Booze and Adventure


Cinco De Mayo! Happy birthday Mommy!

~If you gots the poison I gots the remedy~

Well, it's been awhile hasn't it?! What a weekend. This is going to be a forever long waste of free internet space. So! Let the fun begin!

BOOZE AND ADVENTURE!
So, around 8pm on Friday night, I got all my shit packed up in the Hellbeast and headed for the great north and all that is The Mitten! Michigan. The trip up there really wasn't so bad. It seemed to drag on for fucking ages...and it was dark. The insane amounts of road construction were pissing me off. But I made it almost all the way to Grayling with no problems. (Grayling is where Jesse and I met at 1 o'clock in the morning) So I'm truckin' down the highway way up north. And it slowly turns into like back country hickville. Trees...and darkness. I'm trying to stay focused at keep my eyes on the road but I keep seeing animal carcasses and huge red blood stains smeared down the highway. I look around, and start to see large masses of deer that are WAY too close for comfort. They're chillin' on the sides of the road...and I'm freaking out because one little thing could spook one of them and they'd come flying out in front of me. I don't know...I'm paranoid. I hate to say it...I mean it's really sad that they run out in the road and get hit then run away to die in the woods. But at the point, I was way more worried about me. I drive a fucking NEON. Cheap piece of shit fiberglass. It would be more likely that I would die before a deer was even scratched. So I drove like a crazy person 80-85 mph hoping that I'd get passed that area extremely fast. Luckily, no deer were harmed during my trip to Michigan. So anyhow, I reached the meeting spot. (a dark, grim, closed Big Boy in the bountiful town of Grayling). And I sat there and waited...and waited...and waited. And started to get nervous. Then Jess pulled up in his little silver focus and it all went away. I gave him a huge hug and we stood there in the cold and talked for a few before we decided to head out...just to drive another hour before reaching his humble abode. I rode his ass the whole way there, and tried to avoid looking off into the distance so as to not be looked back at by beady little deer eyes. Surprisingly, I wasn't weirded out by the situation. I mean...I had never met him before. And it should have been awkward.

~I'm sleeping to dream about you~

So we get to his place and he showed me around. I made myself at home. We sat and talked quite a bit more. Wrastled around a bit. That's always fun. Flirtation is something that I happen to be good at. He told me that I wasn't what he expected. He thought I'd be taller (I think I'm too tall already. I tower over a lot of people...in fact, I was a little bit taller than Jess.) He also thought I'd be wider. But...fortunately I'm not. I'm not skin and bones. I'm a nice, mushy, untoned, but skinny, lanky girl. So around 3 or 4 we went to bed. The following day, we woke up to a knock at the front door. The first round of friends that I got to meet. I'm walking half asleep around the house in my jammies...the infamous Pony track pants, and a long sleeved t-shirt. No bra, no makeup, and flip flops. Jesse got in the shower and left me to fend for myself. So I took that opportunity to hop outside and smoke a cigarette. Where I met his summer-only roommate Justin, his friend Tick (Thalonius) and Tick's girlfriend Rachel. Justin was in the process of moving his shit into the house but taking a cigarette break. So I talked to them for a bit and then took my turn in the shower. As I finished bathing, the company was leaving, and we so decided to go get some food. He took me to Cuppa Joe where 2 of his other roommates, Jaxson and Tony work. We got coffee and I got to meet them kind of, and then we went to The Golden Chopsticks for lunch.

~discover me, discovering you~

(I knew this was going to take forever. I'm not even half way through the story.) So after leaving my cell phone at the chinese place and going back to find that our fruity waiter had tucked it in his apron in case I came back to retrieve it, we went to the Traverse City Mall. What's a trip to the mitten without a visit to the local mall scene?!?! I helped Jess buy jeans...got my mom a birthday present and I also found a fun souvenir for Laurie. There was something weird about the store that I purchased my gifts in. It was family owned...and the guy gave me a huge black trash bag to carry a suncatcher and a monkey figurine in. So I got to walk around the mall carrying a large garbage bag with drawstrings. Then we headed back to the house to find that a group of people were already collecting for the evenings festivities. BOOZE AND ADVENTURE! Justin, Tick and Rachel were back. Rattlesnake and her boyfriend were there...he's the only one that the name slips my mind. Tony and Jaxson were off of work. So we stood around in the driveway while Jaxson and Jesse cleaned out the garage. It really needed to be done. They split up chores...but things don't really pan out very well. Anyhow, they unsuccessfully attempted to hang up a punching bag and unsuccessfully attempted to get the garage door opener to work...then decided to order pizza. Jess and I took off to get some booze. We went to Meijer in hopes of also finding a set of darts for their dartless dart board. But did you know that darts are seasonal? Meijer only carries them in the fall. Absolutely ridiculous. So we picked up the pizzas and went back to the house dartless but we had fists full of alcohol.

~what's up with M-R-A-Z?!?!~

So the rest of the night basically consisted of drinking and listening to crazy hilarious stories. All of Jess's friends are comedians. I got a kick out of Justin's sad ex-girlfriend stories. They were really dramatic. But extremely funny because he was quoting the things these girls said to him and he used this voice to talk for them. It sounded like all of these girls weren't girls at all but actually, gay men with very high pitched voices. My favorite part was the story of the stright laced christian girl that he dated who was a sex fiend. She liked to change the subject everytime he tried to break up with her. He'd say, "uh, I don't think this is going to work out." and she'd reply, "I really like your new haircut. It's so cute. Wanna fuck? Let's fuck."

~Time is often on my side. I'm gonna give it to you tonight.~

05-06-03
This story is so long. I had to stop to collect my thoughts last night and never finished. Now it's late and I'm drunk. The plan was to get my mom drunk...but I think it backfired. She has yet to swallow one drop and I'm on my 3rd. I'm a fucking alcoholic. But this should be fun. Ok, where did I leave off? So there were lots of good conversations. I surprised myself there. I've got pretty good social skills. But I'm sure the booze helped out there a little bit. Jesse is a bit of a social butterfly. So he was off talking to other groups of people while I was enjoying some great stories with all the other smokers. We were joined by one of Jesse's really good friends Scott Allen Miller. From what I've been told, he's usually pretty quiet. But he'd had a large sum of vodka. And was equally as entertaining as the rest of us. We all had bitter X stories so that was wonderful. But slowly the masses began to leave and I was left with Jess and Scott. We talked for quite awhile. Honestly, I was pretty out of it. Which Scott noticed. And he tried to beat some conciousness into me with a pillow. But after several attempts, he failed. And he crashed on the couch and we all went to bed. Sometime around 5 in the morning, there was this piercing beep coming from the living room, and I could hear Jaxson rustling around with his flip flops. So we checked out the situation...apparently, the power went out and the carbon monoxide detector was set off. And they couldn't get it to stop. I don't remember who's clever idea it was, but they put it in the mailbox. YA! And you could still hear the damn thing all the way in the house. So this was...Sunday. When we finally got up later that afternoon, I started my rag. But I figured I would and I prepared for it. In fact, I think I mentioned that on here somewhere. So I had massive cramps. And Jess wanted to go walk around at a park. It didn't sound like fun. Cause I was doubling over in pain. But I popped some asprin and we went anyway. The cramps went away after the car ride. And we walked around on this beach. It was pretty cool. We talked about some crazy shit. I picked up an oyster shell. Which I kept by the way. It's on top of my tv. I thought that would be ironic. We just chilled the rest of that day. Rented a couple of movies. Which I highly recommend The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys. We also watched Jeepers Creepers. That was the worst movie I've seen in a very long time. I wasn't impressed at all. It got pretty late so we slept...woke up (like you couldn't figure that part out) Monday was my mom's birthday. I didn't want to leave because I was having a really good time but I wanted to get home and spend some time with mom so I took off around 11am. It was raining like a bitch. Pushing me all over the road. Finally that started to let up. But then somewhere between Saginaw and Flint, I heard this thudding noise. So I pulled over on the side of the highway...a very busy highway might I add. The wind was blowing. Hair flying. Semitrucks ripping passed me. And guess what I find. My drivers side rear tire...flat as a pancake and torn all to shit. So I spring into action. Being the tough ol' gal that I am. I yanked the donut out of the trunk. Pulled out the jack/tire iron. And that's where we began to have problems. I can change a tire. No problem. But I'm used to using the nice big jack that my dad has in his workshop and the one from my trunk was...what's a good word for it. Ghetto? Jewish? Retarded? Gay??? How many other words can I use to not only bash the jack but cause hate crimes at the same time? Anyhow. I was fiddling around with the damn thing. And up pulls this big ass truck...3 guys jump out. There all like, "hup hup hup, how long have you been stuck here??? nobody stopped to help you?! Let me do this." So in the matter of maybe 5 seconds, they changed the tire and set me back on track. Here's the clincher. Directly on my handy dandy donut it states that you should not exceed speeds over 50mph. The limit in MI is 70. I was doing 80-85. I was cautious at first...but ended up driving the rest of the way home at about 75mph. Thankfully the rest of the trip went well. So it's now...4:30am on the eve of the 7th day of May. I got back from the bar with Laurie and decided to finally finish this. Now I'm stuck...because I'm in the middle of attempting to convince Ben that I was adopted by an east asian woman and came to the states when I was 10 to find my biological parents. Which would explain why I'm not American and therefor not proud to be an american. Because supposedly, I have no pride. Or so Ben says. Interesting...the things people talk about at 4:30 in the morning. I don't even remember how we got on that topic. Yes, well after knocking a few back in the comfort of my own home earlier...and listening to my dad make fun of me for being an alcoholic...I went to the bar with Laurie. (and Steve...and his band of men on the pepsi payroll) Only had one though. Just to get back on the subject. And so here I am, typing away some useless words only to make this post longer than it really has to be.

~see you better act fact because supplies they never last~

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