He breathes himself into the darkening depths of her silences. In disbelief she pulls him closer, as if to question his existence. Fingertips on her back leaving ripples under leaves fallen on calm water. Hands mingle with soft hair. Faces carress like the warm breeze of a calm sea on resting drifters. Fingertips trailing through calm water. Breathing slows, souls slumber. Light breaks through the drawn tapastry casting shadow and highlight accross bare flesh, she outlines edges, he pulls her closer. Souls still slumbering. Morning drifters on an open sea. Breeze lightly cooling exposed flesh. Sails loft, tangled souls awaken as the calm morning sea brushes the worn hull. She awakens in sadness with limbs tangled in lifeless bedding. Sun not yet risen, dry heat of the radiator, the alarm tears her drifting heart from the night’s lonely dreaming. Far from the sea she drifts alone on this barren path as leaves all around her fall on calm water. Ripples echoing in the darkening depths of her silences.

faces caressing like the soft touch of falling leaves brushing ever so slightly the heart of a lonely soul will tomorrow destroy this beauty? like the short journey of a skipping stone will she fall to the ocean floor? swollowed by silt earth on all sides crushes hope she finds comfort in this stagnant dreamless state memory of sailing the ocean surface returns lonliness finds her in the throat of the earth she’s aware of your insincerity. Yet this image that wrenches her heart with every coming keeps you with her. She feels your warmth as she lies awake, dreaming, a slumbering soul with open eyes. Is it you she feels or is it once again her dreaming heart. Can this person exist in you, can you hold her as the leaves do? Can you caress her longing heart, listen to her speaking eyes, understand the depth of her silences? distracting energy building within her, pouncing on the weak tissue of her longing heart. With the rise and destruction of hope this energy builds, like a life form within her. Every night alone that this energy goes unused, she is impaled by it’s need to devour, it’s motion within her is ripping through soft tissue, breath shortens, heart reaces, organ after organ impaled by this growing unused energy. This is need, not desire she must fulfill. This is not her romantic tendencies, not a longing lonely heart..this is a seperate entity, it hurts her She sees the tears of others falling for beauty, pain for love is passion. Passion within her that she cannot express because she is alone. She does not have him to devote this energy to, she does not have his eyes to wish herself into. She does not have a listening heart to pour this energy into. She will hold you like you are all there is, she will speak nothing of the world around you, it does not exist when you are in her presence. She will glow when you find her and let this energy out. it will burst from her every cell. Just LEt it out. please it’s killing her right here right now....this need is killing her, she cant go on like this,......she cannot be alone...This energy needs you...she cannot hold onto it any longer, she connot contain this anymore, you dont see what love she is capable of...you dont see how much a part of her you already are...if you knew what love she possessed you’d be with her now...if you understood her you would just be there. but do not misunderstand her words, she wants truth. if you shall deceive her you would surely shatter her being. She would rather be shattered by this energy by an insincere intruder. Perhaps it is beast she crumbles alone shattered by this expanding energy. But she cannot, she cannot fall in that way, not alone, not like that. Help her. please, just help her. free this thing within her....

I cannot take this wrenching pain, like the pain of knowing a life gone unlived. I imagine your face caressing mine in the heart of this dark evening, like times before...

Passion's beauty pouring from the essence of her being. The shining soul sees fallen leaves, sunlit trees. Truth in nature, passion in truth. Does love exist in silence with a glance, must words express? Can you read the eyes of a lonely soul. Searching in silence, seeking to be sought. Sincerity and depth in his eyes. Swimming in the blues and greens, the browns of leaves and the grays of sky. Scattered rain falls on cold cement, moments of beauty, shattered by tomorrow. How long can one remain reassured by the love of the sky and the warm touch of the falling leaves? Hope deteriorates in her lonely eyes, is her passion not enough in this cold city? She fears the sudden drop of the floor; "swallow me instead" she utters in silence. is this impatience or does fear contain her. Perhaps the ground will fall from the waiting room of her unspoken self, hold her, free her, hear her speaking eyes before she is swallowed whole by a listening floor.

We are all ultimately alone, and perhaps that is the thought that keeps ripping away at an already sore wound on the very essence of my being. The thought that the moment you are wading in is life. The time spent with a person RIGHT NOW, is as important as it gets. Not to be measured by importance though, it is the depth at which things will forever remain. The building of that wells I dispise my needy soul. My heart yearning for the feel of another’s warmth. Sleeping alone, I begin to wonder if I will ever be the reason for another person’s joy. If I will ever cause a nostalgic and loving smile on the face of him. The one, no fuck the one, that will happen in time if ever at all, I just want something. Stop observing you intrusive boundary ignoring fool. You are fucking yourself over, why is it that you feel trapped in your own mind. Trapped by other’s prescence. I want to go to Europe with him. I want to see the world with him. I want to be at home with him. During the day, alone is better for me, less contemplation with every contemplative thought, at night, I feel lonely and empty…I realize my complete lack of hope that anything will ever happen…that I’m fucked in silence and fucked by words.

I am happy here, well... as happy as I allow myself to get. my mind often wins in keeping me down. that constant distraction that I refuse to let go of and my need for affection keeps me as lonely as the falling leaves. I search for truth and beauty in nature and in people...people that I now fear it does not exist within. Each of us is alone, and each of us believes we are more alone than he, for he has that which I do not. They've got the warmth of eachother at nght to be reassured of the beauty in this world. I feel cold at night, alone and contained within myself. I will not seek that warmth, but only wait for it to seek me, will hope remain? Or shall I perish in the cold? Will humor resonate laughter in this empty drum, or will the head deteriorate and crack with neglect. time passing slowly, ice forming all too fast, heart beating all too alone. Tears without a hand to fall upon, only that of my own. alone in the cold, convulsing with fear and loss of hope with every shake. Windows frosted with cold, waiting for abrupt warmth to shatter their surface. Warmth with a caring and constructive hand. she is lost, an intoxicated fool. speechless with fear, wishing to be fearless and speak. her soul dances behind glass, streaking the panes with her weary finger tips. her energy is deteriorating from beneath, somewhat visible when you step inside. She must free her dancing soul or remain forever contained, icy and cold. the death of unused life is bitter. Pieces fall like ash, crumble to dust, trampled into earth yet never earth itself, an outsider fallen, an outsider to remain...forever imposing. she sits under the bellies, peeling bark from the death of others, seeking beauty, seeking truth, or preventing both with her decisions of solitude. The dancing soul continues to crumble, falling pieces trampled, soft stone receding until the weight is heavy. the collapse, bare neck exposed to reveal ugly truth, cool wind blowing, beneath the ledges before the collapse, the souls dance, scarves blowing in the wind, free this energy, act upon this desire, shatter frosted glass with warm fist, overcome without the other you seek, hope shall rebuild with every waltz, and sway of the beuty within. Lonely leaves dance together in the cool wind, warming the air with their color and song. Finding eachother in a bed of grass beneath protective and watchful arms above, those from which they have fallen. they rest together beneath a sheet of cold and exposing truth and beauty, melting away to reveal their warmth once again. Lonely souls dance and deteriorate together. Welcoming the trampling feet and cool breezes are the lonely leaves wishing to dance with their lonely companions.