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Study of Evil - A World Reappraised

Update 6/30/04: In the past year I have come to mistrust my husband of eighteen years, whom I have mentioned lovingly in the pages in the past. I believe my life is in danger. I am being guided, and have been advised that what is most significant about my account is that it ties my late father to these other matters -- satanic ritual abuse and alleged mind control.


I endured the trial by fire of satanic ritual abuse and have lived to talk about it. It is my hope that others can be helped in some way by the experiences shared here. As I tell the reader how I discovered what was happening to me, and how I puzzled out the bigger picture, maybe there will be some form of recognition that can be of use to someone else who struggles.

It is my view that we are all here on earth to engage in a great struggle -- a war of words -- a war between good and evil. The reality of spiritual warfare is the one aspect of life I see clearly. The rest seems like so much window-dressing. Everyday life provides the props, the sets and the players for this large human Play. We act out the scripts others have written for us, or we look around, look within, smell the coffee, and write new ones.

This site offers background, book reviews, web site references, and an outline of the spiritual journey I embarked upon in order to come through these experiences intact. I threw in some poetry, drawings and a story as an aside, but then the desire to continue sharing those persisted. I guess time will tell how this page will evolve.

My political views have been altered by my experience with evil, and as time permits, I will expand on this aspect of the Play as I see it.

The time is right, the time is now. It is time to be armed with perception, discernment and vision. I hope this site is a helpful addition to the large number of tools we warriors have to help us see this enormous struggle through to the end.

My spiritual journey is my own, tailor made for my individual needs and my ominous struggle. I have been helped greatly by the Bible -- it contains wisdom and guidance and hope -- but I am not here to tell anyone to "get Jesus." That sort of hard-sell for a Great Soul who had his own great struggle is beneath him.

If I quote the Bible as this page evolves, it is not to thump anyone over the head with fire and brimstone and guilt. It is because some books in the Bible hold gems of wisdom I haven't found anywhere else. I am not a religious person. I hold within me the same divine spark that we all have. I chose to recognize and it give it room to grow.

I ran into deep trouble with soulless people - people who willingly allowed their sparks to be extinguished for the furtherance of an empty agenda. When I faced that trouble, I looked within and found a tiny whisper of guidance. I held on fast, put all my eggs in that one basket, and caught the steel breeze for a long ride.

Please scroll down to see background, book reviews and links. The sections (links below) are the most important parts of my contribution. They hold the essence of the most vital clues I am able to share with others who struggle with inexplicable games. Thanks for stopping by.


Personal Account

The Love Game

(University of Miami, Coral Gables, FL, transcript.)

Cover letter

Page 1

Page 2

Intermediate Games

Round Two

See also, "Resemblance to man in photo with Specter -- my late father"

Scars and other signs of mind control and

"All Wired Up," written 5/14/01:

Page 1

Page 2

Page 3

Page 4

Page 5

Page 6

Page 7

Page 8

MPD/DID or Not? And Peculiar Tests

In 2001 I came across some information that was very upsetting, and came to believe my life was in danger. I wrote a letter to Dale Griffis, Ph.D., a co-author of one of the books mentioned below. I never mailed the letter, but am posting it here as it includes some of my theories about the roles of my university and a former place of employment in this alleged mind control thing.


Page 2

Page 3

Page 4

Page 5

Page 6

Family photos:

Dad, Uncle Artie & Richard (my husband), 1986 Family 1986 -- 3 photos Uncle Artie, Aunt Dora, mom Mom, Dad, Anne & Me, 1970's at Nob Hill Mom & Dad, old newspaper photo Me and mom and Dad, 1983

Recommended Reading

A general understanding of human evil can be gained from reading M. Scott Peck, M.D.'s wonderful book, "People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil."

In "People of the Lie," Dr. Peck describes evil as a mental illness, the symptoms of which are exhibited in those close to the evil person, and not in the evil person himself. He gives poignant examples from his early practice in a psychiatric ward, and later from his private practice.

I am reminded of Dorian Gray. In "The Picture of Dorian Gray," a man has his portrait painted. He finds, as he proceeds with a life of abusiveness and debauchery, that his portrait changes, though his face does not. The likeness reveals the sinister scowl, the evil eyes, the aging, decrepit countenance. All the while, Dorian himself remains fresh looking and wholesome. He keeps the portrait hidden so that no one will know what he is really like.

This is how it works with evil people. Those around them carry their burdens, their stresses and their pain. It's a good concept to keep handy. Now, if I spend time with someone and end up feeling depleted, demeaned or less sure of myself, I make for a quick exit. I drew a pen sketch when I was only 21 years old depicting the aging, crippled hag I felt like in my spirit.

As for the False Memory Syndrome theory, there is no better source for understanding the origins of this "movement" than chapter 3, "The False Memory Hoax" in Alex Constantine's book, "Psychic Dictatorship in the USA."

I give credit to the book, "High Treason: The Assassination of JFK & the Case for Conspiracy" by Harrison Edward Livingstone, for an awareness that changed the focus of my life. For the first time, I learned that the enormous evil I faced in my own life had played out quite intricately on a national level.

I was a child when John F. Kennedy was assassinated and didn't grasp the profound implications of this event until years later. This book "jumped out at me" from a library shelf when I wasn't even remotely focused on this subject.

I had just finished reading the non-flattering book "Nancy Reagan; The Unauthorized Biography" by Kitty Kelley, and had gotten delicious enjoyment from it.

It affirmed my own instincts about the former First Lady and I went to the same library section with the hope that I might find more of the same.

I wasn't having any luck, but my attention was drawn to a small paperback on a lower shelf - "High Treason." I didn't know why I was drawn to it. Obeying instinct, I picked it up and thumbed through it.

I took it home, realizing that for years, I'd been nagged by the persistent notion that something very crucial to our American experience had its roots in that assassination -- that something pivotal occurred that day.

I could not have been more shocked by what I read. The chapter devoted to the large number of mysterious witness deaths really shook me up. Once reading this book, there was no turning back. Everything was documented right there in black and white. The breadth of the conspiracy to kill our beloved President was unnerving and overwhelming. And I, as one who has had to dig for every morsel of honesty I ever found in my life, was a bit surprised that information like this was available in a public library.

See "Resemblance to man in photo with Specter -- my late father"

About four years after having perplexing and painful memories, I stumbled across the feature article in my newspaper's Sunday Magazine section, "Speak of the Devil: Psychotherapy Discovers Satan" by John Dorschner (November 5, 1989). This article knocked my socks off. It was the first time I had received a morsel of affirmation for what I had been remembering. And so my research began.

The hopeful Biblical words, "The truth shall set you free" took on a new meaning for me. I think the author of those wise words accidentally left out the part "but first it will make you sick." The truth, as I have come to know it, has both made me sick and set me free. I do believe I would have opted for the alternative of being mentally ill, rather than face believing there was any truth to my memories. If I had been mentally ill, there was hope that I could pop a few pills and get some counseling and recover. If I was not ill, I had some serious growing up to do. I didn't even believe in evil when it all started -- only in ignorance. This was not an easy lesson.

I began the ritual abuse aspect of my research with the best-seller Dorschner mentioned, "Michelle Remembers" by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Padzer, M.D. Michelle was in treatment with Dr. Padzer when horrible childhood memories of abuse in a satanic cult began to surface. I appreciate Michelle's honesty and courage. This book has been much maligned, and has often been blamed as being the cause for the surge of survivors coming forward since the early 1980's. I would strongly suggest the reader form an opinion of his or her own about this book. (The book is out of print but can easily be found at and other places.) In my opinion it is a profoundly dignified and professional account.

By far my favorite book on the subject of satanic ritual abuse is "Lessons in Evil, Lessons from the Light : A True Story of Satanic Abuse and Spiritual Healing" by Gail Carr Feldman, PhD. This account is so compelling, it is forever burned into my memory. What impressed me most deeply was Dr. Feldman's own personal journey as she came to grips with the realities of her client's account. This was her first encounter with a survivor of satanic ritual abuse.

As the process of memory recovery unfolds for her gentle client, Dr. Feldman's own worldview evolves. It is extremely painful for her to realize depths of evil in our society, and her honesty and pain in the course of this evolution are very touching. It is worth noting that this is the first published account of the recovery of satanic ritual abuse memories of an African-American client.

A book that helped me personally, but which might make for difficult reading for the general public, is "Safe Passage to Healing: A Guide for Survivors of Ritual Abuse" by Chrystine Oksana. This book was written by a survivor with input from other survivors and intended for survivors. It offers no apologies, pulls no punches and takes no prisoners. It lays bare the painful issues survivors deal with, and includes detailed descriptions of abuse as offered by its agonized contributors. I say it pulls no punches because it doesn't start out with a list of disclaimers about this controversial issue. Satanic ritual abuse is a harsh reality for many people, and in this stunning book, all accounts are taken at face value.

"Satan's High Priest" by Judith Spencer is a very enlightening book. This is a description of the life of a high priest of a satanic cult taken from the accounts of his surviving daughter and others. It is the picture of a man that emerges from facts known and verified about his life from others. It is a most insightful inside view of the cult, and affirms much of my own experience. Ms. Spencer delves gracefully and expertly into the psychology of perpetrators. The phenomenon of multi-generational satanism needs to be studied carefully, and it is a fascinating subject indeed, from a safe distance. I consider Ms. Spencer's contribution to the understanding of this phenomenon to be invaluable.

When I first learned of this book, I had a difficult time finding it. The one copy at my local library had been stolen. This is the kind of information that satanic cults don't want revealed. It strips them down to their nuts and bolts, removes the mystery, and reveals the perpetrators as the pathetically sick individuals that they are. This book is also available at and other places (just in case the copy in your local library has been stolen too.)

Ms. Spencer has written another book, "Suffer the Child." This book is the case study of the survivor who was key to the book mentioned above. Unfortunately, I cannot review this one because I couldn't get through it.

On the subject of government-funded mind control, it doesn't get any better than Carol Rutz's book, A Nation Betrayed: "The Chilling and true story of Secret Cold War Experiments Performed on Our Children and Other Innocent People." Carol's book is a must-read for anyone concerned about how our (shadow) government spends our money and what has been done (and presumably is still being done) to children and other unwitting victims. Chapter Six, "Dr. Black" (aka Josef Mengele) has got to be the most disturbing chapter in any book I've ever read. I could not get Gregory Peck's chilling characterization of Mengele in the movie "Boys from Brazil" out of my mind while reading this chapter. I can't say enough about this book -- it is a true breakthrough. Clicking on the link to the title above will take the reader to a thorough book review including important excerpts. In addition there is information on how to order the book on that page.

Another important book about mind control experiments on children was written by two sisters, Lynn and Cheryl Hersha, in conjunction with author Ted Schwarz and former police chief Dale Griffis, Ph.D. Secret Weapons : Two Sisters' Terrifying True Story of Sex, Spies and Sabotage. Lynn and Cheryl struggled with their own memories and healing only to discover that in addition to the corroboration that they received from a professional investigation of their accounts, they were able to corroborate each other's accounts after the fact as well. It cannot have been an easy task to have this book published. Kudos to Lynn and Cheryl for their courage, and to their co-authors for their persistence in investigating, corroborating and revealing the sisters' harsh experiences.


There are fascinating MRI brain scans at this site in addition to survivor accounts and links for further information. Check out this famous quote!

The Government Psychiatric Torture Site

"We need a program of psychosurgery for political control of our society. The purpose is physical control of the mind. Everyone who deviates from the given norm can be surgically mutilated.
"The individual may think that the most important reality is his own existence, but this is only his personal point of view. This lacks historical perspective.
"Man does not have the right to develop his own mind. This kind of liberal orientation has great appeal. We must electrically control the brain. Some day armies and generals will be controlled by electric stimulation of the brain."
Dr. Jose M.R. Delgado Director of Neuropsychiatry Yale University Medical School Congressional Record, No. 26, Vol. 118 February 24, 1974

The Controllers" by Martin Cannon is informative and well-sourced. As described here, "This monograph, over sixty pages in length, makes an excellent case that some alien abduction reports are merely the results of screen memories created by government researchers to cover up their mind control activities."

In researching this piece, Cannon read books, Congressional testimony, journal articles, and declassified CIA and Defense Department documents. In addition he contacted other researchers and conducted many interviews.

Cannon now renounces this work and has asked that it be taken off of websites. To quote him, I have disowned the theory outlined in my work "The Controllers," and have requested everyone carrying the piece on the web to remove it. That damned thing has caused nothing but trouble.

Thankfully, it is still available in some places, like Here and here and here.

A woman using the pseudonym of svalihas written a series of articles at on her experiences as a survivor of ritual abuse and mind control. svali's articles have been very helpful to me in understanding how this all plays out in day to day life.

One article in particular stands out among the rest in making these "unreal" experiences seem all too real: A Day in the Life of a Trainer." Like svali, I urge caution in reading this one, even for non-survivors. I doubt that anyone who reads it will ever forget it.

A courageous person, Diana Napolis , previously using the pseudonym 'Karen Curio Jones', has risked legal action and severe harassment due to her public advocacy of survivors of satanic ritual abuse. She created a database of court cases relating to satanic ritual abuse:

Satanism and Ritual Abuse Archive

Other articles pertaining to Diana and her experiences can be found at these sites:

Curio Jones - An Open Letter to the San Diego Union-Tribune.
Problems for Victims of Ritual Abuse in San Diego, California
Ritual Abuse Victims Advocate Responds to Defamatory Article in the San Diego Union-Tribune
Non-Lethals Turned on Curio
Michael Aquino, Man in Black (This article is currently unavailable. It will be included in Alex's upcoming book.)

Alex Constantine has written an excellent book, available in most major bookstores, about satanic ritual abuse and mind control, including an expose' of US intelligence.

The book is "Psychic Dictatorship in the USA," and a description can be found at

Alex also has a good website, Alex Constantine's Political Conspiracy Research Bin.

On the website Ritual Abuse, Ritual Crime and Healing there is an extensive bibliography of books about satanic ritual abuse, multiplicity and mind control.

Another excellent site for information about satanic ritual abuse is the SMARTNEWS Ritual Abuse Newsletter page.

Healing Roads is good too.

For those who remain unconvinced that these things are really happening in the world around us, I would suggest doing a Google News search on such keywords as "satanism," "cannibalism," "ritual abuse," "pedophilia" and the like. Or go to the Guerrilla News Network forum and read the summaries that I have collected. Caution: some of the summaries could be very upsetting.

(Copyright Laura Hanning, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004. All Rights Reserved.)