You don't know me but I know you...


06-29-03

~Good day sunlight, I'd like to say how truly bright you are. You don't know me but I know you see, you're my favorite star.~

So someone finally admitted to reading my website...Laurie told me she read up a bit the other day. Not really what I was going for...but it's still good to know. Out of boredom, she must have gotten her computer to work. Everyone is gone...Nicole and Casey are on their honeymoon. Steve WAS down in Kentucky with the boys. So she was bored. Openly admitted it. I love that she reads out of boredom. I would much rather prefer people read because of that rather than to see how many times I dropped their name. But, since someone fessed up, I'll give a little and talk about what I did today. But that's it. That's all you get.

~I would if I could, I would do oh anything spontainiously.~

So before Laurie called and convinced me to hang out with her, I was working on a letter to Tim. I don't know what's caused this sudden urge to spill out everything I feel, felt...whatever. But I want to just let it all go. And the best way I have to do that is to write it all down. So I've been doing that for awhile now, and it's just not satisfactory. Which is why I'm writing this letter. It seems like a wasted attempt but the IM's haven't worked, the e-mails have seen no reply so...why not take extra care to say things right and send it snail mail to make sure he gets it. I don't know. I think now that I've settled my issues with the Kyle situation, I have need to finish settling issues with Tim. And since all of this stuff has come up lately...the whole "post-Tim experiences"...I thought now would be better than ever to severe the ties. psssht. It's pointless I know. But when did anything I've done have a point?

~You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine...~

It took me about an hour for the first draft of this so called letter. Then Laurie interrupted me thankfully for some silly stoner hijinks. We watched Ernest: Scared Silly. Or something like that. You know it wouldn't have been funny otherwise. She brought me home around 9ish so I went back to my letter. Re-read the draft...balled it up and threw it away. I've since made 3 more drafts. And all of them have ended up with the same fate. I don't know what it is exactly that I'm trying to say. I don't know how to say what I want to say. I even put on my lucky hat...didn't help. I've smoked countless cigarettes, and wasted so many trees. And I'm still at the drawing board. I'm this close to either making a spider graph detailing the issues I'm trying to address and THEN attempting another draft or just giving up. One of the two. Cause I'm getting nowhere and it's already 12:30. But I just stupidly drank a cup of french vanilla coffee and now I'm wide awake. Not too smart on the eve of "pounding the streets for a job day". But I've successfully fallen asleep at 2amish the past few nights and got up around noon. That's good enough for me.

~Something like, I apologize. Something I still can't decide. But I know it gets better. It only gets better.~

That's it! I figured it out. So that's all you get tonight. I've got a letter to finish. And don't think you're off the hook. I'm still waiting for some fesser uppers.

~I wish you would think twice on me. It only gets better.~

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Email: holyrevelry@hotmail.com