Someone Like Me Didn't
Like This Movie

By Teddy Durgin
I have this theory about cynical people. I think that deep down inside, the tougher the cynic, the more he or she really is a dreamer. I have several movie-geek friends who constantly bad-mouth every big-budget Hollywood movie that comes out. Inevitably, though, they end up going to see all of the new releases. They say it's to confirm their suspicions, but I think it's because they still believe. Then, when something like The Matrixor Toy Storycomes along and reaches past all of their little gripes and hang-ups, they become like these silly, rambling kids talking about how cool this scene was and how great that moment was.

Those who are overly pessimistic about finding true love are the same way. Oh, yeah. They'll tell you they have no interest in finding that someone special. They'll swear they're not looking. Then, when the possibility of romance crops up, they're making marriage plans on the first date like every other shiny, happy person.

Someone Like You captures cynics just right. It shows that most cynical people are really just a bunch of self-protecting pretenders. They put up emotional walls only to safeguard themselves from being hurt and disappointed. But the moment the possibility of real joy presents itself, they go pole-vaulting over those walls like Sergei Bubka going for the gold. Someone Like You gets this exactly right.

Unfortunately, it gets little else right. Read on.

Ashley Judd stars as Jane Goodale, a TV talk-show talent scout who has had disastrous luck with man. Then, one day, a new producer comes onboard. His name is Ray Brown (Greg Kinnear), and he's cute and funny and smart and perfect. Well, almost perfect. He has been in a relationship for three years, and now he's bored. Red flag, anyone? Against her better judgment, Jane hits the sheets with Ray. Soon, they're making plans to move in together. But no sooner does Ray break up with his girlfriend, then he also dumps Jane for fear of getting into another committed relationship.

Jane cries ... a lot (Judd seems to have gone to the Sally Struthers School of Bawling). She let the lease run out on her current apartment, and now she needs a place to stay. The promiscuous Eddie Alden (Hugh Jackman), another talent scout whose bed is rarely empty, steps in and offers her a place to stay. No strings attached. Jane agrees. As the weeks progress, Jane is able to observe both men. The weasly Ray wants her back. The womanizing Eddie just wants her to get more cynical like he is. She begins to develop a philosophy on the male animal. Fascinated by her discoveries, her best friend and magazine editor Liz (Maria Tomei) helps Jane publish a groundbreaking article under a pseudonym.

Now, here's my main problem with the film. Jane's philosophy is ridiculously obvious. Do you want to know what her big discovery is? Here it is, and brace yourself:

Good-looking men like to sleep with different women!

To that, I say ... well, DUH!!! Jane likens guys to cows. A male will only mate with a female once, she learns, then he will go onto the next cow. No longer does he have any use for old cow. He wants new cow. Even if old cow puts on a different scent or changes her appearance, the male still wants new cow.

The milk money's on the dresser, he's done with you, baby!

Jane and the other characters in the film treat this bit of knowledge like it is a lost revelation cast down from Nostradamus himself. It's hard to have a rooting interest in Jane because she's just not very bright. We know long before she does that the choices she is making are really bad. I understand that falling in love with the wrong person happens at least once every day in every city in every country. But to someone who is already on guard with her feelings, all sorts of sirens should have gone off in Jane's head the moment Ray talked about his three-year relationship that he was still in. She doesn't even insist that the guy break up with the woman before taking their own relationship to the next level, then the next level, then the next.

The fact that Jane's inane philosophy on men gets published, then becomes a pop culture phenomenon that leads to offers from Oprah and The Today Show is just too implausible for words. It would take at least a book to have that kind of impact. And on closer media scrutiny, Jane's alias would completely fall apart.

Someone Like You falls apart. It falls apart because it is nothing more than a series of cutesy missteps. The dialogue feels lifted from any one of a number of failed sitcoms like Caroline and the City, Suddenly Susan, and Veronica's Closet.Then, when Jane starts falling for Jackman's womanizer (whose really not a cold-hearted Romeo, but a love-starved wounded soul whose one true love recently dumped him), the film leaves the land of Must Flee TV and decelerates quickly into third-rate Nora Ephron territory.

The movie's best moments belong to Jackman, who has an easy, unforced chemistry with Judd (by contrast, Judd and Kinnear are like two puppy dogs bumping noses). But never once does it seem apparent that these two people should become romantically involved. Maybe X-Men is too fresh in my mind, but Jackman's
Eddie treats Jane much like Wolverine treated Anna Paquin's teen mutant. As a big brother and friend. I really didn't want to see Eddie and Jane get together at the end. I wanted to see them get strong together, with each emerging with a clearer understanding of the opposite sex. The more the plot grinds to its mechanical, cookie-cutter close, the further away from reality the story gets.

Based on a novel by Laura Zigman, this film was originally called Animal Husbandry. Then, the studio or whoever stepped in and gave it the rather plain, almost completely unmemorable title of Someone Like You. That is how I would describe the film: plain and unmemorable.

And it is a far cry from the kinds of film roles Ashley Judd used to pick. My favorite role of hers was one of her first, as the title character in Ruby in Paradise. Directed by Victor Nunez, that 1993 film was also about a young woman who gets involved with two men who are not exactly right for her. In the end, Ruby looks within herself and decides to go it alone. As the final credits roll, the audience is confident the character will be alright.

Can we honestly say the same thing about Jane at the end of this movie?