09-18-01 tuesday

Long time no update huh? Ya...that's explainable. But my new outlook seems to sound a lot like, "I don't have to explain myself to anyone". Anyhow, I've been busy. I'm getting jerked around at work. First I didn't think I was going to be promoted at all. Then they finally promoted me, but they haven't even started training me yet. So I'm getting paid more for doing thesame old crap that I've been doing in that store for almost a year now. It's extremely frustrating because I have bills to pay. And at the rate I'm going right now, I'll have my debt paid off in a year and a half. If they'd get their butts moving, I could be trained in time for my 20th birthday (end of October) and then once someone quits, I could be promoted to A.M. Making that kind of money, I could have my debt paid off in 2-3 months. But as of now, I'm lucky to get 18 hours a week even though I'm supposed to be guaranteed 20-25 hours. And I get stuck with these 3 hour shifts in the morning 12-3... How ridiculous. And it's not like I'm really looking forward to being promoted. I'm actually quite cynical about it. I love this job but I hate it. I want it, but I don't really. I'm just afraid that I'll get stuck. Because more than anything, I want to move out of my parents house...but once I do that, I'll have so many bills to pay that I won't be able to quit and go back to school. I'm never going to go back to college. It's so freaking stupid. On that note...

~I feel so alive. For the very first time, I can't deny You. I feel so alive.~

What is up with this dumbass terrorist bull? I watched it, like every other red blooded American did. On the news 24/7...I don't even know what to say about it. It's all just my opinion anyway. So I won't get into it. I think I just basically wanted to state that I know it happened. And I've had some mixed emotions about the whole thing. I'm not quite sure what to think. But last I heard, we're going to kick some stanky terrorist booty.

~Is that all you got? Take your best shot.~

On top of the beginning of WW3, locally, it's the beginning of Nicole and Laura war (45 million). How can two people be fighting, if they haven't spoken to each other in over a month? I haven't said word one about her. But somehow, the battle has begun. Ok, so I've been quite rude to her boyfriend. I'll admit that. But hell, he's a big fat liar. (yes, I know that was childish) And no one else seems to point this out. But we've all talked about it. Their relationship is what has caused her to be absolutely unbearable. That's why I stopped hanging out with her. She has nothing to say besides how crushed Casey is about how he's treated by everyone. Poor Casey. Boo Hoo. I got sick of it. And it started at Cedar Point. Poor me, I can't ride this ride. Poor me, I can't get sticker pictures. For crying out loud! You've been this way your whole life...you'd think by now you'd be used to it. And the next thing you know, she dashes to his side to defend him from the cruel cruel world. So that blew over. But then we started to notice more of it at home. Casey and his poor me crap, and Nicole with her make it all better bull. Casey does no wrong. He's an angel. Well, then why did he lie about still working at Finish Line??? Cause he got fired. Technically he was laid off. But honestly, Nate let him go because he was sick of his crap just like everyone else. From what I was told, he wasn't such a good salesman, and he didn't do his job properly. everyone else there was constantly having to help him out. Nate told everyone he hired for back-to-school help that some would be kept, and some would be let go. Casey got let go because he didn't show any improvement. He was told quite a few times that he needed to shape up. Plus, he didn't show up for work twice, and he tried to cover two people's shifts at the same time. 3 strikes...All the while, he's telling Nicole that he's the best salesman there, and Nate told him he would be promoted to an assistant manager in no time. lies. As far as I know, she still thinks he's working there. Ugh, so yes, I was rude to him the other day when he came in the store (his last day of work) and tried to tell Shannon and I (Shannon happens to be dating the manager at Finish Line so all my information is abstractly direct) that he still worked down there. That he talked to Nate and it was all ok. No, Nate told him that he was rehirable. So he could come back in at Christmas time and REapply. No guarantees on a job. But he's no longer in the computer, and therefor no longer employed.

~Are you there?~

I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of being treated like I don't know what's up. I made another VERY rude comment to Casey...awhile ago. He came in the store...and threw his hand down on the folding table where I was folding some shirts. So I looked at his hand. Noticed that there was a wedding band on his ring finger...but I ignored it. A few minutes later, he called attention to it once again. He said, "see that?" so I said ya, and he proceeded to tell me it was a promise ring that Nicole bought for him. And that they're going to get married. That's fine and dandy. I asked him a logical question. "How long have you two been together?" he said 2 months. So I laughed in his face and said, "well, the relationship she had previous to yours lasted 2 years. And she was dead set on marrying that guy too." OOOOH! That was a heavy blow. And I suppose I could have been a little less harsh. But it's the truth. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news...cause the messenger always gets killed. But someone needs to have some balls around here. And I seem to be the only one. Cause quite a few people share my awful opinion but don't have the cajones to say what they feel. Once again, I'm the bad guy.

~Everyday is a new day. I'm thankful for every breath I take.~

I'm not going to promise that I'll be updating any time soon. Or ever again for that matter. I've got a lot of things to work on. Later.

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