Wednesday March 6th
I've spent most of the morning setting up this new page on Angelfire. I haven't yet reached the more refined type stuff such as adding pictures, animations etc but will hopefully practise that at the weekend.
Life has been busy as usual, and tomorrow I am off for a couple of days more babysitting. Bec has put her name down for family daycare and has been advised to ring them a couple of times a week to let them know she is still interested. She insisted on giving me some money last week and wouldn't take no for an answer. I'm going to a conference at Macquarie Uni in late May, so will save it up for a splurge at the Uni co-op bookshop. I've been a member of the bookshop since I first went to Uni many years ago. My membership then cost me one pound Australian, and dividends on purchases were distributed in May. These days, a discount is given on the price which isn't quite as pleasant as the lump sum cheque used to be to an impoverished student.
Weightwise has not been an absolute disaster, but certainly not as good as several weeks ago. I think running between two houses and being extra busy at home is somewhat unsettling. I must do some rethinking of my position. After all, it is a matter of choice. No one sits and feeds me what I am eating. I don't even do that for my 18 month old granddaughter now
Have just finished playing around with this site for the day. Think I have fixed the broken link from fron page to the journal. Not too sure what happened, but it seems to be working now. Husband is away at Gilgandra(!!) all weekend, so I will have some quiet time to spend on this. After my walk of course!
Thursday March 7th
A very early start this morning. I am one of those people who always wake up to see if it is time for the alarm to go off! My husband wakes early without an alarm, so I asked him to make sure I was up by 6:00 this morning in time to get up here by 8:00. So what happened after I had told myself that I wouldn't be late? I woke up numerous times to see what time it was. Just before 4:00 I was awake and couldn't go back to sleep again. I think that if this babysitting goes on, then I will have to revert to coming up here the night before. Husband doesn't like it, but that way I get a full night's sleep, which I need before minding her. As winter comes on, it is getting darker later in the morning now, although that will be fixed for a while when daylight saving ends this month. The sunrise this morning was beautiful here, pink and mauve clouds reflecting the sunshine. The gum trees up here are lovely. We have had so much rain that they are clean and healthy looking and the sun is shining on the new growth from the rain.
Little madam is asleep or at least in bed. She's like her father used to be. She has to have at least six books in her cot for her to read as she falls asleep and when she wakes up. I can see the new things she has learnt even in the few days since I last saw her. After getting a hug from her, I said,"you're a sweetie." Quite appropriately she replied,"I know!" I think that was more good luck than good management, but it was so funny to hear.
I know I said that I am the only person responsible for what I eat. I have to make a slight amendment to that. That's a difficult principle to follow when an 18 months old toddler insists on sharing her biscuit with grandma and pushes it into the mouth. At least it was only half a cruskit.
Saturday, March 8th
I'm back home again to a very quiet house this weekend. Husband is away at Gilgandra for the weekend and I don't expect him back till some time on Sunday night. His trip is probably at least five hours plus any extra for bad weather and comfort stops. So things are quiet here. I have few plans other than playing with this journal and testing out a few things.
When I left Hornsby last night, it had just stopped raining after a sudden heavy downpour. I was dropped at the station and caught a train almost immediately. One stop from home, the heavens opened again. I had misjudged the carriage to get into, as the train had only four carriages instead of the normal eight. On arriving at my station the rain was just bucketing down and I was a long way from the station steps. There was little to do except make a run for it. Up the stairs, across the road and down towards home. Fortunately, I live close to the station. Not close enough, last night. The gutters were running two metres wide and ankle deep and I just had to cross them. By the time I reached home, I was saturated. I had taken my glasses off and put them in my bag, so at least I could sort of see where I was going. My hair was plastered to my head and water was running down my neck. My T-shirt was soaked and clung to me tightly. My new denim skirt was dripping onto the floor. NOT a pleasant sight. Into a hot shower and then my night clothes. I was a bit uneasy about doing this. Often when I have done this before, I have had unexpected visitors arrive. I was lucky last night, no-one came.
One good thing... All the way home in the train, I had been fighting myself about buying a small pizza for dinner at the local pizzeria 200 metres from home. First I would have one, then talk myself out of it. I was so wet by the time I passed Mario's that there was no way I would consider going in there. The smell as I passed his shop was very enticing and followed me home. No WW points, I hope, for just smelling!
Sunday,9th March
Another quiet grey day. I went out to church this morning, but otherwise my weekend has been very quiet and restful. Some exercise this morning,walking to and from church. Perhaps not really "walking" as I do when I actually say I am going for a walk. It was fairly humid, and I didn't have my joggers on. At least I was moving. On the way back I bought a small loaf of sourdough bread for my lunch. I actually weighed it, so I could estimate points. 7/whole loaf. I had about half of it sliced with some tomato and smoked salmon. Really nice. I love sourdough bread, but have never been quite game enough to attempt it myself. Now the weather is not quite so hot, I might get around to it. The really hot weather is not good for the sourdough starter.
My mother and sister are going away for the week and asked me if I would like to go out and keep Axl company for a couple of days. Axl is my niece's aged boxer dog! Babysitting grandchildren is one thing, but dog sitting is another, I think. I couldn't even take him for a decent walk. He is quite old for a boxer, about ten, and cannot now walk too far at a time. Besides, I think there might be an uproar here at home if I were to do it.
Monday 11th March
I'm just back from Burwood where I went with Bec who inisted on buying my lunch. Mya was tired and nearly fell asleep in the stroller I keep at my house for emergencies. It's an old McLaren that has been all around Europe twice with my brother and his small son. The handles are a bit high for my comfort, but it's OK for use at a shopping centre where it is flat.
Went into Grace Bros which is usually a bit of a dead loss in Burwood- it's a new store and it's almost always empty when I go in. I must have been in the right place at the right time. I was able to buy a new top, good quality, my size and colour, marked down a couple of times from $45 to eventually $15. then a further 25% was taken off at the register. So I've bought a good quality piece of clothing for $11. Some of the time, you've just got to win.
I also went and ordered a cake for my husband's birthday party on Saturday. I'm sure he would rather have one that is dripping with layers of cream and icing and very gooey. However he has a very sweet tooth and I ordered a caramel mudcake. They're very sweet, and so I will not cut large slices. He knows something is happening, but doesn't know what. I've booked a party at the mini-golf centre near where I grew up. I've had good reports about the facility and most people seem to enjoy themselves there. He's turning 60! Unbelievable! Have I said that I am heaps and heaps and HEAPS younger?? I wish! Still, it won't be my turn for a good while yet. I know he wanted an enormous party in a hotel etc. but I just didn't feel up to it. Nor could I do it without his knowledge (and chequebook). On a much sadder note...A young friend of mine has just lost her baby. She was more than halfway through her second pregnancy. Apparently her own life would have been endangered had the baby gone to term and the baby also had spina bifida and a heart defect. How sad. From the outside, it's easy to say that this is for the best, but I would never say that to her. It might be true, but it's certainly not comforting or helpful. I think that eventually, time does take the sharpness off the grief, but there are always memories. In a few days it will be four years since my dad died, and while the grief is not so severe, there are many memories that come to the surface then. Thought I'd put this picture of the scales here to remind me of what this journal is supposed to be about.
Well. I've managed to put a .gif of my own choice just where I wanted it. Now I'm looking to align my text around it. Small biccies to many of you who have done this for ages, but not for me. "One small step for web designers, one giant step for Jan." I've also managed to play around with the image and resize it to my liking. So much I want to do and so little knowledge to do it with.
Wednesday evening, 13th March
It's been one of those days today. I haven't really felt like doing much and the weather has matched my mood. It's been grey and quite cool all day. I think it's because of a lack of sleep. I have basically been awake since about 3:00am this morning. Hope to sleep better tonight as I am off babysitting again tomorrow and Friday.
My friend Trish has resurrected her No More Pigging Out Journal. Have a look. Trish's journal was one of the first I read and I have always found it helpful.
Beautiful day today and I am sitting in my son's office at his home, looking down at a lovely bush valley, filled with gum trees which have shiny, healthy leaves after our weeks of rain. The sun is shining and the lorikeets and cockatoos are having a bit of a fight in one of the trees. Very noisy. There's a kookaburra sitting on the fence outside. I hope he doesn't find the young water dragon lizard that lives in the garden and likes to sun himself on a rock on days like this.
I've just put Mya down for a morning sleep. She definitely needs it. She's at the stage of beginning to have only one sleep a day and she's missed the afternoon sleep for the last two days. She's very cranky this morning, and I'm sure she's just tired. I'll put her down again this afternoon.
I'm tired too. I decided to take her for a walk yesterday afternoon after lunch. Put her in the stroller and headed off. I should have brought my walking shoes. I had Diana Ferrari slides on. I had to push the stroller up two massive hills to get to the road up the top. Not particularly long, but excessively steep. When we reached the through road, there was a long hill, not nearly as steep, but much longer and some of it had no footpath so I had to keep to the road. We finally reached the highway and I walked to the local shops. Probably the distance out is about 3 km each way, but much of it was uphill. Checked a couple of secondhand shops and bought some books, then went to Coles. Walked back again and would have taken the short cut through the bush, but wasn't quite sure where it went. Didn't want to end up in Hornsby rifle range! Down the very steep hill, clinging to the stroller tightly. Then up again and up the steep drive. I had been walking for over two hours and my leg had a cramp in it from coming down the steep hill. Very glad to get home. Not fast walking, but a lot of effort. So I probably walked about 6 km, a lot of it on a hill. Can still feel it in my legs this morning.Sunday evening, March 17th.
The evening started badly. My husband is a fairly hectic driver and I don't like driving with him. We pulled into the parking area and he swung in a wide arc and then reversed at some speed, straight into my sister-in-law's car. She wasn't there as she was not feeling well from her chemotherapy. Needless to say, my brother was far from impressed! There is quite a ding in the bonnet and it will be an insurance job to fix. I thought that he might have learnt to be more careful when he ran into a car, reversing from our backyard into the lane.
I was amazed at the number of people at minigolf. Lots were still arriving at 10:00pm, as it stays open till midnight. People of all ages and descriptions all seemed to be enjoying themselves.
We had my small grandson on Saturday night. His mum is 25 weeks pregnant and was taken to hospital with severe stomach cramps on Saturday morning. Memories of the loss by a friend that I mentioned above, weighed on us. Apparently, Sam had caught a virus which young Andrew had had earlier in the week. She was then taken by ambulance to a major teaching hospital because they thought they might have to deliver the baby. This of course would have been much too early. More tests for her tomorrow. There is a possibility that part of the placenta may have torn away. Not good.
Andrew was very good, although I am sure that he picked up that all was not well. He woke in the night wanting his mummy, but we were able to calm him. He went home this afternoon and was very glad to see his dad. I'll have him again tomorrow.
I ate reasonably well for a birthday party. I took my big bottle of water and had an extremely small slice of cake. Had chicken and salad as a meal.
It's unseasonably hot here today and the next two days are forecast to be hotter. It's supposed to be 35 degrees Celsius tomorrow and more on Tuesday and Wednesday before a southerly change cools things dow. And this is autumn! Keep the fluids up.
Tuesday, 19th March
It's my husband's actual birthday today and I thought this little pig was rather cute. It's certainly appropriate for him. He loves cake and other sweet things and has been known to have a really healthy meal and then help himself to a LARGE serve of icecream and cake which he buys and keeps in the freezer. He will then add chocolate sauce, milo, cream or whatever else he can find. All this, despite the fact that his mother has Type 2 diabetes although she is not overweight, and that he has been borderline for it on several occasions.I'm really tired today and I am sure that some of this has come from stress about DIL. I was expecting to mind grandson yesterday for a couple of hours while she had further tests, but they rang at 6:30am to say they were on the way over to drop him and to take her back to the hospital. The pain and spasms were back with a vengeance.
I was just back from walking for almost an hour. I wouldn't have done that, if I had known they were coming. All they had done was to pick him up out of bed. He was still in his pyjamas, no breakfast and somewhat bewildered. He's usually a happy little boy, but has been tossed around a bit by the events of the last few days. He told me that a brightly coloured fish in a book he had was sad, "because its mummy and daddy have gone away and left him." I gave him lots of cuddles and he was pretty good. Played cricket several times through the day with him. He has an aptitude for ball sports which is really amazing for his age. Can catch, bowl, kick, bat etc with a high degree of accuracy.Back at the hospital Sam had another battery of tests. They thought she had a bloodclot in the lung, but tests proved negative. I think they have finally decided that the pain is from muscle spasms. They are keeping her there, till they are sure the problem has passed.
I woke today very tired and have taken things fairly easy. I did go shopping this morning, but it was really hot and the mall was well airconditioned. Possibly better than staying home. Hopefully, I will have a quiet day tomorrow and then be fighting fit for two days with grandaughter.Am off now to cook birthday boy's dinner - chicken, salad, and some lowfat dessert for his sweet tooth.
Wednesday 20th March
A beautiful morning here today and not nearly as hot as the last three days which have been well into the 30s (celsius) here. Too hot for nearly the end of March. It is still humid however. I was out walking again early this morning and walked for abpout 40 minutes. I was very sweaty as I reached home. I find it's a strange feeling. It's been dark when I started walking the last few mornings and I have walked past houses which are all dark and then one with a light on. And yet it's not that early, just before 6:00am. Makes me feel quite virtuous and I shouldn't. The only virtuous thing is that I have got myself out the door. I really quite enjoy walking and that time of the morning here now is good. It's just getting up and going.DIL is still in hospital, but the baby seems safe now. She may come home today. They seem to be more ruling out what is NOT the matter with her, than being able to find what actually is the problem. Still, at least they have eliminated a few nasties.
It was pleasant here last night so I decided to have birthday dinner on back deck. Lit the little citronella oil burners, set table and then thought it looked a bit bare. So I rummaged in cupboard and found a packet of that sasheen ribbon for gift wrap ties. I put my life at risk and stood on folding chair(naughty, I know) and attached various ribbons all around underneath the big canvas market umbrella which is always up on the deck. Made loops which blew in the breeze.Husband arrived home, walked up stairs past deck, and I finished the dinner preparations and served it. He didn't even notice! Some of the loops were almost at his eye level. I had to point them out to him and I must say he wasn't particularly impressed. I could have saved myself the effort.
Am back babysitting again tomorrow, and hopefully the weather will stay cool for the next couple of days.
Thursday, March 21
Am babysitting again and looking forward to an early night tonight. I left home at 6:15am to be sure to be here on time this morning.
I've just put her down for her sleep. Later than usual but she's cutting out the afternoon nap. Filled her up with a substantial morning tea, so hopefully she will sleep till about two o'clock.
I have noticed how easy it is to slip back into old bad habits when with a little one. I sympathise with those of you who have babies or toddlers. Just finish off the piece of toast etc. Can't be wasted. Problem is it goes to the waist! I've also noticed that I tend to use the time when she is asleep and don't always stop for a proper lunch. Just pick at something, often not the best choicer. And yet in many ways, I am better off than when I had my own children. I usually do the cooking on a Thursday, because all of those who live here are late back in the evening on that day. However, although I usually sweep and occasionally wash the polished floors and do the odd load of washing, I really don't have to do those things here. No one expects me to do the housework and my son would be quite happy to cook when he came home. He finds it relaxing. So there's no excuse for me not to eat properly.
Other daughter-in-law came home from hospital late yesterday. Doctors are saying that it was something muscular and not a clot. Much relief all round as she would have been on heparin for the rest of the pregnancy
I've just had a wonderful stress relieving 40 minutes playing the pinball machine Dr Who. #1 son whose house this is, likes these slightly off beat type things. He had a Dr Who and a Twilight Zone pinball machine in the first house he owned near us. He sold them when he sold the house and I haven't played them for several years. My name used to regularly appear at the top of the high score table, and it was set to play free games. He also had an oldfashioned, hand operated 10 cent poker machine and a table arcade game where aeroplanes were shot down.
Now he has been here a few months, he is reorganising the big downstairs garage as a rumpus room and bought a new Dr Who. I've had a lovely time, but am sadly out of practice, but I'm sure that can be rectified.
Am off now to make myself a proper salad for lunch while I can sit and enjoy it in peace.
Monday, 25th March
What a glorious autumn day this has been. Unfortunately, the forecst is for storms for most of therest of the week. However, today has been really beautiful. Fairly cool when I started on my walk at 6:45am, but I certainly ended up quite sweaty from walking fairly fast. I walked for 45 minutes. I had hoped to do more, but I pulled something in my hip a few days ago, and both it and my left foot started to ache, so I cut my walk short and came home. I did do some more walking around the shops later, and again this afternoon.
I even managed to do three loads of washing and get it all dry and folded up. There's something about looking at sheets blowing in the wind and sunshine and I just love the way the smell after a day like this. Three loads in any one day is something of a record here for me now with just the two of us at home. When the boys were smaller, it was a common occurrence.
I walked this morning uppast my grandmother's old home. Again I wished that when she needed to sell it, that we could have found the money to buy it. It is an old house, set on an enormously wide block of land. When she owned it, it was divided into three sections. Two of these were rented out and the rent was at that time controlled by the government. She was unable to increase it enough to allow her to do much needed repairs. It has now been restored and made into a single home and looks magnificent.
Good and bad choices over the weekend in regards to food. Lots of salad, but some biscuits which really contribute nothing to my health or weightloss.
Saturday March 30
Here's a reminder to those of us on the east coast of Australia. Put your clocks back before going to bed tonight!
I'll admit I am a fan of daylight savings and I really enjoy having light at the end of the day to eat our evening meal outside on the deck. However, for a couple of weeks now, it has been a spot too cool to be comfortable. Not only that, but it is so dark at quite a respectable time of the morning. I have been leaving home in the dark to go babysitting and watching the sunrise from the train window. All this will change, at least for a few weeks now. I actually don't remember seeing too many letters to the editor in the paper from those who think that an extra hour's sunlight fades the curtains , or whatever they can come up with. Perhaps they are learning. I do think farmers have a valid reason to dislike daylight savings and those who live in the far west of the state where it is light later and very much hotter on the coast also have reasons not to like it.
Yesterday turned out differently to my expectations. We learnt the night before that a place had become available in the retirement home near us that my husband would like to see his mother in. She really is not capable of looking after herself, even with help.
This was borne out by discovering, also on Thursday evening, that she has been put on twice daily insulin injections for her diabetes. She had managed to overdose and give herself double. She convinced the doctor that she was capable of doing this properly. Part of the problem is that in a fit of temper, she changed doctors after the usual one revoked her driving licence. This one does not really know her. Problem is, that she does come across as capable in a quick conversation. When you probe a bit more deeply, it is evident that she does not know what she is doing. Double dose of insulin can cause coma and death. All the more when allied to her poor eating. She eats next to nothing and what she does have is not good. Usually something sweet which she denies even having in the house. We all know differently, but she still insists she eats properly. DIL has bought her frozen meals, made specifically for the elderly. One of these, which would feed a young child does her two or three times.
Because of this, we had to make an unscheduled trip to see her. She offered us jam roll ("oh no, dear, I never buy food I shouldn't eat!"). Norm talked to her and made lots of notes in his diary. It is quite evident that she does NOT understand what she is doing. He has been going to the doctor with her, but the visit to the specialist for her diabetes was kept from him. At least he now knows the next visit. We were extremely fortunate in one thing. He rang the local hospital where she had been and was put onto the home nursing service. He rang them, and actually on Good Friday, got on to someone who could help. They have arranged to visit his mum twice daily and supervise the injection. They won't give it, but will check the dose. That is really good, although she is totally unimpressed. If she takes another in the middle of the day, well, so be it. She still refuses to move over this way and kept telling him things he wanted to hear. She agreed to using Vitalcall alarms, and to using a heater. When the crunch comes, neither will happen. She is stalling for time.
I refuse to eat at her house, as the food is always stale. The boys used to get sick if they ate there when they were young. We did not leave till 2:30pm and had to find somewhere open to eat on Good Friday. Finally found a small, family run takeaway open near Harbord Beach. I wouldn't be surprised if the locals called it the "greasy spoon." YUK!! My stomach rebelled all afternoon.
Hopefully, I will work some of that off today. Have a big day of heavy gardening planned. The backyard looks like a jungle after all the rain and warm weather we have had.
Later...
In the online journal world, there are hundreds of "tests' floating around. Some have some credibility, most are harmless bits of fun. I found this one in someone's journal and put the result here, especially for my friend Fiona. Eat your heart out, Fi. On second thoughts, go and try it yourself. You might end up as Legolas too!
 | Legolas Greenleaf If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Legolas, Elf, a son of the King of Mirkwood. In the movie, I am played by Orlando Bloom. Who would you be? |
Thank goodness for the end of daylight savings. I actually went to bed at the old time and gained an hour to sleep. Usually, we change the clocks early in the evening and then stay up till our normal bedtime and miss the extra hour. It was pleasantly cool here, a good night for sleeping.
I was up early to go to the airport with my best friend. Her ex-husband was taking the children to live in New Zealand. She has not had custody of them for some years. The youngest is now eleven and I have known her since she was about two. We were reminiscing this morning about many things we remembered. Her mother will fly over once a month to see them and they will actually be based near her family and will be able to see their cousins and grandfather regularly. I think they will cope well as they are bright intelligent children but it is still very sad.
We came back and had breakfast in a cafe in King Street, Newtown. There really was nothing point friendly on the menu except freshly made juice. I had a bagel with ham and cheese and was pleased to see that they did not use extra butter etc. on it. I could have had the "big breakfast." It had toast with thick butter, two eggs, a hash brown, mushrooms dripping with butter, fried bacon, two eggs,tomato and sausage. Probably more than a day's points in one go! We sat and talked for almost two hours and had a second cup of coffee. A bit of a release from the tension of seeing the children off. I had been worried about what I might say to their father, who used to be the pastor of the church I was attending. He had the sense for once, to stay down the other end of the terminal and leave us alone. Usually, he would push in, shoving his agenda down our throats. Sorry about that. As you can tell, I was upset and am still about the children going.
We then went to church, where there was a performance by some of those in children's church. It did at least make us laugh. The singing was good and it was good to be with other Christians celebrating the resurrection, the lynchpin of my faith.
Later...
An end to my entries for March. News of the death of Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. I'm no monarchist, but to many she has been a symbol over the years. What changes she must have seen in a life of 101 years. Two world wars and technological advance undreamed of even 25 years ago. The television is full of tributes to her. A good innings brought to a close. She has been much loved by many and may will probably miss her.
