03-29-00 Wednesday


Guess what night it is!!! Youth Group night! And not just ANY Youth Group night. It's Outreach night. It's going to be extremely emotional. I'm emotional enough. I just started crying. (Like a half an hour ago) for no reason really. I was reading some poetry and listening to a sappy song. It just hit me all of a sudden. I'm still in shock. hmm... but I changed the music choice. I think a little Silverchair will dry the eyes.

~Families being torn apart. Doesn't have to be this way.~

I don't know what's up with Jason. I've messaged him like 5 times. and not one reply. It's like one minute, I didn't have to message him. As soon as I got on-line, he would send me something. Now all of a sudden...Nothing. But that's how it is with me. It's either feast or famine. One minute I've got guys all over me, and the next, I have no one. I suppose that's how it's always been. I've never been a big relationship person. My longest relationship was 2 months. It really makes me laugh though. I'm destined to be single. That's how I like to describe myself. Independent Bitch...I have no idea of how or what a relationship should be. Completely in the dark...There are times when I get really depressed about it. and then there are times when I'm glad that I'm single. I don't know. It's complex really.

~It's like the candle's lit at both ends now.~

*sigh* We leave for our big choir tour tomorrow. (it's not big) I have the job fair at the civic center in the morning right after 1st period, we get back at approx. 11:00am. Then I have math class, studyhall, lunch...part of history, then we leave at 2:00. All I have to do tomorrow is sit through math...(blah) and take a few history notes. woopie! But, I'll be gone until late Saturday night. If anything REALLY exciting happens, I may update. (Highly doubtful) I probably won't be on again until Sunday. I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures. (for Jason) and if I can get my scanner to work right, I might even put a few up. As for now, I'm off to Wee Wee's. (that would be Nicole)

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