I won't resist


06-02-03

~Well I'm feelin' lucky oh well maybe it's just me.~

Looky Looky!!! I archived May. Fuck May, it's over. It's June now, and yet it's still chilly. I've been layering t-shirts, yuck. My burn is fading but itching like a bitch the whole way. And I've begun to peel. That's hot let me tell you. At least I can sit down without much pain. How fortunate! And I can shower properly. Showers are extremely painful when half of your body is 2nd degree burned. I even blistered a little. But it's better now. I haven't been updating everyone on the details of my tanning accident. mmm...this is going nowhere. New topic!

~Love, Love is not pretending. Time, time is meant for mending...~

So what else have I been up to? Lots of dramatic encounters. I was attempting to help the move over at Laurie's. I don't know if I explained this before...I don't think so. Ok, Nicole and Kacey were trying to get a loan for this house. (they've been renting) Since their wedding is so close...the 14th. Everything has been kind of chaotic. But at the last minute, they weren't approved for the loan. So Kacey asked Laurie if her offer still stood. I guess she suggested once that they could rent part of her house. (It's frickin' huge. Technically a tri-plex...) So they decided that it would work out. And like I said, last minute...So Laurie is giving them the front part of the house which would be the part that she was occupying. They needed to move in asap because everybody is working and busy. They have to be out of their place by the 15th which is the weekend of the wedding...so this was pretty much the last weekend they had to move. I think that's the story. But I went over there on Saturday and there was a large group of people there. Not really doing anything. Rob...who I'd had a huge conversation with on Friday night. He brought Adam and Gerti over. So that was like a blast from the past. Then Steve invited Dave over. I honestly could have happily lived my life without ever seeing him again. Dave is just one of those people from high school that knew EVERY button to push. But I've been over that for so long now. It was just ridiculous. He flipped me off about 40 million times. I either ignored it or flipped him off right back. I just didn't even care. Later that night, a bunch of other people came over. Rob and the "younger crowd" left. And we all just chilled. Laurie passed out as usual. And once Nicole and Kacey left, I just wasn't having a good time anymore. In fact, I was irritated and ya, I left. I have a VERY small group of friends. There are just so many people that I can handle. And the majority of the people there...Steve and Dave and their high school antics. Matt, who didn't seem like he was enjoying himself there right before I left. Matt's friend Andy...who wasn't that bad. Dave's girlfriend who didn't talk much. Davey...who just sat there and laughed at everybody. And Chad...I don't know. I was in a terrible mood in the first place. Not the type of party mood that I would have needed to enjoy that situation. I've decided that there's no more partying until I get back into an all around good mood. Which will involve getting a job.

~How can we get lost, runnin' in a straight line?~

That's right...Still no jobby. I was this close. And I don't know what's wrong with these computer guys...they just never called me back. So Laurie and I are going to work together. She should call me sometime today with the news. The only reason I can think why she may not have called me yet is because her boss is there. And if that's the case...she may call me and tell me to come out there and fill out paperwork with this guy. If that happens, I hope she gives me enough notice. I haven't hit the showers yet...laundry is being washed...and I don't want to freeze my ass off.

~So you say it gets better. It only gets better.~

I completely forgot to mention another strange encounter that happened the weekend that Jesse was here. Laurie, Steve, Jess and I went to BW3 for supper one night. And out of nowhere, Kellie walked in with her new boyfriend. I waved to her. She came over to our table and said hi. We had a pretty decent conversation for not speaking to each other for over 9 months. She's moving down to Florida soon. And suggested we all get together one last time before she leaves. I miss Kellie's parties. That was good fun at the time. Too bad the majority of the people who attended those parties pretty much hate me now. True story...I've thought about calling her. We exchanged numbers and shit. I'm sure it's going to take my attempt at getting together though. Just one last hoorah. It would have to be a neutral location...so maybe a bar. I always hate to ask Laurie about her house. It's rude of me. I wouldn't exclude anyone though. As I was excluded from all parties at Kellie's once the shit hit the fan. That's how it happened. I was their friend supposedly. I brought Kyle around into that scene. And yet...Laura and Kyle break up so who gets invited to the parties??? Kyle and his new girlfriend. Of course. That makes perfect sense. I'm not bitter. (laughing) But seriously. I'm beyond that now. I would say...any of Kellie's friends are invited. Because it's her fairwell. Not mine. Erin, Sean, Kirsten, whoever she works with at Applebees. Her new boyfriend...Shannon, all the old Gadzooks crew. Why the hell not. I'll have to call her about that later. Now on to the "problem" at hand.

~Girls don't like boys. Girls like cars and money.~

What to wear to Nicole's wedding. It's totally casual which is excellent. I'll probably just end up wearing khakis and a shirt. I was talking to Rob about taking a date to the festivities. But after that conversation, I don't really think it's necessary. I guess I didn't realize that he would be there and a bunch of other people that I'd enjoy talking to would also be attending. I don't think I'd want to entertain a guest of my own. It's not about that. I wanted someone to keep me occupied so I wouldn't focus on other certain members of the wedding party. Who, and I'm just assuming, will be bringing a date of his own. Which I honestly don't believe is a good idea. For the same reason that I'm not bringing a date. Because this isn't about me. I refuse to make it that way. Although I would love to lock him in a room and finally get my chance to spill. It's just not going to happen. I'm confrontational, and no one else in this world is. Instead of constantly dwelling on things, I'd much rather face them and get it over with. Why can't this all just have a happy ending??? So...what to wear?

~I was lost, I was lost. Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed. I was lost. How long must you wait for it? How long must you pay for it? I was scared, I was scared. Tired and underprepared. But I'll wait for it. And if you go, if you go and leave me down here on my own, then I'll wait for you.~

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