"Blah"
I don't know how I can go on in life. I don't know what the truth or what's lies, anymore. It's so hard to even think of stuff, cause u have no clue if it's a lie. I'll just take it as a lie and just worry about my life. Try to work on being happy and enjoying it to the fullest. Why do I say that, I'll take what I hear as lies. It's because I hear things and it either doesn't happen or it's not true. It hurts, cause I get my hopes up and it's just a lie. Everything doesn't seem real to me. Soon, I'll wake up from this dream and then I know what's real and what's false. Plus, I've been hurt so much. That I'm afraid to get close to anyone or let anyone get close to me. I just don't know, if I can handle anymore pain. Life is just too hard for me to bare. Too much pain and u have to be harsh. I'm not a mean person, so I doubt I'll make it far in life. I'll always be below everyone else.
SEXY HELL ANGEL!!!!
About a month ago, I saw my ex. I felt something strange, cause I didn't have this feelings, when I was w/ Shannon. It's like I was in a dream and everything was going too good to be true. I felt bad that Nicole and her b/f broke up. There was one thing, I wasn't excepting to happen that night. She kissed me on the lips. I felt like I was gonna faint, caused I wasn't excepting it and forgot what it felt like to be kissed in a lovingly way. Plus She awaked the side, that been hidden, since the last time I was w/ her. The feeling of happiness and completeness. I would do anything for her. I know she loves me and I love her as well. I'm still trying to figure out, y she says that I'm addictive. That's gonna bug me, 'til I find out y. It's life and I hope to be w/ her for a long time. Now, I'm gonna end this on this note. I'll love Nicole for a long time and nothing will change that.
"Confused"
I don't know what to think anymore. I love her w/ all of my heart,but I feel as tho. I don't have a chance to be w/ her. Y, cause of her parents not liking me. I don't know y I think negative all the time, when their's other guys who like the same one. Plus she don't know who she wants to be w/. It makes me feel like I'll never be w/ the one that makes me feel completely happy. I'm head over heels for her, but I don't know if she has the same feelings for me. I know she loves me, but don't know how much tho. I wouldn't be surpise, if I stay single. It just seems like, I always fall for the wrong one. Nicole is the only one, since my first love,that I couldn't stop thinking about. In a way, Nicole is the one that made me let go of my first g/f and now she has my heart. If she doesn't choice me. I'll still love her and something happens, where it doesn't work out. I would still want to be w/ her. There's something about her that makes me feel happy and complete. I'm just gonna end this, cause I'm rambling on. I'll always love Nicole and want to be w/ her. No one else
"I'm Dead"
I don't have anymore feelings nor do I want to. When sunday comes. It'll be my end and no one gonna stop me. I shed my last tears for anyone. Good-bye everyone that did care about me and I'm sorry. I had enough of pain and being depressed. Why bother trying to make my life better. It'll only gets worse, cause I'm never liked by someone. It's not worth to live anymore. Good-bye world and all the little things, that I'll miss. Take care and to all my true friends. Thanx for the memories.. Good-bye forever!
