" day.
Letting the tears flow. I have so
many wonderful friends who send me
messages and flowers and cards to
cheer me up. But when I cry, which
is not often, I am alone with no one
to hold me. Today is such a day. And
when I think of all the people out there
who are sick or lonely with no one to
hold them, I cry even harder. Tomorrow
is a special day for me and will probably
cry the whole day away.
May 09, 2002 I spent most of last evening in the ER.
It seems I have a possible blood clot in
my right thigh, and a culture was taken
from my incision area as it looks infected.
They took blood, gave me blood thinners,
one was a shot in the tummy and I got another
chest x-ray. This morning I am off to the
hospital again for another tummy needle and
more blood work. Happy 4th Anniversary to
Brucefan. Four years ago today I and my
daughter were driving north for a little
adventure. I will add more as I learn more.
Update on May 09, 2002
Some test results are back in. The
culture shows gram infection in the
surgical wound. I also have DVT...
(deep vein thrombosis) This means
shots of Lovenox in the tummy twice
a day and of course many blood tests.
I am also on antibotics and am
scheduled for a doplar tomorrow on
the right thigh.
May 10, 2002 Well lets see, first I went to my home
town hospital to have blood drawn and
Lovenox injected into my tummy. Then
I went to a southern Vermont Hospital to
have a deeper Venuous Doppler taken and
this time the spelling is closer. I have
been poked, prodded, stabbed and pained
enough for one day. I am taking a nap!!!
May 14, 2002 Today I had to see the surgeon to have
the staples removed. He also had to
debride the area. My daughter, who is
always with me, was helpful to the dr by
holding my arm up, giving the dr room to
work. First she turned white, then white
with a green hue, and then she fainted.
So they had her in one room working with
her, while I was in another. Its been
quite the day. I see the dr again in 2 wks.
He put me on Augmentin. The healing process
is going to take a long time.
May 23, 2001 Saw my regular doctor today, who is keeping
an eye on my right thigh. She found a sore
spot in my liver and can see its swollen with
a naked eye. So she ordered lots of blood
work. I see my surgeon next Tues. and there
is more dead tissue to be cut away. My
oncologist is anxious to start chemo on me,
but we have to wait until the wound is healed
more before chemo begins.
May 28, 2002 I saw my surgeon today. The incision
under the arm is all healed, the diagonal
incision from arm to breast area is almost
healed and the deep hole is filling in
nicely. He gave the ok to start chemo.
See him again in 2 weeks.
June 05, 2002 Today I saw the oncologist. He said I cannot start
chemo for 3 more weeks because the surgery has
to heal more, yet my surgeon gave the ok to start.
There will be two different chemo programs to choose
from. One is a 6-month program and the other is a
9-week program. Before he decides which is best
for me, I have to have an echo cardiogram, because
the latter treatment is a little rough on the heart. He
did say he was surprised that more nodes were not
involved and considered it a plus for me. However,
he also reminded me there are no guarantees with
cancer. No radiation is needed because the breast
wall is clean.
June 06, 2002 I saw my GP today to follow up on my
leg. She has ordered x-rays. She also
decided to lecture me about getting more
rest. All my vitals indicated my body
was exhausted and I need more rest with
an open wound. I dont sleep well and
taking naps isnt always possible when
one is responsible for an elderly husband
in first stages of alzheimers and two
mentally challenged live-ins that I take
care of. However, I will try to get
the required naps in. I see her again in
a month. She made an appointment for me
to see an orthopedic doctor concerning
my leg. Gosh, no wonder I am tired, I
have to see doctors all the time....grrrr!
June 09, 2002 Well today I am uneasy. Restless I guess
a being cooped up in the house. Wish a
friend would come along and take me for
a Sunday afternoon ride. Speaking of friends,
I would like to make a comment. You know
all my lady friends have kept in contact with
me and cheer me on, but my men friends are
slowly disappearing one by one. That hurts.
I dont get the emails I did, I dont get the visits
I did and I am even being avoided on the "chat
room" I own on line. Gosh, now is the time
need those shoulders. Other ladies have told
me the same. Men disappear when something
like this happens. *Big Sigh*
June 11, 2002 I saw my surgeon today. The wound is healing
nicely. He had to cut off some more dead skin
and he put me back on antibiotics for precaution,
but all in all, things are going well...he gave me
permission to drive short distances. WOOHOO
Plattsburgh here I come...oh wait...darn, thats
not short.
June 19, 2001 I saw my oncologist today. Although he seems
to change his mind a lot, everything at the moment
is set up thus: Monday, I get an echocardiogram
at my hometown hospital, which will determine
which chemo treatment I will be having. Tuesday,
I will be going to GF, to the bigger hospital, to
see my surgeon for a checkup then on to a lab
to have a line pick inserted in my left arm.
Wednesday, (26th) I see the oncologist, to begin
my chemo. Friday (28th) my son graduates from
High School.
June 21, 2002 I saw the orthopedic doctor today about the
on-going acute pain in my upper right thigh.
It was treated at first and diagnosed as a
blood clot. For weeks I took lo-venox shots
I gave myself in my stomach. Now I find out
the pain in the muscle of my thigh is nerve
damage in my spine, a common malady of people
who are rolled in surgery. It will take 6 to
9 months to heal. He has scheduled me for
a catscan of my spine and x-rays of my spine
for next Thursday the 27th. Sighs, its down
right hard to keep smiling here!
June 25, 2002 Yesterday I had an echocardiogram. Today I went
to get my PICC line put in. My veins are hard to
find so the RNs had to give up (after sticking me)
and I was sent to x-ray where a doctor inserted the
line uses a sonogram technique to see where every-
thing was. Other than being exhausted, I am ok.
The PICC line insertion was almost painless....all I
felt was the pick of the needle with Lidacane.
If my echo is satisfactory, I get my first chemo
treatment tomorrow.
June 26, 2002 Today was my first chemo treatment.
They must have heard my knees knocking
for 3 miles. I am being given two kinds
of chemo...(1) Doxorubicin (Adriamycin, Adria)
and (2) Cytoxan (Cyclophosphamide).
One treatment every 3 weeks for 4 treatments.
So in 4 months treatments should be over.
The PICC line has to stay in my arm all this
time and I have to hope it doesnt get infected,
becuse if it does, then I have to get a new
line put in...and frankly I wouldnt look forward
to that. (Ugh) So one treatment today, next
treatment July 17th. I can expect to start
losing my hair in 10-12 days. I will know when
its going to happen as I shall experience a burning
sensation on forehead near hair line. I have
been given pills for nausea, and suppositories.
I have to drink 2 quarts of water daily so this
poison doesnt irritate the bladder. The chemo
treatment went well. I felt nothing. Took about
two hours.
July 03, 2002 My PICC line nurse was here and not happy.
I have developed a serious reaction to the
"see-thru" bandage covering the entry of the
line. Its extremely important this area not be
a source of infection, because the line goes
into my heart. They are now talking about
surgery again with a clavical port....and
removing the PICC line. So far I have refused.
Just as I refused the proceedure due last Thurs.
to have dye injected into my spine for a milogram.
Enough already!
July 08, 2002 Saw my GP today for a general checkup.
All vitals are doing good and I have
lost 15 pounds. That is one of few perks
with chemo.
July 09, 2002 I saw my surgeon today and I graduated. )
I dont have to see him again unless my nurses
report something unusual. The site is completely
filled in and only needs surface healing now, but
will be slow because of chemo. Monday I go
to the Cancer Boutique to be fitted for a wig,
if I wish, and or turbans and makeup. I dont
think I will opt for the wig. I also go for a fitting
of my prothesis.
July 19, 2002 I am two days late writing in my Journal. I had
my second round of chemo July 17th. This time
around I am very ill. Crying, vomiting, diarrhea,
and woe is me, no one comes to see me etc.
This is rough girls, please do your self exams and
regular mamograms. I am ready to give up at
this time and stop chemo. But I know I have to
bear it if I want the risk of recurrance lowered.
July 29, 2002 I thought I should say a few words about feelings.
If you are married then you have a husband to help
you get through this fight with breast cancer. In
my situation I am fighting alone. Oh, I have friends
who email me, send me cards and flowers, but at night
when the house is dark and quiet and I crawl into bed
alone and the tears of fear flow, its very difficult.
Once I have healed and the chemo treatments are over,
there will always be fear the rest of my life. Will
it come back? Will my other breast develope a lump?
Did an escaped cell survive chemo and is nested in my
bones or liver? I try to stay upbeat and think the
positive thoughts one is suppose to, but there are
dark scary moments when a pair of strong arms and a
warm heart would help. For the most part I am brave
or maybe I put on a brave front for family and friends,
but I would be less than honest if I didn't say I have
my down moments where I wonder if all this is worth it.
I think only another cancer patient can fully understand
the hard moments. Would you believe some of my friends
have even backed away from me during this time of trial.
August 28, 2002 Today was the last chemo treatment and the PICC
line came out of my arm. I havent spoken much about
the chemo treatments because everyone reacts differently.
I did have some trouble with vomiting, diarrhea and
general tiredness. However, my blood count and other
vitals held their own and did very well with chemo.
I will make this comment. Even though it was a great
relief to have that last treatment, it was also scary
too, as somehow chemo seems a safe haven. Treatment is
killing the disease and there is satisfaction and
security in that knowledge. Now that I wont be having
more chemo I started to panic....did it get it all....
did it work....will I be safe now....will it come back?
All questions and feelings that my doctor assured me was
perfectly normal. There are no answers. We can only go on
with our lives and live each day to its fullest.
November 8, 2002 Tues. I had a pap test done. Because my cervix was
of a suspicious color, the doctor took a nip for a biopsy and
I get results in 3 weeks. Today I had surgery on my face.
Three growths were removed and also sent for biopsy. So I
sit with 4 stitches in one area and 3 in another, thinking
"enough already"! To add to this, my incision from my
mastectomy has decided to open in 5...yup 5 little pinhole
places and drainage is coming out. So we are back to
packing that with sorbsan (seaweed) and hope for the best.
December 18, 2002 Wed. My pap test finally came back. It's normal
and all is well. Needless to say a great
relief for the holiday season.
We are still having trouble with my incision.
Because the doctor left a bubble of tissue
to be used in reconstruction should I want it
in the future, the incision is in the fold or
crease. Therefore it keeps warm and moist and
just doesnt want to completely heal. I may be
facing more surgery to remove the 'bubble" and
flatten the area out so the incision will get
air and heal. I will add details to the journal
as events happen. Right now I am just relieved
to have a good clean biopsy from the pap test.
Feb 25, 2007 Update: I am still cancer free.
I had some scares in December and January
and had to have a biopsy in two spots
on my remaining breast. And one biopsy
on a suspicious mass in my thyroid.
I was ready to roll up my sleeves and face
all this again but the good Lord above had
other plans. He doesn't want me yet. The
breast biopsies came back to be nothing more
than calcium deposits. The thyroid biopsy
is also benign and is the beginning of a
goiter that will be treated with medications.
The thyroid has gone crazy with lots of
nodules and is hyper-active. I am almost 64
now and I still keep a positive attitude and
a will to fight anything that should crop up.
I developed a problem called Fibromyalgia a
few months after my chemo was finished. I
had never heard of it until a friend of mine
got it and then myself. No one knows the pain
that goes with that. There is no cure. It
works with arthritis and it hits every muscle
in your body. Sometimes in one area and sometimes
in several areas at once. Sometimes it puts me
in bed for a couple of days. At all times I have
to take pain meds for it. Where are these new
diseases coming from? -Lorrie
