Breath of Fire meets Tenchi Muyo!

By Michael L. Barnes

This story is copyrighted to M. Charger Productions. The characters appearing in it belong to Pioneer and Capcom and are not used with permission. This is the third chapter of the Bof meets TM saga.

Now with more wholesome humor! ^^0

Chapter three

Replay

It was a bright and sunny day as the clouds parted and shone light onto the Masaki residence. Ryu was nowhere to be seen but Cray and Ursula were chatting on the dock while Nina tried to learn how to cook from Sasami.

"No Nina! You need to stir slowly or it will not simmer right!" Nina blushed as she began to stir the pot of noodles as Sasami added the flavor pack.

"We want the noodles nice and tender" Ayeka walked into the kitchen and coughed.

"Sasami it is just a pack of Ramen with beef flavor packet... Oh my..." Sasami gave her sister a death look usually reserved for those who were bad.

"Get... OUT!" Ayeka suddenly found herself over the lake and she silently cursed her goddess sister as she fell in.

Washu chuckled seeing Ayeka try to swim with her bulky robe on which was giving her more trouble that it was worth. Washu was typing on her portable computer when she heard a noise behind her. Sending it away she then suddenly cursed at having forgotten to save her work.

"Now how am I supposed to find out how many times has Ryu been reincarnated? All my data on his soul is now deleted... Oh well it is no problem to recover it for I am the GREATEST GENIOUS IN THE UNIVERSE!"

Ryu suddenly exploded out of the bushes with Ryo-oki and the two fell into Washu just as she restored her data. The screen flashed data lost forever and she screamed nearly pulling out a clump of hair with her right hand.

Ryu and Ryo-oki who was in cabbit form were fighting over... An apple. "Hey come on! You eat carrots and no I will not set you up with Cray!" Ryo-oki bashed Ryu in the nose with a paw and took off with his apple in her mouth just as Washu was about to blast him with a huge cannon she pulled from subspace.

"No I cannot blast my subject" As Washu lowered the cannon, Ryu turned and accidentally touched Washu's chest. Ryu blushed as Washu gave him a death stare. "THAT IS IT!" Ryu screamed like a girl as Washu chased him around the lake shooting at him with the huge weapon.

Yosho just blinked as he saw Ryu run past his shrine with Washu charging up her gun for a finishing shot. "Crazy kids"

Meanwhile

"Now my love soon we shall RULE THE WORLD! With this Dragon/Jurai power drainer I shall store all of Ryu's power in a small ball that is shaped like an apple and then eat it there for becoming IMMORTAL!!! And yes you and Teepo shall have a nibble or two... After all without friends life would be so boring"

Rey and Teepo still were tied up now they were snoring loudly. “WAKE UP!” Rey opened his eyes and stared at Momo as Teepo tried to squirm out of his ropes. “That is much better now as I was saying your going to spend eternity with me Rey… Funny your name seems different than before”

Rey rolled his eyes and snorted. Momo continued to work on her invention while Teepo finally fell over and knocked himself out to avoid hearing Momo’s evil annoying cackling.

”Nina lunch looks great!” Ryu said keeping an eye on Washu who glared at him. Tenchi was smiling happy he wasn’t being fought over by Ayeka or Ryoko. But it wasn’t to last…

”TENCHI!!!!” Ryoko appeared in his lap and Tenchi caught a nosebleed among other things. “I know you want to kiss me so go ahead I don’t mind” Ryu and Cray were snickering so much Ursula just burst into laughter which scared the others so much they stopped eating.

Ryo-oki took this chance to hop into Cray’s arms in cabbit form. “MEOW!” She smiled looking cuter than anything in the world, which made everyone’s hearts melt until the gunfire began.

”I TOLD YOU HE”S MINE!!!!” Ursula chased the cabbit out of the room shooting the whole time. Tenchi sighed as he hoped the magic blasts from her gun would not leave scorch marks.

”So Ryu when are you taking your friends back home? I am sure Nina needs to see her father or something and Cray are you not the leader of a whole nation?” Cray proudly smiled.

”Yes I am”

”Then why are you not leading your people?” Cray blinked.

”Um err…. My look at the time!” Cray ran over into the kitchen and yanked out the sink and threw it though the window of the dining room and leapt trough it running away.

”That’s one cat man that did not quite fly over the cuckoo’s nest” Everyone nodded and started eating again.

Later

Momo had Rey slung over a shoulder and Teepo on a leash. “Who says im weak? HA! I kicked both your butts!” Rey groaned.

”Yea right you gave us poisoned meat!” Teepo hacked.

”No way Rey she can’t cook!” Momo booted Teepo into the black pit.

”Now for you!” Momo dropped Rey on his head before pushing him into the portal. “Oops I hope you didn’t break your neck hehehe” Hopping into the portal pit Momo turned while in freefall and held out a detonator switch.

”Mission Accepted!” And blew up her lab since she wasn’t going to need it anymore. If her plan worked Washu would be her assistant in her own lab and the others playthings. “I wonder if Nina would mind if I replaced her wings with arms?”

Ryu meanwhile was making out with Nina in Tenchi’s room since he was busy running away from Ayeka and Ryoko. “AHHHH LEAVE ME ALONE! NO I DO NOT WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR BELLY BUTTON LOOKS LIKE UP CLOSE RYOKO!”

Ryu stopped kissing Nina and laughed. “Okay so what to do now Nina?” Nina smiled and stood and walked over to Tenchi’s window and slid it aside and stepped on the new balcony Ryu had put in one day as a favor to Tenchi.

”Well how about we admire this sunset?” Momo leapt on the balcony from above and laughed.

”I am Momo the most brilliant female scientist in the world! I hate to lose and I absolutely love Rey! My cannon will clear my path into his heart!” Ryu and Nina sweat dropped as Momo finished her intro.

”Yea um Momo why the crazy intro and why are you here? What if I had left you would have been trapped!” Momo blinked then said.

”So I have Rey here and he loves me!” Rey fell from the roof onto the balcony tied up.

”She is crazy! But I… Am… Attracted to her somehow! Shoot me for god’s sake shoot me!!!!” Momo pulled out her cannon and whapped Rey with it and he flew into the lake.

”Cool off kitty hunk for I am… What the heck is that cute thing?" Momo looked at Ryo-oki as she hopped onto Nina’s head. “Awwww you’re so cute!” Ryo-oki saw a striped tail poking out of the lake and thought Cray was in danger.

”MEOW!” Leaping off Nina’s head she landed in the water and grabbed Rey by the tail and dragged him out of the water. Getting a good look at him she found it wasn’t Cray and shoved him back into the water with a foot paw.

”Hump!” Ryo-oki hopped off as Rey managed to flop onto shore once again. Getting angry he changed into were tiger and roared as he leapt at Momo.

”Oh goody he has transformed….” Ryu and Nina just gaped as they watched the situation. “Here Ryu eat this!” Ryu found an apple with a cord hanging out of it shoved in his mouth.

“Hey what the heck is this?” Ryu getting no response as Momo blasted Rey ate the apple or rather took a bite and found. “Um whoa…” Ryu felt his powers leaving him as Momo held up a glowing orb in the shape of an apple with a cord hanging out of it.

”Long story short im stealing your powers!” Momo bit into the glowing orb and drained off Ryu’s power. Yanking out the cord she took another bite leaving less than half the apple left.

”Rey be good and you can be immortal also!!!!” Rey snorted as he hefted his smoking body into Tenchi’s house. “FINE! NO DINNER!” Rey snorted loudly from inside the house.

Teepo suddenly fell from the roof having woken up. “Hey can I have a bite? I am a little short on dragon power if you know what I mean” Ryu drew his sword.

”TEEPO YOU TRAITOR!” Ryu suddenly felt weaker as he passed out into Nina’s arms as Momo gave Teepo a piece of apple.

Nina casted ice blast on Teepo before he could take a bite “Listen this is insane!”

Nina woke up with a start. Ryu had bitten her arm muttering something about apples. “Oh it was all just a dream…” Momo looked down at Nina as she was strapped to a table next to Ryu.

”Oh you woke up… Here let me turn up the morphine” Nina started to drift away muttering.

”Silver bells silver bells….” Nina passed out and soon…

”AHHHHHH!” Nina woke up with a scream as Ryu snuggled closer to her on the sleeping mat. “Oh my… I had a crazy dream… I hope none of this happens tomorrow”

The next day

It was a bright and sunny day as the clouds parted and shone light onto the Masaki residence. Nina tried to learn how to cook from Sasami and found it was easy since she knew what to do.

“Nina! I am shocked! Have you been spying on me?” Sasami was amazed at Nina’s grace and skill in the kitchen. “Oh well you seem to have a handle on this so I will…” Ayeka was about to enter the kitchen when Nina raced over to the door and said.

”Ayeka, Tenchi said to meet him under the spaceship tree for… Well he seemed awfully happy” Ayeka blushed and took off. Sasami blinked.

”But Tenchi did not… Oh you know something? Never mind finish up here I need to go feed Ryo-oki before she gets into trouble!”

Nina remembered what Ryu had said about Ryo-oki pestering him all morning in the dream before they started making out. “I need to intercept one cabbit stat!” Nina finished cooking the ramen noodles and stirred in the flavor packet then took off.

Washu chuckled seeing Ayeka try to swim with her bulky robe on after Ryoko caught her trying to make out with Tenchi who had nearly passed out. Ryoko and Ayeka fought and Ayeka ended up in the drink. Washu was typing on her portable computer when she heard a noise behind her. Sending it away she then suddenly cursed at having forgotten to save her work.

"Now how am I supposed to find out how many times has Ryu been reincarnated? All my data on his soul is now deleted... Oh well its no problem to recover it for I am the GREATEST GENIOUS IN THE UNIVERSE!"

Nina raced up with a backup disk “Heh I sort of remotely hacked your computer with a mini download of all current data… Here is a backup” Washu blinked.

”But how… Never mind thanks it will save me time” Washu got up as Ryu and Ryo-oki exploded out of the bushes and landed on the ground instead of Washu. “Meow!” Ryo-oki was about to hop away with Ryu’s apple when Nina shoved a carrot in her maw and gave the apple back to Ryu.

”Thanks… Ewww Cabbit spit… Oh well” Ryu walked off eating his apple. Nina smiled now she only had to watch out for Momo.

Ryu suddenly ran up to Nina with a smirk on his face. “Nina come on let’s go for a ride!” Ryu concentrated and transformed and soon in his hybrid form was flying in the sky with Nina at arms length gliding on her wings.

Yosho just blinked as he saw Ryu swoop past his shrine with Nina laughing. “Cute kids now if only Tenchi would grow up a little bit and behave like a man!” Tenchi walked up to Yosho and said.

”Aww grandpa I really like them all… Even Mihoshi no matter how brain dead she is…” Yosho scratched his chin.

”Son you need to understand that they will never stop trying you need to pick someone… Ayeka is my fave pick since she is royalty like you… But the others have good qualities also… At first I thought it was only Ayeka and Ryoko who were the problem but… It is you and your indecisiveness!”

Tenchi nodded and started to sweep. “And when you are done sweeping try to talk to one of the girls! It is bad enough your father thinks your…. Um never mind” Tenchi nearly crapped his pants.

”WHA!!!!?” Yosho whistled innocently as he walked away from his grandson.

Meanwhile

Momo was holding Rey after Nina had showed up with Ryu and stole her invention. “She took my toy… Well at least I have you!” Rey was knocked out while trying to escape during the short fight with Nina. “My cuddle bear!” Rey woke up and said.

”Not in front of Teepo at least! He is just a kid again!” Teepo snarled.

”HEY it is not my fault I was born as a kid again… Sheesh”

"Now my love soon we shall RULE THE WORLD! And yes you and Teepo shall have a nibble or two of the world once I rule it. After all without friends life would be so boring"

Back on Earth err in the past… Aw screw it!

”Nina lunch looks great!” Ryu said eating his noodles with hearty slurps. Tenchi was smiling happy he wasn’t being fought over by Ayeka or Ryoko. But it wasn’t to last…

”TENCHI!!!!” Ryoko appeared in his lap and Tenchi caught a nosebleed among other things. “I know you want to kiss me so go ahead I don’t mind I am yours!” Ryu and Cray were snickering so much Ursula just burst into laughter which scared the others so much they stopped eating.

Ryo-oki took this chance to hop into Cray’s arms in cabbit form. “MEOW!” She smiled looking cute which made everyone’s hearts melt until the gunfire began. Well almost began.

Nina casted ice on Ursula’s hand and watched as she gawked. Cray and the rest suddenly were wide eyed. “Oh Ayeka I am afraid!” Sasami said clutching her sister’s hand.

”We all are… We all are…” Ursula melted the ice with a fire spell and slammed her boot on the table she glared at Nina who smirked. All the while Ryo-oki had become an eighteen year old again and was sitting in Cray’s lap purring.

Ursula turned to her and said. “You want the hunk you fight!” Ryo-oki had Ryoko’s powers when in this form so she just blasted Ursula in the face. “Damn… Cheap shot” Everyone dared not to laugh as Cray just stood still as stone as Ryo-oki smiled at him.

Ryo-oki said suddenly in a clear voice. “He is mine! Hehehe”

”She talked!” Washu gawked then thought for a moment.

”She should want Tenchi but… I guess Cray is a better choice I mean he is strong and cute…. Um I think I have been reading her thoughts too much sorry hehehe” Washu blushed as Ryoko said.

”I can see why she wants him look at those pecks! HOT DAMN HE IS SOOOO CUTE!”

”WHAT!?” Ryu and Nina shouted while Ayeka fainted dead away. Tenchi blinked then just rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

”Ayeka wake up! This means you get Tenchi!” Ayeka muttered.

”I prefer to win love with force… Now excuse me I deserve this nap” Ayeka fainted dead away as Sasami fanned her face.

Ursula blinked standing. “You all cant have him! I’ll kill you… Cray who do you love!?” Cray suddenly stood up and peeled Ryo-oki off of him.

”You Ursula… You came to me when my heart was shattered and forged it anew with a fire attack… Literally” Cray was about to go into a flash back scene when Nina said.

”I have a solution… Washu clone Cray with Cabbit DNA and then our little one will have a boyfriend and I am sure you will go back to your Tenchi wanting ways as soon as Ryo-oki’s hormones calm down and you stop reading your kids thoughts heh”

Ryo-oki blinked and blushed. “No I want original! Oh alright” Nina slapped her forehead and Washu who had turned into her adult form and was now fanning herself said.

”Okay one Cray with Cabbit DNA coming right up… God Cray you are so manly!” Ryoko was drooling as Ayeka still was ‘fainted’ on the ground.

”Okay dad roll out another sleeping mat!” Tenchi’s father looked at his son then his father in law.

”You do all know your some damn moochers but I like you anyway” Ursula went aw then shot Tenchi’s father in the foot. As Tenchi’s father hopped around Ryo-oki was still next to Cray smiling as Tenchi just blinked.

”Hey Mihoshi! Why haven’t you said anything?” Mihoshi drank her tea and replied.

”As far as I am concerned I am no longer the comedy relief so… I am on break! Hehehe” Tenchi sweat dropped as Ursula demanded tea.

”Stop acting like a cheap ass! And bring out the tea!” Sasami looked at Ursula.

”But you shouldn’t get drunk now… Okay don’t hurt me!” Ursula smiled and laughed as Nina sighed.

”Ryu care to…” Ryu had fallen asleep and was munching on an invisible apple in his sleep. “Oh Ryu” Nina said dragging him to the couch and putting a blanket on him.

And so Washu cloned Cray and gave him all of Ryo-oki’s current powers. Only the clone did not have Cray’s memories and was much like Ryo-oki a little kid in many ways yet not so little.

”I think we should call him…. Fray” Everyone swapped Tenchi for his dumb idea. Except Cray who was still rubbing his arm where Washu extracted some DNA samples.

”How about Stripes I mean he’s a cabbit with stripes!” It was true the Cray clone was in cabbit form but was brown and orange with black stripes all over his body. Ryo-oki was snuggling up to him and purring while he tried to figure out what the hell was going on with all these people staring at him.

Cray coughed. “He shall be called… Fray and that is final Ryoko!” Tenchi and Cray high fived each other and smirked only to be bashed in the noggins, Nina picked up the new couple and wondered.

”Ryoko and Washu do you want Cray now?” Ursula drew her shotgun just in case as Washu said yes.

”NO and I feel sick now… Tenchi is so much cuter… From now on I am staying out of that Cabbit’s head” Ryoko was vomiting at the thought of being with Cray into a bag and Nina left her alone. But Ursula took it as an insult.

”You don’t want my Cray! How dare you throw up at the mention of you having the hot’s for him!”

”YEA WELL TENCHI CAN KICK HIS ASS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!” Ryu sighed.

”We should be more wholesome! People could be spying on us and watching us act like this! This is not a sitcom!” Everyone looked at Tenchi who suddenly felt like leaving Washu’s lab quickly.

”Okay so… What now?” Washu smirked and brought out a needle.

”Oh Ryu… I need to do a comparative study on your DNA with Tenchi’s!” Ryu screamed like a girl and ran away. Washu just hopped on a floating disk and zoomed off after him.