“I can’t do this, Jay,” Alex whispered, grasping my hand tightly. I looked down at her sympathetically and laid my other hand on her shoulder. “I mean, even the sermon was a far stretch, but watching his casket get buried? I don’t think can handle it.” There was a heavy silence and I didn’t say anything because I knew she didn’t want me to.

We stood there, surrounded by her brother, the rest of Galaxy and N’Sync, her mother’s family, and the Backstreet Boys, as we watched them lower her father’s casket into the grave. I stood behind her in silence while Brian and Kevin stood at her sides, both pretty much prepared to catch her if she feinted. I knew she wouldn’t, though. Her face was pale, but she had held her own this far. She’ll be able to do it until the end.

“Psst! JC!” I looked over at Justin and glared at him. He was waving me over. I shook my head vigorously at him. He gave me a desperate look and I sighed. Squeezing Alex’s shoulders, I kissed her cheek.

“Baby, I’ll be right back, okay?” Her eyes transfixed on the lowering casket, she nodded weakly. I stalked over to Justin and narrowed my eyes at him.

“This had better be an emergency,” I growled quietly, careful not to disturb anyone else.

“Roxie and Elis wanted me to tell you to drive Alex over to Mel’s parent’s house after the ceremony instead of going home, alright?” I stared at him wide-eyed.

“What?!?” I whispered loudly. “There is no way I’m gonna do that. I’m taking her home. She needs rest.” Justin only shook his head.

“I think her best friends know what she needs a little more than you do right now,” he said. “They’re doing for her exactly what she did for Elis.”

“Justin, I can’t -“

“Please.” I looked over at the soft voice and found Alex’s cousin standing behind me, her eyes red from crying. “You have to take her. It’ll make her feel better.”

“But-”

“Please. You know her father hated seeing her upset.” After a moment, I sighed.

“Fine, but if she puts up a fight, I’m just taking her home like she wants.”

“I don’t think she has much fight left in her,” Justin said truthfully. There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Sighing, I nodded and headed back over to Alex. When I saw her, I rushed to her side.

“What happened?” I mouthed to Brian as he held my sobbing fiancé against his chest, rocking her like a baby.

“As soon as they started shoveling dirt into the coffin, she broke down,” he said, quietly, still trying to hush the sobbing woman. “She burst into tears and I couldn’t just stand there and watch it happen.” I nodded and put a hand on Alex’s back.

“Ali, baby?” I said, softly, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Baby, look at me.” Slowly, she lifted her head off Brian’s chest and looked into my eyes. Her blue eyes were full of so much pain that I found it almost unbearable.

“Jay?” she said, her voice hoarse. I nodded and Brian loosened his arms around her as she fell into mine. She began to sob again and I tightened my arms around her, rocking her like Brian had.

“Ssh, baby,” I soothed, kissing the top of her head. “Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.” I’m not sure what it was – my words, my voice, my touch – but Alex seemed to calm down a little. Looking over at Brian, I smiled slightly and mouthed “thank you.” He just shook his head.

“It was the least I could do,” he said, putting a hand on Alex’s back and rubbing slightly. “Look, I hate to leave her like this, but we really have to go. Our damn agent decided to book up for an interview in an hour and, as much as we tried to fight it, we couldn’t get out of it. Just tell Alex that we’ll give her a call later, okay?” I nodded and kissed the top of Alex’s head and she lifted it up off my chest.

“Thank you for coming, guys,” she said to the five of them. They smiled comfortingly and said their goodbyes.

“Feel better,” Howie said, hugging her tight and kissing her cheek.

“We’ll talk to you soon,” Nick said. Then he whispered, “And maybe I can get that Jamie-girl’s number.” That made Alex giggle, for which I smiled thankfully at him.

“You know you’re welcome to hang with us any time,” AJ said, kissing her cheek. “We’re here if you need anything.” Alex nodded.

“We’ll call you tonight,” Brian said, hugging Alex tightly and kissing her cheek. Then, he stepped aside and let Kevin move in front of her.

“Will you be alright?” he asked softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. Alex nodded and smiled up at him weakly.

“Thank you for coming,” she said. “I’m sure my dad would have loved to meet you.” Kevin smiled.

“We’ll call you later,” he said. “We’ll be in Philadelphia as long as you need us.”

“Thank you,” Alex said. Kissing his check, she held her half-brother tight. Kissing her cheek, Kevin followed the other four out of the cemetery.

By then, the burial was over. People gave Alex, Josh, and Chris their sympathies on their way out. The rest of N’Sync and Galaxy and I stood back on the sidelines while we watched it all take place. Through it all, the three of them held their formality until the last person had left. Then, the others looked at me expectantly and I nodded. Going up to Alex, I put a hand on her shoulder. When she turned to face me, I kissed her temple.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked, softly, brushing her hair out of her face. After looking at her father’s gravestone, she looked at me, her eyes hollow.

“Yeah,” she said, her breath uneven. “Take me away from here.”