01-10-01 Wednesday

~My lover's gone.~

So let's see, the show...The Strive for Conviction show. That day...started with my needing to go to Meijer. I called Rob to see if he wanted to go. He of course did. So we went to Meijer then the mall, then for lunch at Kewpee. We went to the Stubb's house and chilled over there...then packed up all the stuff...(this would be Aj, Rob, Jared, and I) we drove everything over to Cairo gym, unloaded and set everything back up. It was cool just hanging out with those boys...but AJ had to leave for pep band, and other than setting a few other things up, everything was done. So I came home for about an hour. I got on to check my mail and ended up talking a bit with both Adam and Jon on ICQ. Adam asked if I could cme pick him up, and Jon asked if I was going to the show. So I went to get Adam, and we drove back over to the gym. This is when things started to go downhill. I get there and walk in the back door. (cause that's how we'd got in before.) And Ben (Jon's younger brother who's in the band...although he hadn't helped bring ANYTHING to the gym) ya, Ben starts in with, "how'd you get in? did you pay? Somebody lock that door." He kept asking if I'd paid to get in...#1 it was only $2. and I would have paid...if Jared hadn't said something about the people who'd helped shouldn't have to pay. #2 Ben was just being a jerk about the whole thing...like they're some kind of famous band or something...no one can enter the gym until after they warm up. After that was over...after a few other minor problems...the night was pretty ok. I had a talk with Eric about something I like to call "boy logic". Let me explain. I went backstage and found a soda bottle wedged into this scaffolding. Like the mouth part was in a hole in the end of one of the bars. So I look at Eric and asked if he knew who did it. He said that he put it there. I asked why, and he said because it fit. I laughed and said...that's boy logic. A girl would never have thought of that. I also found that Jon talked to me on ICQ BEFORE the show...but at the show, he didn't speak directly to me at all. Another thing...I guess gossip travels pretty quickly through that group of boys cause Rich brought up the fact that I went out on a date with..."someone you went to school with" he couldn't quite remember the whole thing. He asked who...and it was funny, cause Jon was standing right behind him. I told him to turn around. And he was like, "Jon?!?!" and I said ya. Then later he asked if we were dating...or if we just went on a date once. It was pretty ridiculous. After the show, a bunch of us went to Arbys. I wasn't in a very good mood...

~I want to be a hunter again. I want to see the world alone again.~

James and Goo stopped by last night while I was watching Buffy. And I'm really upset about this. It was cool...they came over. But the first thing they did was attack my brother's nintendo stuff. First it was the cordless controllers then the games that were on the floor. Right after they left, my brother came in the room looking for his No Mercy wrestling game. One he plays...OFTEN. I told them not to mess with any of it. Thay always ask to borrow stuff...and it's not mine or I might met them. Obviously, the game is gone. And he's pissed. He's been threatening to tell my parents...which is like...I'm 19 and that's just stupid. But it's not my fault. If one of them took it...they need to fess up and return it. Seriously. The same thing happened not too long ago with the Best of ACDC cd...I still can't find that. It's my dad's...and we listened to it one night in the living room stereo...it's been missing since that night. This is getting pretty stupid. and if I don't get that game back...asap, someone's gettin' it.

~would you be wise enough to let me go?~

The past couple days of classes have been good. It's hard to get up that early sometimes. But I'm getting used to it again. My theatre class has been pretty fun. All the guys crack me up. Today was exceptionally funny. We stretch and then do "exercises" like pantomime and what not. Today's big exercises were the mirror, and this stepping on feet thing. It's hard to explain. We paired off...I asked Kris to be my partner (this would be Nala) So we went back stage and figured out our scenerio...we were two cheerleaders going for the coveted head cheerleader position. The whole point was, we had to have some sort of confrontation so that each of us were trying to step on each others feet. Anyhow, we both come out and walk toward each other...I said, "what's your problem? Who do you think you are trying to take my spot on the squad" or something like that, and she said, "It's NOT your spot. I've wanted it forever." and I said, "well girlfriend, you can't have it..." she said something about me sleeping with the whole football team...and I said her skirt was too short and her spankies were ahnging out all over the place. Then our prof cut us off. We weren't trying to stomp on feet enough. So we started over. It was pretty much the same beginning but after she said she wanted the spot forever, I said my boyfriend was the quarterback on the football team and so I should be head cheerleader. And she said the thing about me sleeping with the whole team and I said her skirt was all the way up to her neck. EVERYONE was laughing...it was so awful. I felt bad. But that was it. Cause I stepped on her foot. The whole time, all I could see out of the corner of my eye was Chris and Brad...one of them said, "pull her hair" or something about a cat fight. It's been strange like that...mostly with Brad. His random conversations...and both Lisa and I have noticed that he stares...it's weird. I catch him looking at me a lot. And the next time I do, I'm gonna stick my tongue out. It'll be funny. I was sitting in the lobby earlier today, with my legs crossed, and he kicked my foot and uncrossed my legs. I said, "good job". We talked about Jackass right before Lisa and I left for Hunan...He has Johnny Noxville glasses...so he looks at me and says, "hi I'm Johnny Noxville, and this is poo diving." It was pretty funny. Then I said something about Extreme Scootin' (my favorite....) I don't know. Night Monkey was good too. Anyhow, Lisa and I decided to go to the movies hopefully Friday. We're gonna invite Chris and Brad...cause we wanna see Save the Last Dance. And Chris is big on dancing. I think it would be good fun. Just because I don't have any friends any more, and I need to make more. (it's a long story, and it's a touchy subject...I have friends...but not close friends...and it's complicated)

~All you want is right here in this room~

So there's this big Michigan business trip being planned. I'm going to Michigan with my boss. After I heard about it, I thought...Jesse lives in Mich. Oh my gosh! I could have him meet me somewhere...it's perfect. I told him about it, and he's all for it. Even though...it changed from being a 3 day thing to a 1 day thing...I talked to Kim, and she said it's cool. She'll make sure her day off is the day after the trip, so we'll stay the night...and I can meet Jess. I'm so excited about this. It's going down the beginning of Feb. So...we'll see. I guess.

~All you need is sitting here with you~

Other than that...it's been class after class and working...lots of reading...some guy signed the guestbook...John Paul. And he's tired of hearing me talk about guys. Well, let's give him a reason to be tired of it. Currently, there's high pitch boy...in my poetry class. He drives a white lebaron convertible...I saw him leave the parking lot yesterday...and there's this cute (in my opinion of course) guy in choir...but he seems like the quiet type...I don't think he'd talk to me if I tried. I thought about it today when he was complaining about car trouble in the lobby. I was going to offer to help. I have all kinds of car trouble...so I think I'm the expert. And there's also the other hot guy in poetry...He's got the most attractive mouth. Hmm, what about all the other good looking guys I'm surrounded by...like Tony, Ben, Chris, Brad, or the other 9 million boys I see walking around campus. And there's always Crazy Jon...I saw him today for the first time this quarter. I was strutting out to the car with Lisa...and someone beeped...I turn around and there's the green gator. (these carts that the grounds people ride around in) There's Jon...waving and grinning. So I waved. Then walked away. Not really trying to be rude. I just don't know what to do. Ok...is that enough about silly boys yet? I think so. That's enough period. I'm finished.

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