04-03-02

It's been 5 or 6 months since I've updated this webpage...I'd just like to mention that...that's a long time. I've forgotten how to do this. So don't be surprised if there are quite a few mistakes. I think I may catch everyone up on a lot of things. Like the fact that Kyle and I have been together for 1 year, 1 month, and 6 days. (I honestly didn't know to the exact day. I had to look at the calendar). So uh...let's start...somewhere in the middle...so try and keep up.

~vows of silence~

So um...I'm the assistant manager of Gadzooks now. I don't know if I ever put that on the page or not. I've been working full time and attempting to continue to spend a lot of time with my poor boyfriend (praise that Lord that he still puts up with me). I haven't been hanging out with anyone else really. It's mostly just me...and Kyle...and sometimes our family. He goes to school, and I go to work. And whenever we both have time off of our other activities...it's spent with each other. I think I've needed this time to myself and away from my friends. I don't know. It's given me a chance to figure out what my problems really are. And I'm learning how to deal with them. Sometimes I think that if I still hung out with the people I used to...I wouldn't be with Kyle anymore. Because I'd listen to all the hearsay and to other peoples opinions rather than my own. I think it's good that we've grown so close. He's my best friend. Practically my only friend. Anyhow, I stopped going to school after spring quarter last year. And I've just been working and trying to figure things out. Like you know...what I'm going to do with my life. Since I had one of those...epiphany thingys. And realized that film directing wasn't such a good plan. It wasn't much of a solid plan. Not at all. But I didn't really know what I wanted then. I wanted to get outta here. But...I don't know. I don't think my roots are quite ready to be ripped from there lovely home quite yet. Kirsten said something the other day that I thought was funny. She said it's something in the factory smoke (BP or whatever it is now) It's causing everyone to want to stay here even though this place sucks poo-nanny. I don't think I'm ready to leave. So I found something a little more realistic to aspire toward. I think I'm gonna be a teacher. Why not. Everyone else is. Why not me too. But recently (after I had this great idea a few months ago) I've been thinking about starting up my own business. I know there's a lot that goes into it than what I think there is. But what's life without surprises? I thought maybe I'd start on the internet (hell, my mom makes all kinds of jewelry and she's creating a webpage now to sell it. Why can't I?) So ya...then maybe if it works out pretty well, then I'll take the capital from that venture and start a small store around here. If that ends up successful, then I'll expand. But this is all on the drawing board right now. I'm not sure when I'll have time to work on it. So we'll see. But I'll be sure to let all of you know about it if I do try it out.

~everyday, I'm always stumbling for what to say~

So I went to see Dashboard Confessional in concert the other day. It was absolutely wonderful. I've been listening to him for a long time. Kyle got me into it about a year ago. And so it's strange to see his video on MTV. But Screaming Infidelities...has been one of my favorites since I started listening to Dashboard. It was odd to see him with a full band. Chris that is. I didn't really know about Further Seems Forever until after I'd been listening to The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most. So it was different. And these kids behind us at the show were so rude about it. They made comments all through his set like, "He needs to put that electric guitar away and kick all these other guys out." and "It's not REALLY Dashboard without an acoustic guitar." They were obnoxious. Finally Kyle turned around and said, "Guys. Seriously." They apologized, but went right back to talking. It was ridiculous. Later on after the show, we were all standing in the parking lot behind the venue and this kid walks up to Kyle. He holds out, I think Kyle said it was an Anniversary cd, (they had opened for Dashboard) and he asked Kyle to sign it. Now granted...it did look like were all circled around Kyle. And Kyle DOES have rock star hair. But I think the kid was stoned. Kyle said, "I'm not in the band." and the kid was like, "you're not in ANY band???" and Kyle said no. The kid said that it must have been Kyle's scarf that threw him off. So my boyfriend looks like a rock star. oh ya.

~sunfair blinds me, she's hysterical. Sunfair finds my heart breakable.~

Hmm, so what have I been listening to...Dashboard...obviously. Creeper Lagoon is good. The album called Take Back the Universe and Give me Yesterday. (sometimes I really love the videos at work). Uh, a lot of Saves the Day. (Their show was good too. I saw them awhile ago) I've been listening to non-stop Incubus. I started listening to them...actually Dan K. got me started when he sent me a copy of the acoustic I Miss You. That was back when Pardon Me came out. Then when they released Stellar as a single, I bought Make Yourself. Their recent album...Morning View was so great that I decided to go for some oldschool and I bought S.C.I.E.N.C.E. which is probably my favorite. I really get into the jazz and the slap bass makes me so happy. mmm. I love Incubus. I suppose it does help now that the lead singer looks so much like my boyfriend. I bought The Strokes album which isn't too bad. And Kyle is trying to get me into Mock Orange and Death Cab For Cutie. Hey Mercedes is good. And for some strange reason, I've been staying up late and watching BET soul. So I downloaded a bunch of Maxwell, Jill Scott, and India Arie. Another strange thing...I like the new Natalie Imbruglia song. So I had Kyle burn her first album for me. I know...it's very out of place. But I also dig Vanessa Carlton. Call me crazy...but it's the piano. I like the piano. And the videos at work have had a lot of Bomfunk MC's, and Basement Jaxx. So I downloaded and burned some of that too. So ya, I've got weird taste in music. It's a long stretch from my Silverchair obsession. But at least I'm not listening to Ja Rule. (KIR!!!)

~why bleeding is believing. You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room. Why bleeding is believeing. I used to.~

So we finally redecorated my bedroom. Since I'm 20 years old, and still living with my parents (there's a good explanation for that.) I guess it was time for an update. We took everything out, ripped up the carpet. Painted, and hung new fixtures. Then put new carpet in...and a tv (ooh) and a new computer desk. I got rid of my stupid old laptop and got a new computer which is frickin awesome. So I'm high-tech now. But the room is no longer purple (thank you God) it's off white. And I ended up replacing my old bed clothes. I got this neutral stripe thing going on. Which certainly beats the floral deco from before. So I've been up to something other than just work I suppose. I was even going to take classes this spring quarter over at the branch. But somehow (even though I thought I'd gone in early enough) all the classes I could take (schedule conflict etc) were full except a night sociology course. And they were going to charge me $500 just for one class. When it's only like $1500 if you're full time and taking 3 or 4 classes. So hopefully I can work something out for summer quarter. That would be nice. Cause I'm tired of everyone thinking (as soon as I say I'm taking a few quarters off of school) that I'm not going back. I am going back. But it's hard when you get used to making full time money. And you've racked up so many bills because you're a high risk driver, and have no luck with cars breaking down on you. And oh...not to mention the billion dollar wedding shower that I'm throwing for my cousin Kiersten. She's tying the knot this summer in July. I don't really want to talk about that though. Anyhow, the point is, I have a lot of bills. A lot of debt...and not so much money. I want to catch up. And if I going full time school, then the boss said something about cutting back my hours. And that means less money. Me no likey this idea. So, moving on. (before I get too frustrated.)

~say it aint so~

So I haven't been reading much lately. I think I'm avoiding books. Because when I get started, I don't want to stop until I'm finished. And I definitely do not have the time to sit down and read chapters at a time. But when I do have a little extra time, I catch a bit of tv. Unfortunately, I still watch too much MTV. And it's a sad thing. But not near as much as I used to. Because when I have time, it's late at night and that's when they show re-runs of stupid shows like Dis-missed. Although I really enjoy The Osbournes. It's absolutely hilarious. And I can't get enough of it. I watch a lot of late shows. Leno and Conan. And Howard Stern. (ugh I don't know why) But I'm going to stop talking about what I watch on tv now. I can't think of anything else to talk about.

~~

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