10-06-00 Friday

~In your eyes love, it glows~

It's been quite the day...and it's only 11:19am. I'll get to that shortly. Right now, I want to skip back to Wednesday. Youth group...is always a relief. It just pulls me out of the stress that's built up throughout the week. I'm just so drained when I get there...and completely clear and satisfied when I leave. We talked about the 2nd coming. How no one knows just when it'll happen. That kinda scares me. Even though I know that there's a place set for me in Heaven. It scares me because I also know that some of my friends won't be there. It was cute though...Nicole's like, "Yeah, my place is right next to Laura's..." and I said, "and Dianne lives down the street." It's always good to sit and talk with my small group. I love all of those girls...I love Dianne.

~What I want is what I've not got. And what I need is all around me.~

So we all remember that I invited Chris to come to Arbys after he got off work on Wednesday right??? Well, he didn't show up. I was a little irked...but I got over it. I figure...if he really wanted to be there...he would have come. Anyhow, Thursday at school...during UVC, I look over at Alexandria and ask if Chris was there. She said no she didn't see him. But I turned around amd saw him. He sat in a weird place. Usually he sits in the back behind us...but he was on the other side of the room, in the middle. (He's slowly creeping closer to us) I told Alexandria about him not coming to Arbys. And I was like, "I bet you anything he pulled through the parking lot, looked in and didn't see me...then left." She's like, "yup!" So class is over...and I was getting my crap together...walking toward the door...well, I was leaning on this pole that's in the middle of the room...it's like a pillar...big square thing. And BAM! someone hits me on my shoulder. I look over, and it's Chris. He's says, "So where were you the other night?"
I'm like, "I was there. Where were YOU?"
"I was there."
"um...no you weren't."
"I was there at like 9:30 and you weren't there"
"I waited until 9:45 for you...and made Nicole wait with me. So -I- have a witness. I was there seriously. Are you going over to Reed?"
"I might."
"ok then I'll see you later."
Alexandria and I walk out...and I'm like, "he touched me...*sigh*" We sat in Reed Hall...for our break...there was a LARGE group of people sitting in the lobby. We walk in and the one guy is like, "Welcome to our group. What's your name?" It was like AA or something. We ended up having this big political discussion. I don't know. A bunch of people left. And finally Chris showed up. I said, "I still don't believe you were there."
"well, I drove through the parking lot and looked for you..."
Alexandria goes, "GIRL!" and gives me this big high five. THAT was hilarious. We finally figured out why he didn't see me. He went on Tuesday...dork.

~into your heart, heart beat again~

So today, I get up a little late. I wasn't in a huge rush or anything. But once I finally get everything together, I'm like, "brushed my teeth...lipgloss...CD'S!" and I head out the door. My antifreeze problem was on my mind again...I had mommy put some in the car while I was doing last minute stuff. I get three quarters of the way to school...and realize...I FORGOT MY FRICKIN' PAPER!!! The big paper that I sat up until midnight typing...the big english paper that was due today. I kept going...and thought about it. It would be extremely dumb to walk in without a paper. And I'm not so good at lying..."I didn't realize I forgot it until just now professor A really." So I turned around. Decided to skip English this morning...and take the paper to him once class was out. Didn't miss anything big. Went over the quiz we took yesterday...I thought I bombed it. But I only missed a few. I was rushing up the parking lot...and I saw Gina and Dominic. (they're in my class) so I'm like, CRAP! Class is over already! I'm running...and (light shines from Heaven...the sound of harps being played by cherubs rings through my head) I see my prof. I'm like, "I'm glad I caught you!"
"Car trouble?"
"I was late getting up...I forgot the paper went back to get it...and car trouble...*sigh*"
"ok. well, (he takes my paper) here's your quiz. We're having chapter 6 quiz Tuesday. You didn't miss much. We watched a video...it's what your next paper will be over. It's not that big of a deal. You don't have to watch it. Unless you really want to."
"Thanks...*sigh* (smile)"
I turned around and almost skipped off joyfully. Cause I have no idea where his office is. And I didn't want to try and find. I had another class. So that's taken care of. Thankfully. I wandered merrily over to Reed...and had theatre. At least we didn't talk about orgies today. (My theatre prof is hilarious) Anyhow, Alexandria and I walk out of class, down the hall, pass the lobby. I see out of the corner of my eye...some chick on some guys lap. She says, "I haven't seen you in such a long time!!!" I'm thinking -Oh Lord...get over it!- Then I look, and the guy...is Chris. Alexandria looks at me...and she says, "ya, and he's looking over here at us..." I just kept walking. If there hadn't been a girl on his lap...I would have stopped to talk to him. I'm glad I didn't though. We walk out of the building...and she's like, "I never thought of him as the type to have a girl hopping around on his lap. That was just...ugh" I'm like, "I think it's funny. I don't have to be jealous...you're doing it for me." Any other time...I probably would have gone off. (In my head at least)

what the hell was that all about??? I guess I'm not good enough for him either! Well screw this...I hate men!

Giggle...yup. That's what would usually happen. But then I thought about it. I assume she's a friend of his. (if she's comfortable enough to jump on him) And they were hugging. I'm not going to interfere with hugs. Those are too good to pass up from anyone...(except this guy on ICQ who's really creepy and everytime I say something...he's like *HUGS* Ewwww) Plus...I hadn't seen James in quite awhile...and I remember crawling onto his lap and giving him a hug. I have nothing against this...particular situation. That would be hipocritical. And stupid...we know...that I'm often stupid and jealous. So no. I won't be that way. I'm actually kind of..."who cares" about it. I mean...there's a chick on his lap...and he saw Alexandria and I...and was looking at us instead of lap-girlie. Whatever. No analyzing crap Laura. Sheesh. Even Alexandria noticed that though...ug.

~I'm exposed and it's no big surprise. Don't you think I know exactly where I stand...~

So ya...I have to work tonight...and tomorrow afternoon. Alexandria asked me to do something with her tomorrow...I'm supposed to go to Nicole's family thing. (It's a halloween...hay rides...free food thing) We'll figure something out. I paged Andrew last night. He had called when I wasn't home. About the party. He didn't know if he could go. He's starting this new job...blah blah blah. I told him...the party is from 7:30pm til 2am. I'm sure he can make it sometime...even if only for a little bit. I think he was worried about having to get me a present...but that's not...I don't want people buying me things. I asked for hugs. HELLO! He asked "so am I supposed to bring anything??? Like food or...a present" and I'm like, "uh no. We're providing everything. Don't worry about it." I'm glad we carried on a civil conversation. It makes me feel so much better about that situation. James called too. But no one answered when I called his house. Whatever. He'll get a hold of me. So...ya. that's about it. I need to eat something. And maybe take a nap. I should...work on my homework. (bleh)

~I never thought you could be that way~

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