Breath of Fire meets Tenchi Muyo!

By Michael L. Barnes

This story is copyrighted to M. Charger Productions. The characters appearing in it belong to Pioneer and Capcom and the makers of Dragon Ball Z and are not used with permission. This is the fourth chapter of the Bof meets TM saga.

Now with more wholesome humor! ^^0

Chapter four

Random insanity

The gang is trapped inside the cave where Ryoko was for a few hundred years. Currently everyone is on edge waiting for Washu to play miracle worker.

Cray walks over to Ryu as he dangles his feet into the small circle of water which is emitting the light for the cave.

"Sup"

"Sup Cray"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing sitting eating my apple"

"Thats cool"

"So what are you doing Cray?"

"Nothing sitting talking to you"

"That’s cool... So what do you want to do now?"

"Nothing sitting talking to you is just fine"

"Oh that's cool" Ryoko starts to shake with rage at the banter that is going on while everyone else just rests and waits for Washu to come up with something.

"Sigh... When are you two GOING TO STOP THAT?"

Ryu frowns

"When we are no longer trapped in this stupid cave!"

"Your the one's who wanted to see where I was trapped!"

"Well sorry... This is worse than the time we were trapped for three days on that island..."

Ryoko kicks Ryu into the water and he leaps out. “Okay that is it! We are going to have a fight! A Duel! And if you lose I… Well I don’t want anything I am a god!”

Tsunami appears. “Testify!” She says waving her arms above her head like in a church before vanishing. Ryu stutters then just blinks.

”Fine I will defeat you then make you… Set me up with CRAY! Um errr” Ursula’s head snaps up and she pulls out her hand gun.

”I knew it!” Ryoko shakes her head. “Sorry Cabbit thoughts just flew in there… And I thought her thoughts were not so complex… OH well” Ryoko walks behind Tenchi and hugs him.

”You wouldn’t shoot Tenchi to get to me? Would ya?” Ayeka stands.

”Really Ryoko you should be more of a woman and face your own problems!”

“OH YEA! The only problem here is you! And Ursula!” Ursula narrows her eyes and Nina yells.

”HIT THE DECK!” Ursula casts earthquake and the whole floor opens up and soon even more rubble is covering the place.

”Ow Ursula I told you not to do that!” Cray says finally getting involved

Washu brings out a bundle of explosives

"I can blast us a way out..." Ryoko snorts

"Go ahead mom destroy my place of torment!"

Washu and everyone else blink

"Were you being sarcastic but... I thought you hated it here..." Tenchi asks sadly looking at Ryoko as her golden eyes sparkle and she smiles wiping a tear away.

"Aww it's okay just try not to make too big of a hole... Huh Ryu?" Ryu stands once again as he looks determined.

"Stand back!" He pulls his sword out and performs a combo attack on the rubble and it shatters as he finishes the move.

Everyone claps even the two Cabbit's Ryu slowly puts away his sword. "Heh sorry but it took me time to gather the strength needed to do that..."

Cray kicks the pile of apples left next to where Ryu was sitting as Washu zaps them away. "You have to recycle!" Ryu smirks as he leads the way out into the sunshine.

“Tenchi…” Ryoko whispers into his ear and he blushes.

”Um Ryu is a three some what I think it is?” Ryu gags then says.

"Uh right... Anyway let's go get some apple pie!"

Later

Ryu eats his pie slowly savoring each bite. Nina secretly hides her pie to give to Ryu later when he would need the extra energy for his training for his match against Ryoko.

Ryoko stares at Ryu watching his muscles move as he swallows. Ayeka watches Tenchi's behind as he bent over cleaning the floor.

Fray and Ryo-oki were hopping along mewing cutely and Sasami chased them trying to put a flea collar on the two of them with hidden tracking device courtesy of Washu.

"Say Ryu... Are you sure you want to fight me?" Ryu stood and stretched and his shirt tore. Nina fainted and Ryu caught her.

"Um yea don’t worry I wont go easy on you and I expect the same from you... Tenchi what about those gems?" Tenchi looked at the sword as he pulled it free of his pants pocket.

"Um why should I? I mean... Oh all right I will give her back all her powers but after I clean up this drool... Really Ayeka"

Ayeka blushes then quickly leaves the room. Ryoko blushes as she looks at Tenchi’s butt all up in the air till she passes out in joy overload.

"Tenchi you and these girls are not going to last long my friend... Not at all..." Ryu leaves with Nina and opens a portal home.

"Be back later I need to do something... Cray, Ursula come on!" The two couples leave and Tenchi wonders what they are going to do.

Three weeks later

Ryu and Nina show up back at the Masaki residence in a car driven by Cray with Ursula up front riding shotgun... Literally...

"We lost the cops... Good hehehe" Ryu and Nina climb from the back of the car with grins on their faces. As Cray wipes the sweat from his face.

”Ursula I don’t believe you shot out those tires when we were flying over that trench! I mean the cops were way back there and you just… Just don’t do it again… I still can’t believe we decided to run from the cops when we were NOT IN TROUBLE!”

Ryoko smiles. "Okay I hope you kids are not too tired... After all I want to win this fair and square..." Ryu smirks and summons his sword Fou-lu style.

"Wouldest thou love to tango?" Ryu smiles and Nina and everyone blink. Ayeka holds up a sign.

"Ryoko win... Um Ayeka are you feeling well?" Tenchi asks.

"Actually if she loses my chances of getting you by force are slim to none... So WIN RYOKO!"

Everyone sweat drops even Yosho who stopped by to see the fight.

Ryu walks over to a large ring Washu made. "In this corner that god of all gods! That infinite power of power! RYU!"

Washu walks over to her daughter and straightens out her costume for her. It’s her normal battle outfit only with a slight modification. Her face is not covered by a half mask anymore just some eyewear that has half of it black.

"That glare visor should help you when he starts using magic... AND IN THIS CORNER RYOKO THE SPACE PIRATE!" Ryu smirks.

He is dressed in his normal outfit minus the shirt. His body seems ready for a fight. Nina looks on in terror.

"He is going to kill her!" Cray throws some popcorn at Nina. "Shut up! I want to see this... Finally Ryu get's his..." Nina and Ursula shrug and Cray growls.

”What!? He took over as leader of the group! He stole my leadership just because he’s a freaking dragon! Well I want to see him get his butt kicked!”

"BEGIN!" Washu barely hops out of the ring as the two run at each other screaming.

"YWAAAAAAAAAA!" Ryu says

"GWYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ryoko says sneezing as she begins to yell from the dust kicked up by there bodies moving so fast.

Ryu and Ryoko's swords clash and a flash of light is seen so bright it blinds Ryu but Washu's new matching eyewear protects her daughters sight.

"Got ya!" Ryoko thinks smirking as she slashes at Ryu's stomach. Ryu doesn’t flinch as Ryoko's energy blade slashes his abs.

He just punches Ryoko into a mountain and the fight is over. "Okay who wants dinner? I am treating!" Everyone just stares at the mountain as it's top is covered by a small cloud of dust.

"Oh she still wants to fight..." Ryoko's gems protected and countered Ryu's Juraian power since they are on a similar energy frequency.

Cray stands up from his spot on the grassy viewing field and hmms. "I wonder if Ryoko can actually win now that she has her own Jurai powers?"

Washu hmmms also and says. "Yes she can if Ryu doesn’t use his full strength... He is only at..." Tenchi stands up knocking Fray and Ryo-oki out of his lap.

"WAIT!!!! This is not an episode of Dragon Ball! So no power level reading!" Sasami puts away her scouter whistling innocently.

"NO ANYALYZING FIGHT DATA!" Dr Gero groans and puts away his computer. "AND ABSOLUTELY NO... Who the hell are you?"

Suddenly 17 and 18 land and shove Tenchi out of the way.

"Father are you okay? Is that gay little man bothering you?" Dr Gero stands with the help of his creations.

"No he is not gay just confused... Um let me introduce myself... I am Doctor..." Tenchi hauls off and slams his fist into the doctor’s balding head.

He skids along the ground on his head and back for a while before slamming into a rock. 17 and 18 blink and look at Tenchi.

"Sis should we take care of this wimp?" Ryoko and Ryu suddenly go all out there fight spilling out of the ring.

"That is it! Kamehameha!!!!" Ryoko fires her own blasts at Ryu who blocks with one finger. Sasami and Ayeka clap Cray just makes out with Ursula who gives a thumbs up.

"That all ya got?" Ayeka tosses Ryoko a sensu bean.

"I got it from the fan store in town! Washu sells them cheap since she figured out how to grow them!" Washu smiles as Ryoko eats the bean and her cuts heal.

Ryu blinks as Nina tosses him... An apple. "What the hell?" Ryu shrugs and eats it suddenly becoming stronger also.

"ARGH!!!" Ryoko slams a fist into Ryu's nose as Tenchi is being beaten up like Trunks. Yep folks it’s a good ol fashioned DBZ rip off!

"All those carrots and all those peas!" Tenchi runs out of his ruined field of vegetables and slams his fist into 18's face a few times she just blinks then he starts in 17 who just knees him in the gut and he falls over.

Cue music track from the history of Trunks. "He’s done for... Dad should we go home now?" Dr Gero is busy hitting on Washu and his creations just gawk.

"Come on! I am cute in my own way!" Washu hmms then says.

"Sorry I want Tenchi!" Washu goes back to watching Ryu and Ryoko beat the tar out of each other. Dr Gero puts on his Red Ribbon army outfit and says.

"Destroy the boy... He stands in my way of love!" Tenchi gets up making the trio gasp.

"How could you? The Cabbit’s wont be able to eat now... Well maybe they can since they are omnivores but... All those carrots and all those peas!" Tenchi runs at 18 and she just slaps him.

"SHUT UP! Brother if you will?" 17 smirks and kicks Tenchi into the Masaki shrine. The three androids fly after him.

Yosho looks at his destroyed home and sighs. "Damn kids... OH AND TENCHI YOU BETTER REBUILD!" Tenchi is flung into the air.

"YESSSS GRAND PAAAAAA!!!!" Ayeka and the others are so busy watching Ryu that Tenchi is left to be beaten up. Until...

"Stop..." The three androids look at the new comer.

"Huh? Is that... Kagato!" Kagato shows up looking like a punk rocker with a sword strapped to his back.

"Yep... Um mind if I help?" Kagato draws his blade. "I forgot how much fun it is to be a teenager... Now ALL YOUR BASE BELONGS TO US!!!!" Kagato swings three times as he runs past 17,18 and Dr Gero then puts away his blade.

The three fall over and explode ala power ranger’s style then get up. "Ill get you rangers later!" 17 pats his sister on the back and she stop's sounding like Rita Repulsa. "Thanks bro lets go they are no fun... So want to go mess with that Gohan kid? I hear he is in school right about now"

Tenchi walks up to Kagato as he turns to leave. "Spring break right?" Kagato nods then is gone.

"Wow so I wonder who is wining that other fight?" Tenchi wipes the blood off his face and eats a sensu bean and his wounds heal. Walking over and sitting next to his father and grandfather he watches Ryoko finish Ryu with a vicious kick to the side.

Ryu fly’s into the grass near the audience and stands only to fall to one knee. "You win... Damn if only I had not used my other heart tank while with Nina last night!"

Nina and everyone else blink including Ryoko who soon collapses breathing hard. "What you don’t play Mega Man? Sheesh you mortals... IT was all Fou-lu could play while trapped in his tomb!"

Ryu stands and hugs his Nina. "Okay I won... I feel good"

"WHHAAAA?" Ryoko screams hopping up as Washu pulls out the rule book.

"Yep he can say what he wants but unless his whole body is laid out like you were Ryoko he doesn’t lose... So Ryoko loses" Ryoko gets up and ignites her sword.

"Um guys!" Sasami says running.

"MEW!!!" Ryo-oki who still cares for Tenchi drags him out of the way with Fray's help as Ryoko leaps on Ryu pummeling him.

"YOU DIRTY CHEATER!!!" Ryu doesn’t fight back as he is soon flung into the lake.

"That will teach him!" Mihoshi blinks

"Yea but if he doesn’t live then I have to arrest you... Why? Well I never saw any consent forms... So" Ryoko falls over as Tenchi stands.

Suddenly the Baywatch music plays as Tenchi rips off his clothes. "Some people need to help somebody!!!" Tenchi sings as he runs Baywatch style with Ayeka running next to him.

"Oh your so handsome when your copyright infringing!" Tenchi smirks as his dad says.

"That boy needs some and soon..." Yosho and his son in law crack open some beer as Tenchi dives into the water. They pull the cans away from their mouths and belch loudly and say.

"Now that is some good beer!" Cray laughs at the two old men as Ursula sips her mug of tea.

"Oh well lets go home I have a present for you" Ursula walks off slowly as Cray follows snickering.

Hours later

Ryu lies with his head in Nina's lap moaning. "I won but I lost also... Cool" Nina fans Ryu as Sasami bandages him up. Fray and Ryo-oki are outside looking at the moon mewing loudly until a boot hits them both knocking them into the lake.

Washu snickers and closes the mini portal and goes back to work in her lab.

Ryoko is upstairs being bandaged by Ayeka as Ryu turns in for the night like the others. “I still can’t believe you lost… Ryu didn’t seem like the tricky type…” Ryoko growls.

”Yea well he is! That Fou-lu is still apart of him… If only I could get rid of him!” Ayeka sighs.

”Well you cant they are one being now… So want to fight over Tenchi at the usual time tomorrow?” Ryoko nods.

”Good night Princess”

”Good night space pirate trash”

In the guest room for the breath of fire gang.

”Good night Nina”

”Good night dragon boy”

”Good night Crayfish”

”Good night sea lice lover” Ursula bashes Cray in the head with the handle of her gun and he falls asleep.

In Tenchi’s room

”Good night everyone!” Everyone yell at the same time.

”SHUT UP TENCHI WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!” Yosho yells again.

”And rebuild my house!” Tenchi sighs and wonders why he isn’t dead after all that fighting when.

”Dad!?” His father appears to be glowing and he is in robes.

”Yes my son… Remember you are a wielder of the force…” Tenchi blinks.

”YOU mean I am also a Jedi knight!?”

”NO IDIOT! You’re a wielder of the Masaki looks a force to be reckoned with! In my day I was a hottie… You should try and get one of the ladies and here’s how… Sneak into there rooms and decide by staring at each one… Think about what you like about the girl. And about Sasami… Leave her the hell alone until she is older… Or else I shall show you the dark side”

Tenchi’s dad pulls back his hood and shows his face. “AHHHHHH!!!” Tenchi wakes and stands. He puts on the Jurai fighting gear he got from Ayeka by placing the ring on his finger. Suddenly a voice rings out.

”The power is yours… As a planateer you must… Oops wrong dimension” Tenchi blinks as the voice suddenly vanishes.

”Okay I think the gods are drawn to this place… Anyway I must become stronger!” Tenchi runs downstairs as Sasami rings a bell.

”Breakfast!!!!” A rumbling is heard as Ryu, Cray, Nina, Ayeka, Ryoko whos flying Mihoshi and Tenchi’s father and Grandfather come running down the stairs and over Tenchi.

”Owwww” Tenchi whimpers then groans as Fray followed by Ryo-oki hop onto his head and bound off. Tenchi walks into the kitchen dressed normally and sits.

”Here you go we are eating American today!” Tenchi looks at the egg’s and bacon. “Well?” Tenchi takes a bite.

”Thanks this is really good” Sasami hands Ursula a cup of coffee and she smiles.

”Thank you” Everyone chats normally about what they plan to do that day.

”Well I will rebuild Yosho’s house then perform some tests on Fray he seems to be hyper more than usual.

Fray in full grown form looks like Cray only his ears are larger and drape over his back and he has stripes over his face. His hair is more like Rey’s and he eats like Ryu.

”Hey that was my apple!”

”Get your own!” Ryo-oki changes also and says.

”Leave his apples alone carrots are good also!” Fray smirks.

”Okay!” The two munch on some carrots as Ryu laughs.

”He is whipped!” Cray and Ryu start to roar with laughter until.

”Ryu fetch!” Nina holds up an apple and tosses it into the air and Ryu leaps up and catches it in his mouth.

”Good boy!” Cray gulps as Ursula sips her coffee eyeing him.

”Okay well im done so I will be going see you later!” Tenchi leaps out of his chair and runs out the front door grabbing his farming tools.

”Oh I will help!” Ayeka follows leaving Ryoko floating in the air cross-legged thinking.

”Ryu we must have a rematch… I want to know your true power” Ryu smirks.

”My power… Is a terrible thing… Even if I have sealed away most of it when I made the dragons go home or where they wanted to go…”

Nina and Cray look at Ryu. “What do you mean?” Ryu sighs.

”Well some of them opted to be reborn as mortals… So I did that… Only one went back to Jurai in the future and that was the rock dragon… I guess he wanted to live forever and remain immortal he went back home where the water is… By the way Yosho I need to ask you a favor”

Ryu and Yosho leave the house and the elderly (ha) man grins at Ryu. “Don’t tell the others me and Nina got married… I know you know… I can sense it”

Yosho nods. “Just don’t be getting into fights with Ryoko… Her power is great… Just seeing you fight yesterday was a beautiful ballet”

”Who Ryoko fighting or Tenchi being beaten up?” Yosho blinks.

”You did not see Washu’s friend ordering his creations to stomp the life out of him” Yosho cleans his glasses.

”Okay… Maybe not”

Later

”All those carrots! And all those peas!” Everyone starts laughing as Tenchi says this then wince as he is bashed into the ground. Washu stops the tape.

”Sorry we didn’t help you Tenchi…” Sasami says near tears.

”It is okay I replanted all the lost food so soon Fray and Ryo-oki will be eating to there hearts… Aww they are kissing!” Tenchi said when suddenly.

”What are you all perverts! Get out!” Washu was even booted out of her lab.

”Okay Ryo-oki has grown up!” Everyone said aww until noises started.

”What the!?” Ryu and Nina blushed when suddenly the house exploded.

”NO they were not doing anything! LOOK!” Floating in the air was a dark figure.

”Hello mortals” Landing the figure came into view. Cray roared in rage as Ryu drew his sword.

”Yuna!!!!!! YOU BASTARD!” Ursula wondered if Cray would show this much rage if she ever died.

”Hello Cray nice to see you…” Fray came out of the dimensional door leading to Washu’s lad with Ryo-oki behind him.

”Who’s this jerk?” Fray said his ears twitching as he pulled out a large spiked bat.

”Hmm strange he looks like Cray… Oh no matter… Cray death has come for you!” Father just ran to the bus stop.

”I am going to work!” Tenchi ran the other way screaming.

”It’s the weekend!” Tenchi’s dad hopped on the bus and was soon gone. Yosho drew a wooden sword and said.

”This is the one who killed Nina’s sister?” Cray nodded as Ursula gave him cover fire as he rushed Yuna.

Yuna made a light sword and slapped Cray with it into a few trees. “Yes I made her a god and soon I shall all make you dust!”