Reign of Fire: Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em

Reign of Fire has one of the funnier premises around. OK, funny only if you don't take it as seriously as the cast and crew do. The year is 2020, and most of the Earth has been wiped out by fire-breathing dragons resurrected from centuries of hibernation in 2002. Of course, a small, ragtag group of human survivors still clings to life, in this case amid the ruins of burned-out England (the countryside, no less).

Yeah, I know. Not funny. But stay with me.

Of course, as with any gigantic invasion or infestation movie, the survivors have to figure out a way to wipe out all of the creatures in one shot. Will it be bacteria? Or darkness? Or old Creed albums played simultaneously over short wave radio? No, none of those. We learn that all of the dragons that have been flying around, living off ash, and incinerating what's left of civilization are almost all ... female! They breed by laying eggs all over the planet, which a single male dragon--the king--fertilizes. The humans, led by an isolationist Brit named Quinn (Christian Bale) and a gung-ho U.S. marine named Van Zan (Matthew McConaughey), figure that if they can find and kill the male, the rest of the dragons will quickly die off because there ain't much in the way of food supply left.

There is this classic moment, after one of several intense dragon attacks, when someone asks, "Could you tell if it was the male?" To which, Quinn replies, "I don't know. I didn't have to time to check the plumbing!"

I felt like yelling, "Uh, hello! There is ONE male dragon fertilizing EVERY female dragon's eggs on the planet?! Look for the one with the big, contented smile on his face! Look for the one lying spent in a field somewhere, cigarette dangling from his mouth and a remote control in one hand!" No wonder the poor beast has to hibernate for centuries at a time, waiting for each ice age to pass! He deserves his rest. Leave the poor guy alone.

Then, and not to be crass here, I started to marvel at this one male dragon's ... uh, production. Actually, I both envied and pitied the dragon. Most guys have issues satisfying just one woman. This poor beastie has to service an entire female race. And the fact that the creature could only conceive girls had to be frustrating. No one to carry on the family name. No one to toss the football around with, or go to Stallone movies with.

OK, I digress. I'm not being fair to Reign of Fire. This Rob Bowman-directed action flick might be a movie you can laugh at and nitpick on the car ride home. But when it's on the screen, it is a pretty darn good B movie, mixing in elements of The Road Warrior and Dragonslayer and several other movies.

The cast is made up of some of my favorite cool people. After being so creepy in Frailty earlier this year, McConaughey gets to really chew the scenery as the hulking Van Zan. Seriously, the guy pumped up for this role like Nic Cage did for Kiss of Death a few years back. The guy looks like he's been drinking magic milk shakes with Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco. But his character has a point. Fight back, just don't lay low and wait for the dragons to go into hiding again.

That is what Quinn wants, and Bale is quietly touching as the film's de facto leading man. Quinn is the leader of the remote British outpost of survivors, who have walled themselves up in an old castle and developed a system of survival. Quinn was there when the first dragon was unearthed 18 years earlier. It killed his mother. Over the years, he has developed a kinship with the people under his care. He is a combination father figure, spiritual leader, teacher, and field commander. He and his best friend even reenact old movies and pass them off as legend to the children survivors (which leads to a GREAT Star Wars gag). The tension between Quinn and the newly arrived Van Zan and his soldiers gives the film it's dramatic texture, because both men are right and both are wrong. The tension comes from whether or not they can find middle ground and save what's left of the world.

The beautiful Swedish actress Isabella Scorupco is also in the film as Alex, essentially the Post-Apocalyptic Babe With the Cute Dirt Smudges on Her Face Placed Just So. Alex flies one of the only helicopters left in existence (where she found the fuel, I'll never know), and is a valuable member of Van Zan's strike team. Of course, Quinn falls for her and this leads him to make fateful choices late in the film.

My main criticism of Reign of Fire is that I truly wish more money had been pumped into the budget. I wish some of the money spent on Windtalkers and Bad Company could have been applied to this film, because the potential was there to make a truly great sci-fi action flick. The money constraints are most apparent in a disappointingly quick opening montage sequence that shows how one by one, the cities of the world fell as the dragons multiplied faster than the various militaries could launch weapons at them. And anyone looking for a movie with wall-to-wall dragon action in it will probably be disappointed. Again, not enough money (although the CGI dragons are mostly believable).

Still, I liked this movie. I liked it more for what is than what it isn't. Bowman maintains a consistently grim tone throughout, and the four main dragon attacks are appropriately intense and action-packed. I do wish the film had been a bit scarier. The most frightening thing is the opening credits, which reveal the movie had NINE producers and THREE screenwriters. But there is an outstanding sequence involving Marine parachuters trying to net a dragon in mid-air. And the climax, which pits the three main characters against the gigantic male dragon amid the ruins of London, recalls the bombed-out village battle in Saving Private Ryan, crossed with Val Kilmer going one-on-one with the two-headed dragon in Willow. And, I thought, there was real tension as to who if any of the trio would survive.

Will the movie catch fire and reign at this week's box office? Hmmm, difficult to say. Talk about a battle! In the end, I think slaying Will Smith, Tom Hanks, and Tom Cruise may be Fire's biggest test.

Reign of Fire is rated PG-13 for intense action violence. Surprisingly, there are no really gross sequences of people on fire in this film. The ones that do get barbecued get cooked pretty quick. Afterward, there's not enough left of them to put in an ashtray. Christian Bale also rides a horse in the film, and I am happy to say the pony survives unscathed.