10-04-00 Wednesday

~You are stellar~

Rough day. Rough week. I'm sick. I sound like a croaky frog. I had class today. Barely made it through. I can't even type complete sentences. There are too many things on my mind. That's why I'm doing this and not revising my English paper, studying for chapter 5 quiz, studying for my math quiz, or reading over Oedipus. Plus...I just procrastinate...and enjoy making up good excuses for why I'm not doing my "home fun". I really have to get this stuff done though. Because I have to work tomorrow. So there's no chance of waiting until then. I was going to take one of those nice cold pills that knock you flat on your behind. But decided that I would never get up for youth group...and that's a MUST. Just in case Chris is a good boy and comes to Arbys. I'd like to be there. And because I have a feeling that God is really trying to tell me something. Ever since school and work started...I've been paying far more attention to those things...and stupid crushes on boys than God. Somebody is being really retarded, and not getting their priorities straight. I've been so terrible. and I'm kicking myself for it...right now actually. I'm kicking myself.

~you always know that I'll be there.~

My head...is just swimming right now. If you could read my thoughts...it'd be confusing like this.

I wonder if Chris will be at Arbys, I wish I could say something to Dan to make him feel better about the other night, man...I really should NOT have kissed that guy at the club, My nose is running. SNEEZE! I can't wait until my party, cause my costume is THE BOMB. I need to make those mixed tapes...I need to order the cake. I need to sit down and take time out for God, I need to rest because this cold is beating my...I just wanna know how he feels. The phone is ringing...I really love The Juliana Theory. Wrong number...my throat hurts. I need a glass of juice. SNIFF. I can't believe I almost gave him the URL. That would have been equivalent to suicide. I'm such a tard. UGH...I have to do my homework...excuse me. Home Fun. I probably look like I'm stoned right now. I don't want to work tomorrow. I need an Aleve. but that means I'd have to get up. which means I'd trip to the kitchen...cause not only am I clumsy...but this disease is making me dizzy. I'm so tired. I just want to crawl in the bath tub...and take a bubble bath. It's cold in here. I've got the shivers. Ok...that's about enough.

~Everything comes tumbling down~

Thank Heavens you can't read my mind huh. At least I sort things out for you here. But up there...it's just a big ol' mess. I can't believe I just admitted to that. I'm glad youth group is tonight. I think I said that already. I give up. Maybe once I'm feeling better, I'll update again. I did update the "neighbors" though. Sorry Rach. I never got your e-mail. Are you sure you sent it??? Well...that's about it for today.

~I could never be the apple of your eye~

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