07-20-00 Thursday
I'm going to start with a bunch of junk from my notebook journal. It might be a little confusing. I'll try and clean it up.
Nicole called 3 times yesterday. She wanted to dye her hair and thought it would be super fun to dye James hair too. So I called James. He was attempting to cook...he, Andrew, and Matt were all at his house. And he couldn't leave because he had to watch his brother. I decided to run out and wait for Nicole until she got off of work, and then drag her to James house with me. When we finally got there...Andrew had left to take Goo home. Nicole asked James about the necklace I made for her...James said Andrew has it. So we waited around for Andrew to get back so we could take the necklace...and so Nicole could go home and change out of her work attire. Eventually, she got uncomfortable (after wearing a pair of James shorts and one of his t-shirts) So we told him to call us at Nicole's when Andrew got back. It took forever...and NIcole made plans with Tyler to go see a movie. So we went back to James house. Mainly because my car was there. We sat around some more...but Andrew didn't come back. (apparently he made plans to go swimming at a friend of a friends house.) He told James on the phone that he'd give back the necklace...but he wanted me to make one for him too. So we're lounging on James porch...suddenly of all people...I see MR. HOTTIEPANTS riding down the street notoriously on that red mountain bike. I jumped up and told Nicole who it was. She looked at him...and proceeded to say that he looked like a dirty bum. James also piped in. Informing me that he, Goo, and Andrew had noticed him earlier and Goo and James (who both read this) looked at each other...and with my description, decided that it MUST be Hottiepants. Then they bashed him. Saying I have terrible taste with the exception of Andrew...Cause Andrew's sexy. So I felt the need to defend myself. Explaining that if I had a chance with better looking guys, then I would obviously go after them. But seeing as those types of guys brutally reject me (prime example = Andrew) I've lowered my standards. So James is chalking this up to me being delirious because I can't have Andrew. Right. Somehow we got to a point in the conversation where James told me I should just make out with Andrew, because he doesn't think he'd mind. Wait a tick! That's a bit hypocritical. I dont' agree with using physical contact as an excuse to get closer to someone. I was actaully thinking about that. If what I was looking for...was jsut another guy to make out with...I could have that...anytime I want. But it's NOT what I'm looking for. Honestly...I DON'T want Hottiepants. I just enjoy stating that I find him attractive, and that by some freak coincidence, I see him EVERYWHERE! Now on the other hand, I DO like Andrew. Still. and it's hard for me to get over the fact that he doesn't like me. And it's not fair for me to think that he'd be willing to make out...but not commit. That's a bunch of crap. Making out with him would only involve even more emotions. I'd make it out to be more than what he would...and then I'd get upset. Because wanting isn't having.
~you took me by surprise when you turned and looked me in my eyes. boy you really blew my mind~
I went to the mall with Kristy today. And ran into a bunch of people that I USED to know. Like Laura W. I met her back in the day when we went to the FAT concert. She's one of Jen's friends. I also ran into this guy I knew from Teenact. DJ...he was a pest. But we went into American Eagle where he works...and I guess Kristy knows him too. He asked me my name...and I told him. Then I said, "ya. I know you DJ" it was kinda strange. He's all ghetto now. When I knew him...everyone thought he was gay...only because he'd been in gymnastics and dance since he was little. But now he's all gangstafied. But Kristy and I talked about a lot of things. Mostly about her man JR, and Andrew. It was funny. When she dropped me off, she mentioned being hungry. So jokingly, I suggested Happy DAZ. (that's where Andrew works) and she said ya. that actually sounded good. So she decided to go yell at Andrew for being a punk. I went with Nicole to this thing at Body Genics...and we both ended up getting memberships. Later we both agreed that hearing James, Goo and Andrew talking about getting buff was making us jealous. We wanted to go work out too. So now we are. YA! We're gonna get inseperable. it's scary. We work together...and now we're going to workout together...scary. I've been working on my tan lately too. Soon I'm gonna be buff and tan like Andrew. Which means -I- get to be a ken doll too!
~I'd do anything if I could be where you are~
HOME
CONFLICTS