........................
Never Jane ....................
Isn't it amazing ....................
that even as a ....................
child I was appraising ....................
me ....................
physically, to find me ....................
lacking. And now ....................
no matter how carefully ....................
I apply the ....................
concealer ....................
or how good the lighting ....................
candles waver ....................
over this and that ....................
I'd rather not have to think about.
....................
....................
I'm still the ....................
ten year old, dripping ....................
in the hand me ....................
down ....................
bathing suit. ....................
....................
Straps twisted, faded ....................
rose not red, knees knocked ....................
both together ....................
with wet suit climbing ....................
up my crack and squinting ....................
never a fan of sun, wondering ....................
why my rib cage ....................
just stuck out like that, so even my best friend ....................
called me ....................
Tarzan. ....................
....................
....................
....................
....................
....................
Observant
....................
Have to
....................
pee; still sitting
....................
an hour
....................
after my appointment ....................
and I have to pee, and ....................
badly. Bladder ....................
is a straining gourd of ....................
yellow ....................
over ....................
due ....................
and I don't care if they call my name ....................
now, nothing ....................
matters. Letting go is what I want, ....................
hung over ....................
a sanctioned bowl for waste. ....................
No corners- potted plants for me, I am an observer ....................
of the rules: ....................
I read the signs. ....................
....................
Just like, ....................
while bending over ....................
looking at my shoes in the narrow closet ....................
they've ....................
showed me to, I study the door ....................
six inches ....................
from my knees. I note the ....................
broken ....................
doorknob ....................
facing me, ....................
the humming ....................
submarine sound ....................
from the other side. I scan the unpleasant ....................
maroon and mustard-yellow sign ....................
with familiar ....................
propeller ....................
sort of ....................
symbol ....................
above the words: Nuclear Medicine ....................
....................
Do Not Enter ....................
....................
and I ....................
don't. ....................
....................
....................
I do not ....................
violate ....................
the millimeter of ....................
pressed wood keeping me from ....................
lighting up like ....................
Tokyo at midnight. No ....................
not me; I just pee ....................
and pray ....................
for lead. ....................
....................
....................
....................
....................
....................
SOMETIMES ............
SOMETHING SPLENDID
....................
Along a stretch ....................
of rural, ribboned highway known as ....................
Black Gap Road, heading south ....................
right off the Pennsylvania ....................
Turnpike ....................
....................
Guernseys ....................
dot the hills and now and then, ....................
a splotch of standing ....................
Angus; the occasional barn and patchwork fields ....................
the slow and sleepy, low-hung sun ....................
revealed ....................
as I drove ....................
round a curve, between the trees ....................
a split second frozen photograph. A mid-air merry ....................
impossibility of Amish children ....................
bouncing on a trampoline, far back from road ....................
caught in the yellow light- their faces ....................
radiant. Little black and blue ....................
and bonneted ....................
balls of life- seven, eight years old- a ring of ....................
miracle, of mystery caught from the corner of the eye ....................
straight to the heart. ....................
....................
....................
