Harder to Breathe


06-10-03

~I listened in through hallways and thin doors...~

Oh for pete's sake we're back to procrastination again. No, I haven't done jack squat about going out and getting a fucking job. I take that back. I've looked through quite a few classifieds. I've made lists of places that are looking for someone with my qualifications. But honestly, I know why I haven't taken any initiative to go to any of these places and leave a resume. None of them are really...me. Nothing I've seen so far has impressed me or made me think, "oh wow, that would be a good job". I'm completely and utterly disillusioned with the job world because the last 2 jobs that I had and liked, I ended up leaving. One on my own free will and the other because I had to get out of Connecticut. I liked my job at Journeys. I was the boss. I made my hours, I hired and fired. I liked the people that I worked with there. It was fun. I wore whatever the hell I wanted. I came and went as I pleased. I could dance around, sing and act like a fool. I could jump off of chairs, and climb on the counter if I wanted to. But I left there so I could go to CT. Then I found Gem Jewelry. Which was fun. Because the people there were silly and stuck up. But they were good to me. They really helped me through a hard time. I was interested in jewelry and liked everyone. I got to play dress up and look professional everyday and my boss was a really nice guy. But I had to leave there because I came back home. So now...I hate jobs. I'll never find one that's as good as either of those two. I'd rather sit on my ass all day, munch on junk food and watch daytime tv. That's a lie. I hate that too. But I'm just really frustrated with the whole thing. I need to start from a clean slate. I think once this weekend is over, that'll be much easier to do.

~I believe in love. I still wish on the stars above...~

So, Rob called me today and informed me that he can join me for the Jason Mraz show on Thursday!!! No one knows just how excited I am for this show. Seriously. I need a refresher. A really good night, a great show, incredible music, maybe meet the man himself. (wink wink) Turn the music up really loud in my car on the drive home and scream out lyrics on the highway. Stop at the exit 15 wafflehouse. If not for food than at least coffee because it's tradition. mmm, Bogarts! Yes, and that will also be a great way to relieve stress before the events that will be taking place on Saturday. I'm not even going to talk about it anymore. Because the more I think about it, the more I anticipate the worst.

~Never know how long I have waited...anticipated your smile pressed against mine.~

So I was sitting over at Laurie's the other night. Kirsten had stopped by to pick up some of her stuff. Since she's moving to Columbus...I knew how it would be. Some things never change. We fight...stop speaking. No one knows who is mad at who. People pick sides...then months later, we run into each other and it's like nothing happened. Nothing new, I know the routine. So she's leaving for a week in California tomorrow. Then 2 days back here...and it's off for Columbus. Summer classes at main campus OSU. I will predict her future now...she'll go down there, finish up school, meet someone, settle down and have a kid. (just one) She'll never be satisfied with her degree. Probably go back to school for something else...and write a best seller. That was a day of hanging out with old friends...Channie called me out of the blue. She wanted my address so she can send me an invitation for her wedding. She's such a crazy girl. I miss hanging out with Channie...so I plan on doing it more now that we're chums again. She came over to Laurie's too. We all hung out and had some dirty conversation. It was a good time. So, my prediction for Channie's future...she'll marry aaron, they'll have a rough start financially because of medical school bills. But Channie will have a baby or two, Aaron will become an extremely well paid doctor and I'll freeload off of them for the rest of their lives (just kidding). No, they'll be together forever and have beautiful blonde children...short but very very blonde. I hate knowing that I'm going to be the last one of my group of friends to settle down. But at the same time, I'm happy for everyone else. It's a very sharp double edged sword. One of these days I'm just gonna run myself through with it!

~blue skies, they smilin' at me and that's my favorite melody.~

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