EDEMCO Stand Dryer F850: A metaphor for Epinions Blows Dog
by conradd on Oct. 26, 2001

Pros: EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY..

Cons: How many more days does Epinions have?

The Bottom Line: Sorry Nirav, you blew it this time.

Recommended: No

Let me make one thing clear right now. I do not own an EDEMCO Stand Dryer F850 and I have no plans to buy one.. I have only one short haired dog; she attacks hair dryers and vacuum cleaners with equal ferocity. I have to lock her out of the bathroom when I dry my hair and the living room when I vacuum the carpet. So, why am I writing an epinion on this dog blower?

It is a perfect metaphor for Epinions.

Epinions blows dog. Edemco blows dogs. With a bit of refinement and with Edemco as a role model, Epinions can move on to multiple dogs at one time. Let's ponder the possibilities.

According to the manufacturer, the Edemco Stand Dryer F850 is highly versatile, handling the needs of many dogs with coats of many colors and lengths. Epinions is somewhat versatile, managing to offend writers of varying measures of talent, skill, and dedication. Past efforts to offend writers and alienate members have met with limited success. This can only improve in the future as Epinions looks to examples like Edemco for pointers (German wirehaired, German shorthaired, Brisbane middle finger).

The Edemco Stand Dryer F850 is a high velocity dryer that will blow dogs at 26,000 feet per minute. How will Epinions top this? Watch for the draft created by writers leaving the site. Hold on to your hat, Martha. It could happen.

The Edemco rapidly removes all excess water from the dog's coat after bathing. Epinions quickly removes all excess motivation from its writers' psyches after reading, rating and reviewing. A major difference is that dogs are generally more content when they are dry. What happens to unmotivated writers?

Have more than one dog? Use the handy-dandy attachments to dry two dogs in separate cages with the Edemco Stand Dryer F850. Epinions, are you paying attention? With the unlimited resources at your disposal, you think can blow all your dogs at the same time . . . and make them whine for more. It's happened before. Every time a major change happens, the dogs get mad but they always come back for a tummy tickle and a whoosh through the short hairs.

A convenient extension tube allows users to use the Edemco Stand Dryer F850 as a finishing dryer. Epinions allows writers to use the edit/delete key after finishing a . . . . oh, wait!! Never mind. A cautious dog groomer might muzzle dogs before grooming them. Epinions has effectively done the same thing to its writers by removing the edit/delete key. Growl.

What happens when there isn't any more daily kibble, just an occasional Milk-Bone? Oh wait! That happened too! And, predictably, the dogs are growling and biting back. Oh well. What did they expect?

Dog Breed: Miniature Pinscher
Dog's Life Stage: Adult
Amount Paid (US$): 25 months

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For a time in October 2001, you could have read this review on http://www.epinions.com . It has been deleted from that site, but other writing by the author is still available there at http://www.epinions.com/user-conradd .