Reconstruction


03-27-03

~the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words I say the tragedy is how youre gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end. I wont worry my life away.~

Oh, I'm a filthy girl. It's already 4:30pm and I haven't showered. I promise I will at one point in time today. I just need a bit of motivation. I've been too busy buying expensive parts to fix my mode of transportation that I like to call neonhellbeast. And I've been blinding myself with the pixels on this computer screen. Attempting to read some fascinating boys journal. (Jason Mraz) What is it with singer/songwriter boys? They're just so damned sensitive and interesting. Forcing me to break out Dave Matthews and smoke uncontrollably. And such is my day.

~everything good needs replacing~

So, I've realized that by updating this site, I'm really updating my life. so to speak. God there's someone at the door. Oh the frozen meat man. (that's great I just dropped my smoke on my f'n Juliana cd.) ah yes, the man who comes bearing cow parts in icicle form. He just got to see me in all my unkept glory. But, I digress. I've been putting a whole new face on the internet, and it feels like I've given myself (my person) a lifemakeover. Just a new way of dealing with emotions and all that comes with adjusting after heartbreak. (and gagging up large amounts of nose fluids ugh) Moving up and onward with lessons learned in hand toward whatever I may be faced with in this not too near future. And then there's the drama at hand. Life is much too short to think that the drama might possibly end. Instead I'm taking it in. And laughing about what the town has to say about the little girl who failed. Who continues to make mistakes everyday and who always will. It's how things are done around here. You do something, and the next day, you hear a totally different story of what actually occured.

~lately I've been feeling low...what I want is what I've not got, and what I need is all around me~

It helps that I have an entertaining family. I told my mother about the meat man coming to pawn off his parts of cow. She said she was glad that she wasn't here. Cause he's a greedy meatpusher. So I asked "you don't want his meat???" and she replied, "not the mans meat no." And while this conversation was going on, in walks my brothers friend Troy who laughs at the underlying meaning of "meat". He says, I know why I hang out here so much. You guys are crazy in the schmegheggie. And yes, I agree. But that's a good thing. And with nothing of any importance to say, I'm going to finally wash away the smell of which I'm starting to notice. (that's when you know it's bad)

when I asked Troy for a quote of the day, suggesting maybe some words of wisdom he said, "You aint gettin' that from me."

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