BRING BACK BILL BILL
Democratic Proposition 69
Republican Bill 666
From the above, you can tell I am a Bill Clinton supporter. In the last month or so since Bill vacated the White House, well…nothing has happened. George Bush Jr. has now become my target. He is following the greatest president of our modern age. William Jefferson Clinton was the most exciting, personable, and the greatest liar we have ever had in office. He epitomized what is wrong with society, he lied to the public, perjured himself, and when it was all said and done, I was really sad to see him leave.
Supposedly, according to American law, Bill cannot ever become president again. One source I know told me that he cannot be president because he already served his two terms, though I thought it was that he could not serve more than two terms successively (if you know, please let me know for a correction). Hopefully my interpretation is right. Bill offered personality to the Oval Office. His way, his manner, his everything made America proud. He inspired people to laugh at his doings, to follow his vision, or to say that he was Satan's representative on earth.
As George Bush took the Oval Office, a feeling of loss has been running through me. It is not a question of Bill being so wonderful; maybe it is how horrible George is. He is stupid, cannot speak well, and stands as if he is being scripted. He gives us the notion that he is a Texan, a "good old boy." I really cannot stand that. Bill did not give illusions of being anything that he wasn't. He was a playboy, he was elected because of his charm and charisma, and he is a liberal, well sort of. However, George was elected for everything his is not. He is not a "good old boy." He went to Yale. Yale is located in New Haven, Connecticut (not Texas or south of the Mason Dixie line), a school where his daddy went and the establishment go. He never worked hard in his life. His daddy gave him all the advantages he needed. But worse than anything else, he cannot lie.
At least when Bill was in power, we knew that when he was wrong or did not know something, he was smooth enough to allow us to imagine that he knows. You see those eyes dancing around the room with Bill, perhaps surveying his target that evening, but at least he could fudge whatever needed to be fudged. With George, the minute he does not know, you can tell. He is so obvious. He is awkward. Moreover, his understanding of large issues are how "he did things in Texas." For those of you that have not realized, Texas is not a utopia. Liberals continually chide Texas for its lack of good education (though the University of Texas is considered amongst the best in the nation), for its less than compassionate prison system that has an affinity for executing, or their wonderful environmental legislation (what do you expect from a state which is home to most of the United State's oil companies?). The fact is, Texas is no utopia, George is no savior, and when he leaves office, this nation will be worse off than it was before he came.
For those who want to criticize Bill Clinton for his sexual escapades, I ask them to read a book called The Darkside of Camelot. In that book, President Kennedy will be accused of much worse than Mr. Clinton. Moreover, for those older persons who remember our wonderful president who is responsible for my call to repeal the two-term rule, Franklin Roosevelt, well, they will have to acknowledge that he did have that long time affair and was notorious for womanizing. Presidents are human, and some with a higher libido than the Victorian hypocritical middle class that passes judgment on them. Our stupid media has ruined presidential privilege, where presidents could have a private life. Of course they are our representative to the world, but the world cares not what Bill does in his spare time, but what he does in his time at work. Monogamy is something we should aspire to, but Bill is like any man. Bill's only major fault was the girls he chose to have his affairs with, in particular Monica. God Bill, for a man with all your charm and ability, you certainly could have done better than that one.
So, as Bill has left office, we are left with a complete idiot, one incapable of the great things Bill was able to do. Not only will I write to vindicate Bill, I will write to denigrate George. So, as we are embarking on those first 100 days (where George will get his legislation passed through), our economy is poised on collapse, our people feeling that they have rid themselves of a dirty and promiscuous man, and Republicans might be able to save us from our "fall." Well folks, this happened once before when a man named Newt (what a horrible name) led the "Contract with America." George again whipped up that fervor, and now we shall find ourselves with a more degenerate man than the one who left office. Bill, you are the man! Do not change. Run again for president, and George, you just make me sick. Keep your mouth shut, do not touch anything, and in four years vacate that office with your nice pension and Secret Service detail.
