"Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue."

"Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again."

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?"

"A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt."

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."

"Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."

"The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one."

"Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away -- and barefoot."

"If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried."

"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."

"Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of waist change places."

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic."

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused."

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

"Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them."

"If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle."

"Smile. It confuses people."

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."

"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."

"My life has a superb cast, but I can't quite figure out the plot."

"You get what you settle for."

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."

"Dance like no one's watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like no one's listening, live like it's heaven on earth."

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

"Love: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"

"You have not lived until you've found someone worth dying for."

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."

"The seeking counts more than the finding" - Llyod Alexander

"You must still choose the pattern as long as thread remains to be woven."

"The more a man knows, the less he talks."

"Love has no age" - Nick Carter

"Live life to the fullest for the future is scarce" - Nick Carter

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain, If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin, unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain" - Emily Dickenson

"It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul"

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you, weep, and you weep alone."

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on."

"Carpe Diem"