09-06-00 Wednesday

WEDNESDAY!!! is the best day of the week! right. So earlier this week, Nicole and I went on a 3.7 mile hike around the resevoir. I must say...I never thought I could do it. But we both did. and accomplished some much needed best friend conversation. It was most delightful. I got a call from Kim!!! and I have to go in to meet the District Manager tomorrow but I pretty much have the job. (YES! Praise the Lord!) and speaking of praising the Lord...it's youth group night. Tonights discussion was about the Holy Spirit. During small groups, Dianne told us how much she loves all her girls in small group. And how she told Kip not to ever ever change the groups again. Dianne is badness! It was a good night. And Arbys was just...super funtabulous! Because it was absolutly hilarious. #1: I set down my purse, and went to get my shake...and when I came back, James and Kelly were sitting across from where I left my bag. COUGH! now usually, I stay away from them when they're together because Kelly doesn't like me all too well. Something about jealousy...blah blah...lack of trust...blah blah...thinks that James and I are more than friends...BLAH BLAH! ya. anyhow, so I sat across from them, and laughed because Nicole and Natalie are hilarious. And because AJ is the bomb. Then...just as I was settling into the idea that Danny and Ben were NOT going to show up, they did. I took a deep breath. And just as I did...James noticed them walking toward the door. And he's like, "Oh loooook! it's Danny and BEEEEEEEEN!!!" So I slapped him...probably turned 9 shades of red. Then took another deep breath and did my best to ignore the fact that they were there. (how dumb is that) I'm going to be working with him soon. (smacks self in head) STUPID STUPID STUPID

~Rip out the soul of me the whole of me you're scared of me. Never feel anything at all.~

So while ignoring...said boys...I ended up laughing at Crazy Jon. He shoved almost an entire roast beef sammich in his mouth...then AJ tried to get him to down one of those little paper cup thingies full of arbys sauce. and he was choking on the sammich...doing Mr. Peepers...and laughing THROUGH the sammich...then he puts the thingy up to his mouth...laughs, and blows arbys sauce all over his own face. It was so funny. AJ was on the floor laughing so hard. Jon is a riot. Just watching him hop around without his crutches is worth a few laughs. The night was great. I think it all started when Kip said buttjunk. (I don't think that's what he said...but it sure sounded like it.) Picture the whole right section giggling like little kids when they hear the word weiner (ok, that word STILL makes me laugh)...it was childish...but funny.

~You can't talk to me when I'm gone~

So I was getting ready to leave. And I look over, and see Danny looking at me. I figured it was one of those moments you can't pass up, so I did the "I love you" thing from Austin Powers. and he's like, "I knee you" (I need you...get it) It's a Danny thing. He came over and gave me a hug. I didn't even have to ask...which is nice. And he complimented me...which is rare...so I'm generally happy with that. I'm so glad he's around. He brightens my day. But I just...the "not a thing" with Ben...is getting out of hand. And I'm going to blame that on James. Because HE mentions it. I wouldn't even think about it. And not to bring it up again, but he looked really good this evening. (I really need to shut-up) I'm getting myself in trouble. I can see it now.

Danny: "and she said you looked 'really good' at Arbys the other night"
Ben: Oh good Lord! Make her stop! That's gross man.

Something tells me that someone has said something to him already, and he's blown it out of proportion...and probably thinks I'm some freak of nature. I need validation. Somebody tell me I'm not insane. PLEASE! Somebody tell me that there's a boy somewhere who likes me...that I might like too. And Kir's like, "he's short" (giggle) that made me laugh. (ok, that made no sense there...but I'm not in a backspace key mood right now.) So anyhow, they left, and than a little while later, we left. I ended up driving James home. And he makes me SO mad. Working out until he gets physically ill?!?! Talk some sense into him Kirsten please! Grrrr. I wanted to smack him...but he's weak. and I felt bad for hitting him earlier. But I drove his butt home. Threatened him...the usual. I asked about Kelly...and he said that when Nicole and I dropped by the other night, and Kelly was there, his dad went to hide in the kitchen. I guess he thought that fur would fly. But Kelly pretty much ignored us the whole time. And when we asked her to tell James that we'd stopped in, she didn't. That I find funny. I don't know. I just...don't think that she has very much trust in her boyfriend. She's too jealous and shifty. No further comment. I'm digging a hole...and if I dig any deeper, I won't be able to get back out. Anyhow...I'm going to go to bed. So I can get up bright and early for my last interview.

~I say, I pray all the time. Empty in my loneliness~

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