Fortunate vs. Unfortunate Genetics

02-06-01 Tuesday

~Like the time we made the baseball team but the still laughed at us. (You still suck)~

It's been one hell of a day. It's been one hell of a weekend. Starting with Saturday, I closed that night with Kellie and Danielle. So that was cool. We had the big farm show in the mall this weekend. That's always fun. It wouldn't bother me that much...but it attracts every hick from Lima and most surrounding counties. And the pig booth right outside our store was...unnecessary. Why don't they put the pigs on the other side of the frickin' mall? NO! They have to put the smelly squealy creatures right outside Gadzooks. I walked in the door of the mall, and the first thing I smelled were piggies. Bleh. Anyhow, Saturday night was the big bowling bash. I swear...we invited not only the people who work with us, but all the kids who come in the store almost every day. So I get to the bowling alley (Northland Lanes! not Westgate.) and Shannon was pulling in. So Mr. Chad...her boyfriend...ya. I don't know what it is, But I really don't like that guy. He's shifty. I can tell. So we go in, and Kim and Dave are there. So is Kent and Sean. Kyle (the new kid who hasn't even worked yet) walks in. Then Kellie and Brad showed up. We figured it was just gonna be us. (Danielle went home and got yelled at by her stepdad, Ben had been sick, and we Jill, not surprisingly never came.) Half way through the first game, Sean left and took Kent home. Beofre they had gone, Kyle and Kent had formed their own little conversation, and I'd been talking to Shannon. After they left, I started up a conversation with Kyle. He's 16...I thought about it...and I thought I was the youngest...then I remembered Kyle was there. 3 years younger then me. Anyhow, he kinda got quiet when Kent left, that's why I asked him what he's been up to. He asked me if I could give him a ride home. I said sure no problem...then I asked where he lives. Elida. Laurel Oaks...Which is a lot farther than I thought he'd live. The opposite direction from the bowling alley to my house. My house is about 2 minutes away from the Northland, and I agreed to drive clear across town to take him home. But whatever. I like doing stuff like that. Plus, he's a nice kid. Not to mention absolutely beautiful. Some other observations...I was the only one not smoking. Kyle and I were the only ones not drinking. I suck at bowling. The 1st game, I got a 59. (ouch) I sat out the 2nd game. And about half way through that game, Danny showed up. I was kinda excited that he came. Just because things were getting a little slow. I was just sitting there...staring off into space...and cheering Kyle on. He won the 2nd game. Ya, Mr. I don't bowl. Anyhow, Danny...we all know Danny. He's just crazy. He was bouncing off the walls. Dancing around. It was hilarious. Baby Got Back comes on. (thunder alley = special lights and music) So he and I were singing...every word. And he was dancing. Of course shaking his ass all around. He does the Madonna/Beautiful Stranger thing to Kim. His butt...her face...you know. And Dave (the husband) was sitting right there. He just covered his eyes and said, "well she aint gettin' that from me." and kinda shrugged his shoulders. Kyle and I both agreed that they should have played the new Snoopdogg song. Though they never did. Instead, it was the Grease medley remix thing. By this time we were in the third game, and I was bowling. We (Shannon, Kellie, and I were all singing) I get up during You're the one that I want. And Sandy says, "You better shape up, cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you." And I turn around, point at Danny and sing that part. Ha ha And if that wasn't funny enough, during the Summer Nights part of the medley (which happens to be the last song of the remix) Danny and were singing the parts to each other. And he comes over toward the end, sits on my lap, we're swaying to the music, and we sang to each other for the pure entertainment of our observers. It was the funniest. I don't know why, but Danny brings out that crazy silliness in me. I must say, that it's one thing I'll always love about him.

~Guess mine is not the first heart broken. My eyes are not the first to cry. I'm not first to know that there's just no gettin' over you. I know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you. But baby can't you see there's nothin else for me to do. I'm hopelessly devoted to you.~

So we left the bowling alley at about 1am, and I drove Kyle home. Didn't get myself home until 1:40am. Ya, then I went to bed. I worked Sunday 12-5pm. But when I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. I had a scratchy throat. I think Sean gave me what he has. Cause I didn't do any of my homework, then when the alarm went off Monday morning, I just didn't get up. I didn't shower...when I finally did get up, I laid in the recliner and watched tv all afternoon. Took a bath last night at about 5:30...then crawled back into the chari with my blanket and watched more tv. Friends, Drew Carey, 7th Heaven, then Roswell. OH boy! Then I went back to my room, realized I hadn't read the chapter for history...so I skimmed through that. Then slept. Got up this morning at frickin' 6am. It was snowing. AGAIN! So I'm thinking great. That means Lisa won't come to class. I thought about just staying home. And a little friend decided to pop up on the left side fo my face. Nice and big and red, and hurty. I looked in the mirror, and there's this creature next to my nose. He says hello by the way. Then I got in the shower and went to history. On my way to the campus (it's maybe a 10 minute drive) I'm sliding on the snow. I get to the corner of 81 and Roush Rd, and I tried to slow down to make my turn. BUt I wasn't slowing down. So I'm oh shitting everywhere. I try to turn going a bit too fast for that corner and the weather, and I realize that I turned the wheel but the car wasn't turning. So I'm sliding into the left turn lane on Roush, and there's a truck just sitting there...I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could, and the back end slid around, and I stopped. Just as the truck decided he was going to pull forward. So there wasn't a collision. The next thing I'm thinking is, "I'm just gonna turn around and go back home. The streets are atrocious. I no longer want to drive on them." but then I thought, "I'm half way there already, and I'm sure the roads will be better by this afternoon. I slid once. That's no reason to miss group essays in history AND a poetry essay." So I got to school in one piece. Amen. Lisa didn't come to history just as I suspected. NONE of the people in my group had read the chapter. Mark is like, "uh...oops." and Mark asked Todd if he'd read it, and he's like, "yes I did. NO!" Then there's weird guy...he didn't read it. Missy didn't even read it. I was the only one who'd even looked at it. So I wrote the paper. With Missy's help of course. She looked things up while I bs'd my heart out. And the guys...sat there...talked about their weekends...and kept telling us not to forget the part about The Yellow Fever Epidemic (the only part they looked up). Missy seems to think it's an A paper though. She says we put too much bull shit into it for it not to be. Then it was out to the lobby for a nice sit...Big D made me wait to get food until 11:10. So I just sat there. Brad walked in. I'm thinking, "don't come over here, I'm not having a good day. (hair is all over the place cause it was so cold I had to wear a hat. and I was wearing my big red ecko sweatshirt...and a pair of jeans for the second time)He comes up behind me (I was on the orange seperated couch) and leans over the couch. This was the exact conversation:
B: so are you exempt from classes now? (referring to the fact that the past 2 mondays, I've skipped theatre)
M: no. I'm sick...gimme a break.
B: Is there a new pass? Cause I'd like a get out of class free pass.
M: nobody's stopping you.
B: (he gets up with Sterns and is headed down the stairs toward the ria) -I'm- stopping me.
It's strange...that he'd notice that I wasn't in class. Chris didn't even say anything about it. I had to ask him what I'd missed. It's like the Ben thing...when he noticed that my hair was different the one day. Or something. I dunno. Then he comes trotting back in the room and sits himself down on my left side. (crazy red zit sticking 5 feet off my face side) and I noticed he had a cinnamon pop tart. I told him about my pop tart dream...I think he heard me when I told Lisa about it the one day, and he called me a freak. Anyhow, he asked if I wanted any. I said no. Cause I was waiting for Dave to get back so we could go get food. When Dave finally got back, he, Deanna and I went to Wendy's, and met Angie, Sarah, Derek, and Annie back at Angie and Annie's apartment. New experience for me. I'd never been there, but everyone else had. Angie said I was being weird cause I was quiet. But I was just listening. They were talking about Nikki (girl I went to high school with, she's in choir) and how she's Brad's dream girl or something...and I was like...cough...Brad??? She just doesn't come across as his type. I don't know. Obviously I don't know. Nikki Jordan...she's a year older than me. (or two maybe) which means she's either 2 or 3 years older than Brad. ugh...it got me thinking...about the last person I want to think about. Cause I'm not gonna get myself into trouble...again. Then Dave said it might have been Chris. Hell...she doesn't even seem Chris' type. Then again...ya. Chris can be really insulting. But at other times, he's ok. Most of the time, he just ignores me. We got back, and I decided not to take my hat off cause HELLO! bad hair day. I go in the choir room, and Jason snatches the hat and takes off running. So I go chasing after him. He passes to Brad, then Brad to Jason...back and forth...then Sterns gets a hold of it. He yells, "I'm gonna keep it too" (I don't know what's so great about that hat. It's a Gadzooks original rainbow gay pride hat...we still have them...but everyone wants mine. Aimee wore it...and all the guys think it's just the best. Not sure why.) So I chased Sterns out into the hallway, through the lobby, and back to the choir room. He passed to Jason, then Jason passed to Brad. Brad was no longer paying attention, so it landed on his arm, and I snatched it back and put it on my head. UGH. Unnecessary. Right, choir ends, and I'm gathering my crap...rushing Lisa out the door cause there's about 10 minutes to get over to my next class at Galvin. (and seats are precious in poetry. you have to get there early so you don't get stuck sitting next to random conversation girl...and so you don't end up in the front...you'll have to write on the board) I get out into the hall outside of the choir room, and there's Eisa. She's like, "poetry's cancelled today." I don't know what happened. But I started jumping up and down...I yelled..."YEEEAAA!" and tehy pulled me outside (I was being embarassing I suppose) so I did my little dance outside. I did the little hand thing...and I did my disco roll, then the running man. You know it baby. I think the last time I did that was last quarter when I got an A on my theatre test. So I got to come home early.

~Communication is a lot like the wind when I speak. It's like no one understands and I'm left with empty hands forever. I can't speak. So many things I'll never learn. You can't cross bridges that you've burned.~

I'm going to take another shower before I got to work. Cause my hair is just...flat from my hat. And I went to school, and smelled the cigarette smoke on myself. I hate that. I think it's cause I wore these jeans to the bowling alley. Plus, I'm sick...and I just feel disgusting when I'm sick. Like the germs are all...ya, and I can't get rid of them. So I've decided to get a shower. And...I checked my mail when I got home. Guess who I got a message from? Dale. He's all, "I'm sorry that the conversation wasn't all that great. My life isn't really that exciting. I guess I'll have to think of something better to talk about next time. I'll call you sometime this week." This is what I get for giving him my url. I know I didn't say anything to him about it. And there was a reason for that. So it's my fault for giving him access to my journal. Duh Laura. I just...I'm still not settled with the whole thing. And I didn't think it was weird (us going out on a date) until Dale said that Channie thought it was weird. Then all the memories of making fun of the poor kid flooded back, and I just feel bad about that. Then I think that maybe there's a reason for that. And it's just weird and not right and I don't know. Here I go again. The girls and I got into a conversation about this at Annie and Angie's today. About how I've never been attracted to guys who ask me out, but the same things happen in reverse. I'm attracted to guys who don't like me. (like that) It's never been mutual. Recent Examples of guys I like who don't like me: Chris, Andrew, Ben etc. Then the other way around guys who liked me and I didn't like them, examples: Ward, Smitty, Jon. And it's not that I don't find these guys attractive. It's other things. I pick out reasons. With Ward it was the fact that he's not a virgin, with Smitty it was his lack of intelligence, with Jon it was not only his shyness but also his lack of social skills. And the same thing is happening with Dale. He's Channie's brother. He's only had a few girlfriends...and he calls...like you wouldn't believe. Plus, he's not so exciting. That was a totally different conversation. I think with Lisa...maybe not, but it was the attraction to bad boys. Or just guys who aren't always nice to you. I don't know what it is about that. The chase is always the best part. It can't be really easy. cause it gets boring. It's confusing. And I really don't want to talk about it. Even though I'm sure when Dale finally does get a hold of me, he's gonna want an explanation for all of this mumbo jumbo.

~You can't change the way you feel. But you can't tell me this aint real.~

So I get to train Kyle tonight. Hopefully Rodney won't be there. I doubt it. He's from Michigan. And if he stays here too late, he'll be driving late at night. That's if he even came today. With the weather like this. Ya, Michigan makes me think of Jesse. He's one person I could never get sick of talking to. Just because he's funny and wacky and silly. And he'll say anything. He compliments me, but it's not like, "you're cute." It's like, "you're so hot...and you give me a raging boner." how strange is that? I know, I'm a weird girl, and I'm destined to be alone. But ya. To go along with the title of this entry, I was speaking of genetics and how fortunate they can be...but also how unfortunate they can be. Like...with Jesse, he's totally hot (imo) and that's definately fortunate. But he was born to parents in Michigan...unfortunate. Then there's Kyle. He's a good looking punk boy. But the other night, he had on khaki pants and a sweater with a dress shirt underneath it...yes...I know what the boy was wearing. I pay attention to stuff like that. Anyhow, he's got dark brown hair, and beautiful blue eyes. This...all very fortunate. But, he's 16 years old. That, is unfortunate. Maybe not so much for him (cause he doesn't have to worry about girls like me chasing after him) but unfortunate for me...cause it's kinda illegal. Ok, this concludes this discussion. I need to bathe. And go train Kyle. Not a bad thing. Nah. This journal entry was brought to you by the letters f and u. And by the numbers 1 and 3. Thank you, come again.

~I remember when you said everything is gonna be alright.~

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