It Only Gets Better


06-03-03

~blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground~

We'll start this one off with a sigh. And then we'll talk about the infinate stupidity that is my job situation. Laurie still hasn't found out if I got the job with her at CIC. She's supposed to find out tomorrow. I had a conversation with the dudes at the cyber cafe today. For the first time in 2 weeks. I went in there and talked to some guy named Brian. New to me...but I've talked to a different guy practically every time I've gone in there, and no one seems to know what the hell is going on. He gave me the runaround. Something about reconstructing their employee roster blah blah blah. They won't know if I'm needed until next week Tuesday. WTF?!?! So I told him that I'm getting a call about another job tomorrow...and he's like, "oh, well...I'll talk to Tom. We'll call you tomorrow." ok...whatever dude. That's what Tom said 2 weeks ago and I have yet to hear from him. DIE! (that was completely unnecessary but it made me feel better) Don't get me wrong here. But I don't know what the hell to do. A job is a job. It's money in my pocket and less bills to worry about. But neither one of these is really my ideal venture. Sure, CIC is good hours. Your typical 9-6 which is great. But it's not really my style. Sitting at a desk all day nagging people over the phone because they owe money. I mean...my customer service skills are excellent but I'm not an intimidating person. People are gonna look at me and laugh. Then this cyber gig...don't even get me started. I hate the mall. Mall hours suck ass. These guys don't really sound like they've got their shit together at all. But it's really different. And the atmosphere of the store is cool. I don't fucking know. Somebody tell me what to do. I'm tired of making decisions. I just want to do something. ANYTHING!!! Get my ass away from this computer.

~It reminded me that you're so worth the fight...~

I've been e-mailing with this girl from Kentucky. My mom met her through one of her chat boards. She's like, "you guys have similar interests". We do...and similar current problems. So I've been talking to her for the passed couple of days about all this crap. It's therapy...she's going through some crap with her ex-boyfriend. I guess she was really broken up about it. And still loves him. Hmmm, sound familiar? I told her about my Kyle dream. And she's had some really odd dreams about her X too. Just strange correlations. Interesting, that it is. Her social situation is a little bit less exciting than mine. I'm trying to convince her to hit the Mraz show with me on the 12th. Did I mention that before? I finally got tickets. Excited? You bet your bottom dollar Suzie Q! That's one thing to look forward to. I just hope it doesn't cause a problem with whatever job I do or do not find.

~It's so much better when everyone is in. Are you in?~

The wedding is coming up mighty fast folks. I still don't know what to think about it. I was watching Will and Grace the other night...(hahaha I'm lame) and their gay friends were getting married. Ok, point...where did it go? Oh, they were at the wedding and Will said something like, "Ya, they're so cute and happy. It just makes me bitter." HELLO! I laughed for like 20 minutes on that statement alone. Can I relate to that. Ugh. How true it is for the young single girl to feel less than adequate when all of her friends are engaged, married, or in a 6 year committed relationship. PLUS the simple fact that my ex-boyfriend who I miss so much and just about shoot myself in the head for letting him go everyday of my pitiful life will be there. Most likely with his girlfriend. Can it get any better? Can I BE anymore sarcastic??? Somebody pinch me cause I think I'm officially in hell.

~love is a riddled madness...~

06-04-03 3:28am

So, I just got off the phone with Jesse. That was interesting. But the issue is finally settled and laid to rest. Strictly friends...easier on the soul. Gladly now, I do feel much more comfortable dealing with all the other crap. Like the current conversation. It's really hard to focus on this and chat with Ben. Because he's a firecracker. I never know what he's going to say next. Surprisingly true. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should invite him to join me in the wedding festivities. Not only is there a questionable answer as to whether I should bring a date at all. But I don't really feel so comfortable about asking Ben. Just for fear of what he'd say. Sometimes I just don't know about that boy. I just don't know. And there's really no one else to bring. Everyone else is going. I was just about to ask myself why everything I do has to be so hard. But I answered my own question before I had it typed. Everything must be overly thought out and dramatic. It's a wonderful process. Ok, I'm talking out of my ass. I've had WAY too much caffeine today and nothing to compensate for it's liquidy goodness. I honestly can't remember if I've eaten anything in the passed 24 hours. And I officially have a killer headache from talking on the cell phone. Radiation...brain numbing. And my tummy is rumbling. So I'm off to fetch some food, finish up this lame ass surface bullshit conversation with Ben and then to bed with me. Goodnight!

~and if I die, well at least I tried~

HOME
BACK

Email: holyrevelry@hotmail.com