The G-D-S-O-B dvd player went all to H!!!


09-08-03 11:22pm

~Best is she who clearly sees the wood for the trees. To obtain a birds eye is to turn a blizzard to a breeze.~

It's been another long day. But before I get to that, I want to talk about my shitty weekend. What a weekend. Friday/Saturday was the worst. I'll quote the notebook journal here. "This has been my lowest day since the infamous 2 months of recovering from CT." I'd promised myself I wasn't going to get messed up like I did Friday night. But my day at work was its usual dull, and I'd been sitting at home alone for a few hours, bored out of my mind. TJ called and invited me to the midnight movie. I called over to Laurie's and found out that Steve and Casey wanted to go because the girls were ready to pass out. So I stopped at the house before heading to the theater. Steve drove and we all headed over there...fubar. Here's where it starts. Sometimes Casey just tweaks that last nerve. I had shotgun yet Casey was practically in the front seat. His face was right in the middle of everything, he was jabbering about something so I told him several times to sit back and put a seatbelt on. Steve even slammed on the breaks, propelling him forward into an extremely uncomfortable position. Yet he refused to sit back and continued to annoy the hell out of me. Anyhow, I assumed that we'd be going straight home after the movie but Steve and Casey wanted to go to TJ's and play cards. Ok, that was fine. I was pretty much stuck with that since Steve drove. So we went over to the apartment. They started up a game of euchre while I crashed on the couch. Not 2 seconds later, TJ calls me into the kitchen because Casey's game is worse than mine. I made them promise a back massage. (HA! Like that happened) I was supposed to "help" Casey but ended up taking over for him. I don't know...I was just a total bitch to him ALL night. I'm usually not like that. I can control my urges to bite certain people's heads off. Not Friday...we ended up playing 2 games. Andrew and I lost both. Why? Why do they ask me to play when they know I suck. After the game, we headed for the door. I don't even remember the chain of events that led up to it, but I flipped Andrew off for some reason. His wiseass comment was, "ya, I'd like to see you back that up." So as I walked out the door, I stated jokingly in my 'cocky' tone, "maybe later". Back to the car, back to Casey's hyperactivity...I decided to call back to the apartment just for a witty knee slapper. I called, TJ answered. I told him to tell D that I said, "it's later..." I guess things seem funnier in my head...because TJ informed me that Andrew didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I found out later, when I called back a second time, that he knew very well what I was talking about. He just didn't find my cockiness as entertaining as I did. So the second call, which shouldn't have been made, ended up being quite stupid and awkward. It basically made me sound like a jerk. That just pissed me off. It shouldn't have made me as angry as I was. It's been happening for years. Hanging out with this group of clever bastards has always made me feel like a dumbass. I'm just not as quick as they are with the witty comebacks. Steve and I had a short talk about that after the first call was made. He says that I have my moments. On an occasion, I can be quite hilarious. But sarcasm is definately not my strong suit. I'm fine with that. Then I asked what my strong suit was. He wouldn't say. We got back to the house and as I was getting out of the car, the door would only open enough for me to barely squeeze my ghetto ass out. I said something about it, and Steve and Casey both chimed in, "that's your strong suit". Thanks guys. Thanks for the vote of fucking confidence! Needless to say, I haven't heard from TJ since. Eh, whatever.

~You make me melt and I don't want to be frozen anymore.~

So I woke up Saturday afternoon thinking, "damn! Last night was horrible". It set the tone for the day ahead. I turned on the computer for some musica while I fixed my hair for work. Guess who IM's me. Of all people, my aunt. She and my grandmother were planning a little surprise "party" for my parents anniversary and Mary was making the cake. Innocently, she asked if ma and pa like cherries. Conversation turns...she asks what I have planned for Sunday night. Of course I said nothing. My plans aren't usually made until the last minute. Plus, I knew that they were coming over so I hadn't made any plans. Out of nowhere, she says, "oh! so you and your brother can come with me to 'teen' mass at church". WHAT? My wonderful aunt has two goals in life. #1: To set me up with losers without asking me first. #2: To convert me to Catholocism. I think I finally got her to stop trying to hook me up with random guys. (the last one was a suicidal weirdo she met at church who had turret's syndrome) But I don't think I'll ever get it through to her or my grandmother that I'm just not cut out to be Catholic. Honestly, don't you think that if I really wanted to go to church, I'd be going? No one understands my take on religion. I like it that way. I know what I believe. That's between God and I. So just give it up! She doesn't know that I smoke either. That would open up another lovely can of worms and I just don't want to go there. This is why I rarely speak to relatives. I went to work. SSDD. Emily let me leave early. She may have noticed my poor attitude. Who knows. So I came home and didn't call anyone. Instead, I sat here and wrote 2 poems and a 7 and a half page journal entry. What an exciting Saturday night. A horrible ending to a horrible day.

~Will I ever get to where I'm going? If I do, will I know when I am there? If the wind blew me in the right direction, would I even care? I would.~

Sunday, what did I do on Sunday? Ah yes, that was the anniversary party. I purposefully stayed in my pajamas hoping she would take the hint. We ate and talked for awhile. The phone rang. A heavenly sound...Laurie says, "HEY! I've got a couple of coupons for a $2.99 haircut. Wanna go?" It was an act of God. I rushed through the shower, threw on some clothes and took off as quickly as possible. So I got an awesome cheap haircut. Everything is better when it's cheap. Free is best but cheap is definately a close second. After that, we stopped in at Super Walmart (the one stop shop for anything and everything you could possibly ever want. And it's CHEAP!) I spent my last $6 on two pairs of underwear. Not just any underwear though. They look like TW's. Like little boy underwear minus the cartoon designs. I couldn't resist. We did all kinds of running around. But it was short lived. Steve called...he locked his keys in the car at the golf club. He had some company picnic going on there so all of the pepsi people were present. Triple A comes, and Bill (the wigger/hillbilly with a girlfriend and a kid who likes to hit on me) says goodbye to everyone. Then he looks at me and says, "later sweetie" or some other unneccesary flirtatious remark. So I said, "Later. Oh, tell Summer (his girlfriend) I said hello." Ouch. He didn't like that very much. "OH! man...I can flirt. I just can't touch." Mmm, right. First of all, with a girl and a baby, I don't think flirting should be had. Secondly, I wouldn't even let him touch me with Jason Mraz's hands. ugh. Rubs me the wrong way. Hmm, ya. That was pretty much the long and short of Sunday.

~You could never offend. Your dirty words come out clean.~

Ah, now that we're all caught up. My computer has been f'd up all weekend. I stopped trying to fix it on Saturday when all the shit hit the fan. More fuel for the flames I suppose. Work wasn't as blah today. At least Shannon talks to me. I don't know why but Emily's been in ultra bitch mode lately. Maybe she was just being nice at first. Maybe she's always a bitch. I really don't have much to go by. Anyhow, it was hours of gossip with Shannon. Funny conversation. She's been trying to stop cussing around her 2 year old. So she uses letters rather than the whole word. In the car on the way back from the bank this morning she yells at some jerk who wouldn't lay off of his breaks, "G-D-M-F'r! Aint that a B!!!" It was funny to me but then again, sarcasm is my weakest attribute. (mmm, sarcastically bitter...aint that a B!) I snuck out back for a smoke break half way through my shift only to find a beautiful specimen of the male persuasion. Here he stands with his dark hair, brooding eyes, ear piercings and a cigarette hanging out of this wonderful mouth. *sigh* Pinch me. We had quite the little talk. I'm proud of myself. I think I mentioned awhile back that I'd been having trouble talking to attractive guys. Self confidence issues...anyways, he asked if we'd been busy. Ya. We spent the last half an hour coloring. Then he said he needed to stop smoking before it gets cold because there's no way he's going to stand out there and freeze his ass off. So I told him to try smoking outside all winter on the east coast. He asked why I'd moved to suck ass Ohio. Yadda yadda. short and sweet explaination. Then he proceeded to tell me that he just recently moved back home for a job transfer from Dayton. He runs D.O.C. But our chat was cut short by one of his employees. So I finished my conveniently packed stick of death, and skipped inside to tell Shannon that I think I need my eyes checked. HA! That was funny. See! Okay, maybe not. All I got out was the hot manager from D.O.C and she told me his entire life story. Shannon, all knowing, all seeing, mall gossip queen. Aparently, he's living with his parents while waiting on a DM position to open up. He rebuilds motorcycles, hates Lima, and thinks everyone here is a mindless clone of one another. Holy shit! If this isn't what I've been spouting off at the mouth about, I don't know what is. All I gotta say is, Damn! I think I've got a cataract coming on. Maybe I should "accidentally" step on my glasses. Oh the possibilities...

~Don't let the world bring you down. Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.~

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