Josiah Matthew:
The story of our miscarriage
Shortly after our first child, we found out that we were going to have another baby. We were a little concerned but happy. Everything was going fine and I felt just great (other than a little tiredness that comes with pregnancy). I had been to the doctor the first couple of months and everything seemed fine.
Then, when I was sixteen weeks along I went in for a check-up. They couldn't find a heartbeat. The nurse knew that our first son liked to hide from her so she thought this one was being stubborn too. She called a doctor in and said, "We'll find it".
This was not the case. I was used to going alone to the doctor because my husband often had to work and he couldn't get off just to go to every visit. So there I was with a 6 month old waiting to hear what the doctor had to say.
She told me she wanted to do an ultrasound; that maybe we could find the heartbeat with that.
However, after two hours of waiting in the office scared that our baby had died the news came. The baby had passed away in the womb. According to the doctor, it had been dead for quite some time and I didn't not realize it. "Usually," she said "a woman would miscarry by now". Her only two suggestions were to have a D & C (which to me is too much like an abortion) or to go in and induce me to keep me from hemorraging.
I went home to tell my husband and we cried together. This baby may have been a surprise but we still wanted it.
We went in to the hospital to deliver this child knowing that we would never get to hear its first cry. I was devastated.
While we were in the hospital our church showered us with prayers and people called. There were times when I could not talk to anyone due to the tears that I shed for my child.
Shortly before or after midnight, ( I'm not sure which), I delivered the baby.
It was a boy. We had decided that we wanted to name our next boy Josiah. So we did, Josiah Matthew was his name.
After I went home, I cried almost day and night. Many times people would criticize me saying "It's time to get over it".
This just made me angry. One day I broke down in front of my husband, who did not know that I was still very upset.
In the end the Lord gave me the peace I needed to get through this ordeal. To some it doesn't seem like much because now people abort their babies like nothing is wrong.
I love our children. I am a mother of three...Two down here and one in heaven.
If you are going through a rough time like this remember, God cares about you and he will give you peace if you will just trust him to do so.
If you are a Christian...give your hurt to him and let him heal your heart.
If you are not a Christian, trust him today and he will help heal the pain that you are going through.
Lastly, If you have had an abortion, God will forgive, you just have to ask and believe.
There is a book I highly recommend which God used to help me during our time of loss. It is written by Mrs. Bob (Terry) Leib. The name of this book is "Sorrow". She is also a very dear friend of mine. Ordering info Sorrow book
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