The neonhellbeast strikes again


03-28-03

~things swiftly come and go~

And the horrors of my life continue to haunt me everyday. I never catch a break. So after I got home from CT, my car (neonhellbeast) was ok. Granted it needed a good oil change. Maybe a tune up. I drove it a few times. To go over to Laurie's, and I went to the mall once. I get in it one day and attempt to pull out of the driveway. All of a sudden I hear this God awful grinding/scratching noise. My first thought was that my brakes were going out. Nice right? So I yelled for the resident car guy. (DADDY!) He said it sounded like the passenger rear break was grinding. Well, he told me awhile ago that it was no longer his responsibility to fix my lame ass car. So I'm like, well shit. I have no money. (ok, a little bit) And now I have to take this thing to a pro. I don't like mechanics. I hate them all in fact. I've had so many car people screw me over in past situations. They're evil. You tell them one thing, and they fix something else (or Lord only knows what they're really doing when they have your car for a week) And then they charge you obscene amounts of money and put your ass in debt to your mother for f'n forever. (ya, mommy pays for it) Anyhow, I've been bumming rides off of everyone and I feel like an asshole.

~I won't worry my life away~

So amazingly, day before yesterday, daddy had to change the brakes on his car, so he offered to take a look at mine. (if I helped) I was the "handmethis" girl. He takes the f'n tire off, and pulls the brake case apart. (a pain in the ass cause it was rusty) But to our surprise, the brakes were fine. So he pulls the wheel bearing out. It was jiggly. So he said that's the problem. I need a new wheel bearing. And he said it's approx. $100. *sigh* So mom and I made a little trip to the car part store yesterday afternoon, and ordered the damn part. It was $65. This is where I pause to say that I hate cars. I have never had a car that didn't have serious problems. (I've had 7 cars) I think they make cars just to piss people off. Either you're against pollution, or you end up with a headache because the problems just never stop. The upkeep on those things is ridiculous. I was happy with the neon. Every car I had before it was old/slow/huge etc. So it was nice to have a cute little purple zippy car.

~things you're feeling aren't normal now~

Ok, the part came in this morning. So mom and I went and picked it up. I decided that I'd observed my dad take the damn thing apart not 2 days ago, so I can do it too. How hard can it be right? After calling my father twice to figure out where certain tools are in his workshop, he was pretty pissed off. He and the guys that he works with had a pool going. How far is Laura gonna get before her tire falls off. I think the farthest they said was the end of the driveway. He told me to just wait til he got home. But I heard that we're supposed to get rain today. I wanted to get it done NOW! I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm the most impatient person I know. But anyhow, after a lot of cursing and 3 smokes, I finally got the damn thing apart. We changed the bearing. Had a bit of a tussle with the greasegun. (by this time, my pants are filthy. And my hands are caked with grime) So we put everything back together, and fought with the hub cap a little. And we were cheering. Hell ya, girls can fix cars. Girls rule! Dropped the hellbeast back down off the jack. And I made mom pull it out of the garage. (she was significantly less dirty than I was, and I figured, why not let mom be the one to be driving the car when the wheel flies off.) Here's where I almost freaking shot myself. She pulls out of the workshop, and the fucker was still grinding. So I got my ass in the car and pulled it up and down the driveway while mom laid on the ground to see what the hell was making that terrible noise. She starting laughing uncontrollably and told me to stop. So I got out, and she pulled a fuckin' stick out from under the hellbeast's wheel well.

~this is for my girls all around the world who have come across a man that don't respect your worth~

$65 and 4 greasy frustrated hands later, I've concluded that a: men are stupid and b: men are stupid. If we had only done that in the first place. I should have looked myself. But I've been trained to feel like I know nothing about cars and I should shut my mouth and deal with it. Think about what would have happened if I'd taken it to a professional. Either they would have found the stick and made me feel retarded, or they would have found the stick and worked on the car anyway and charged me. Needless to say, I feel stupid anyway. And this was a huge waste of time. I drove the minivan for a week for nothing. I was an inconvenience to my friends for nothing. *sigh* But it was pretty f'n hilarious.

~the comedy is that it's serious...~

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