02-09-00 Wednesday

*sigh*
Everyone is talking about me in their journals this week. So I obviously need to clear a few things up. On the 4th, I blew some steam about my situation with Kir. and I don't regret it one bit. but like Jen mentioned in her last entry, not everyone takes things the same way. and thankfully, Kir and I haven't been negative toward each other. (mostly because I don't want to start another big fight) Her friendship is extremely important to me. That's why I get a little crazy when things change. She was talking about how she missed talking with Triple-K, and that's how I feel with her... (not exactly but kind of) and what I want her to understand is, I feel like I've been absolutely excluded from her "new" group of friends and all of their activities. My gosh! She hangs out with and talks to my ex-boyfriend more than me. I'm jealous. It almost seems as though I'm not "good enough" to be invited to all of their get togethers. and what fuels the fire is her new attitude. (which hasn't changed much) she's always been the type to believe she's always right. but now it's not only that, it's, "I'm right because I'm a Christian". and that REALLY bothers me. I cringe when she starts in with it because I don't want to go off. Like today in lunch, she said something... (don't remember exactly) but I had to turn around to my friend Joe and squeeze the crap out of his arm. It's stupid and annoying. I love her like a sister... but this is the ultimate annoyance. It's ridiculous.

~it could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard. Loving you is like
a battle, and we both end up with scars~

I called Dan last night to invite him to TFC. But I guess he busted a rib last weekend snowboarding. Plus, he had to watch his little brother... Plus, he said he wouldn't go anyway. He really doesn't dig that kind of thing. (BTW he is a Christian, and he is saved) We had another long conversation. and it still amazes me just how much we're alike. He explained what happened with Danae. He said that they were looking for 2 different things. He's going for a big commitment with someone who likes to get out and do things. While she's looking for someone to goof off with. (this is odd... *smirk*) I was looking for the serious relationship with someone who understood the concept of making plans. While James is more of the sit at home and watch a movie... (a.k.a. making out on the couch) disinterested=me! Then he starts with this "I just need to get back in the game. I need to get a phone number from some girl that I don't know." I wanted to scream and say, "Hey, butthead, are you a frickin' idiot? I'm standing here... Right under your nose... I want what you want. Here I am!! (waves arms around then under my breath...)stupid..." Geez! throw me a frickin' bone here! and today I was going to say something. but need I repeat, I HAVE NO BALLS! I'm a wuss. and i need to finish this up so i can leave for youth group...

~we're too involved with the new transition to act upon a hipocritical vision~

HOME
CONFLICTS

Sign the guestbook!!!! (your conscience whispers)

Email: lobobyobo@hotmail.com